venting sorry so long

[nosoul]

hi um i think i m the only 14 year old that has this much bad stuff happen to any way here is what happened since decmeber 03 in december my dad lost his job.my mom didn't want to have christmas since we had no money and her dad was in halifax gettin cemo and redation done for his lung cancer.in july my mom left and went to halifax with my uant.at the end of july my boyfriend of 5 months dumped me.then in august my grandfather dies from cancer.he couldn't beat it.a few days after my grandfathers funeral my grandmothers leaves and goes to london with my uncle and his wife.my uncle and my cousins and uant go back to halifax. at the end of august my fav and closet uant leaves and goes to school on a differnt island that is 6 hours away and i wont see her till christmas.in september i go to grade 8 everything is pretty good.i feel my friends movin farther away from.my best friends are gettin other best friends.in janary of 04 i found this guy who is 2 years younger then me.he was awesome in march he dumped me and thats when my friends moved even farther away.on my birthday i started datin a guy 1 year younger then me and i was hangin around wit ppl 1 year younger then me.then inmay i started datin the person from july and i was so caught up in him and i started hangin around as the ppl i call i "differnt" bcuz they're not prep or jocks or all girly they're just differnt and they are really nice then in june i got dumped yet again by the that i liked so much.then a few dayz later he added me to a conversation on i.m and he had his new girlfriend in it and i still had feelings for him so i opened a new conversation window wit him and i got wikid mad at him and he asked y i did it and my response was u wouldn't understand.then in june i found this guy who made me feel so good but at the end of june i didn't like him any more so i dumped him but now i reget it and don't but i no that life will go on and tomorrow will be a new day nad i will live on and ex boyfriends can b the biggest jerks in the world they may not b ur ex but they are probably sumone elses. anyway i just had to get this off my chest

[maharito]

I've said it to some of my other pals...and I'll say it again...

 

'How can you truly please someone who wants what they want for themselves before anything else?'

 

(This was actually a conclusion from analyzing the conditions of women who betray, but it doesn't take much to realize the possibilities for my own gender.)

 

-----

 

It's hard to believe that you'd be so young and experience this much. But then again, it'd be hard to believe I'm 21 and without much of any such experience. I've lost noone dear to me, nor have I had a real girlfriend. I've had folks tell me that it doesn't make any sense. But so what??

 

When I was your age and started longing for comfort or an individual to share some Quality Time with, sometimes the only thing that helped was to cry in my pillow. I didn't feel I could fit in with anyone.

 

But that was my own choice...was it not?

 

You could decide to become more like the folks in your town--adapt to their ways of thinking, enjoy what they enjoy, test the waters with folks there. But it sounds like none of the 'pools' are suited for you. Being 14, you don't have much choice over where you live. You may as well just get over that/take some satisfaction that your parents provide for you, right now. 8)

 

So what can you do while you're there? (This really is a difficult question...)

 

I'm not physically there...so there's not much I would do. Given your situation, you must find folks your age in your area if you want some friends. I didn't choose that route myself because the folks 'aren't my type.' But if there are some folks in your area who you think really deserve a chance, let em know.

 

You may wonder why people who want to help keep going on about how young you are. Your youth matters! These guys and gals you hang out with now are growing up with you!! And what are they going to learn about life? What are they going to learn about relationships? They will learn a few things through their parents...but they will learn a lot through THEIR friends.

 

That's YOU!

 

You are right, far as I can tell--exes really suck. It hurts, it stings, and sometimes it feels like you left a part of your life with another person. I wouldn't disagree... Now tell me, why did you leave your last boyfriend in the end of this June? Ex-boys aren't any more fun to deal with than ex-girls. I know you don't want to become part of the problem, but maybe you can't see much beyond your own desires...after all, you have been put through a bit of grief. You've got a lot to deal with yourself, departing and stressed relatives and your truer pals as well as the ones who dumped you.

 

Have you ever considered that maybe it's not time yet to commit like that? You want to grow really close to someone, to the point that that person will stick by you at all times. It really is a good feeling to have that, and there's little wrong with wanting it. I wish more of us could find that. But you have to start with yourself. And it's pretty clear that you have some things to sort out for yourself before you can truly care about another individual. You passed up a guy last month, and you regret it. Why should you? That person could be the friend that helps you slowly confront and deal with your social and family issues, after you've gotten to know each other and enjoy each other's company. It's way too easy to get romantic for the wrong reasons...

 

The basic point I'm trying to make overall is that you can have your feelings and you can have your friends. But you and many folks your age are dealing with some serious stuff and you have to recognize that there probably isn't ANYONE in your circle who has got it all together. And if they don't have it all together...then it makes it all that much harder for them to truly ~love~ another person. The best they can do is chase what their heart wants, go after this and that, leave a trail of exes. If you want to romantically experiment, go ahead. But look at yourself before you go very deep with someone else. It's not worth regretting a breakup when you both have your own lives to deal with.

 

But finding a few friends, perhaps guy friends, to discuss the matters that are really important to each other (after you have gotten comfortable as good ole friends)...that may be what helps you grow up and be the good lover you would want your man to be as well.

 

'Be the change you want to see in the world.' -Gandhi

[myplague234]

o i forgot to say sumthing else.....i had a lot of stuff happen to me when i was 12-13 and i attempted suicide twice in this time period...so cheer up a bit