Recovery is an obstacle course

[Eddie37]

It really is. There's a start and there's a finish...and it wasn't meant to be easy, in fact, just the opposite. An obstacle course it there to test our ability to adapt and overcome. But each obstacle we overcome makes us more tired, we feel the effects of each of them until we finish and we can finally rest. So overcoming an obstacle doesn't mean you don't feel the effects of it throughout the rest of the race. It simply means that it's no longer keeping you from getting to the next obstacle ahead.

 

I've noticed in my own recoveries from breakup, primarily with my divorce and with my current ex, that we start out our journey running...then we hit our first obstacle(feelings of abandonment, desperation, panic), and it's usually the most painful and takes the most time to overcome. The nice thing is, in between obstacles we can cruise a little...until we hit our next one. I think that's why many of us feel like, just when we've started to feel good, we get hit with more pain. It's just one more obstacle to overcome. But it feels good when you realize that most of the big, difficult obstacles are behind you and you can start to see the finish line.

[Philos]

I think this is true... as much as it hurts, and that I cry now 2 months in and I hadn't cried the first month. I think I'm starting to heal a little bit understanding better how our breakup happened. It makes it easier to consider why she only took 2 weeks to find someone else, because her breakup took months and I was the last one to know.

 

On the 4th of july she texted me that she was spending the night at her mother's cause she drank some. I think that she honestly talked with her mother about how to dump me and move forward. She dumped me about 2 seconds in the door when she got back the next day.

 

I still have a ridiculous amount of pain and suffering and time to go through to completely heal. I just ordered some books off amazon, uncoupling and a couple other books to help me gain a better understanding. They won't be delivered for at least a week!