Lets get serious here... how do you manage after a breakup?

[irishgirl89]

Okay, so basically the story is I am 21, hadnt ever been in this serious of a relationship before, I was with a guy for a year and a half. He was cheating on me for our whole relationship, and now is basically telling people he was never with me and hardly even knows me.. I still talk to him and continue to sleep with him (I know Im crazy) but seriously I dont know what to do. Even though he treated me like garbage, I still cant seem to let go. What do I need to do to convince myself that I deserve better. Its been 2 months and I still love him and miss him, if he came back to me together and said he loved me I would take him back , that isnt normal! what is wrong with me? I feel like a walking zombie Im miserable. My heart just hurts I cant explain it, Im sad but its like a painful sad... Any advice.... How do I move on?

[sonicfan287]

No, in any many regards it's "not normal" but neither is the feeling of love and you shouldn't feel bad, or beat yourself up for feeling this way. Its an unfortunate case that in most of these situation, the ones who are wronged suffer more than the ones who do the wronging. In other words, you really care about holding on to a relationship and him and I completely understand, having been there before (and currently) and you're suffering inside because of that, while it appears (I say appears because I don't know how him well enough to say) he's been handling things much better and someone who cheats on you is doing horrible things that they shouldnt be doing in a relationship and is not going through the same sadness you are.

 

You're not crazy and there is no one given way to handle any breakup, especially ones in which these were your first feelings of "love", a concept that appears to be a bit too abstract for youth these days, myself included. It's so hard to know what love is, how to handle it, what to do when you think it's gone and when it actually is gone, and several other pointers that noone really teaches you because there is no set solution.

 

The logical answer is to move on with your life and forget him but that's also logic without love being considered, and from what I can tell, love knows no logic.

[dancingcolors]

For me, it was sooooo hard. How did I manage after the love of my life dumped me for another woman? I went kind of crazy. My advice isn't sound, but this is how far gone I got. This isn't advice.

 

I got rid of all my possessions, sold my house, and went to live with friends so I wouldn't be alone. Then I moved to this tiny town I used to live in, where everyone is friends, so I wouldn't be alone.

 

This was last year. I cried all the time, screamed sometimes, talked everyones ear off about it. I went to counseling every week. I went to acupuncture, reiki, massage etc, to help me get over it. I took it easy, didn't work much, and went into debt. (not recommended).

 

I am much better. I am functioning again, working again. I haven't cried in maybe a week about it. It is getting better, but it was very hard.

 

It is worse when I am alone. I try to not be alone for too long.

[irishgirl89]

Thank you for that, it helps to hear that Im not insane.

[irishgirl89]

Yes it is easier when youre not alone, being with my friends is helpful. Just feels like it will never end though ughh

[sunday2010]

Yes it is easier when youre not alone, being with my friends is helpful. Just feels like it will never end though ughh

 

Totally agree I'm 4 months and really can't get over it its so difficult i feel when your alone your at you worst..so if you can be living with good people Like I aren't it helps...

[Starrgrl]

I'm a zombie too

and I've been isolating myself =(

I know I shouldn't but I'm so down

can't be bothered doing anything

 

I'm so messed up right now.

It does hurt, it's like a heavy/uneasy/stabbing/empty feeling

 

I don't talk to him anymore. That's the best decision I ever made in regards to this relationship. That and breaking up with him.

 

I'm nearly 21 (also an 89er)

 

I find that no matter how alright I am during the day, when night hits,, I feel really down.

I can't help it, it's really hard yeah? But you must be strong, you have to have respect for yourself.

Don't talk to him or sleep with him anymore, you're worth more than that you knkow.

[irishgirl89]

I'm a zombie too

and I've been isolating myself =(

I know I shouldn't but I'm so down

can't be bothered doing anything

 

I'm so messed up right now.

It does hurt, it's like a heavy/uneasy/stabbing/empty feeling

 

I don't talk to him anymore. That's the best decision I ever made in regards to this relationship. That and breaking up with him.

 

I'm nearly 21 (also an 89er)

 

I find that no matter how alright I am during the day, when night hits,, I feel really down.

I can't help it, it's really hard yeah? But you must be strong, you have to have respect for yourself.

Don't talk to him or sleep with him anymore, you're worth more than that you knkow.

Yeah its soo hard.. and yes night time is the worst time because I lay here alone and just wish I could cuddle with him one last time. I just want it to be fake again, clearly the relationship was fake, cause he never loved me.. but honestly I dont care I want to feel the fakeness one last time cause to me it was real. it will always be real.

[Starrgrl]

Yeah I know. I keep wishing I could hold him one last time and have everything that happened disappear, but I can't.

 

So yeah, we shouldn't look to the past. We need to face forward. He was toxic to me, and that's why I cut him out of my life.

 

And you must too.

[Triplell]

It may not seem normal, but so many of us do it, that it seems to be the norm. Same way for me, my ex has put me through hell, yet I don't know what I would do if she started contacting me again.

 

The best thing for you to do is to quit contacting your ex. It's hard, but being strong through it will pay off.

[irishgirl89]

It may not seem normal, but so many of us do it, that it seems to be the norm. Same way for me, my ex has put me through hell, yet I don't know what I would do if she started contacting me again.

 

The best thing for you to do is to quit contacting your ex. It's hard, but being strong through it will pay off.

Thank you. its crazy hard. I dont wanna hurt like this ever again