Co-worker.... is he interested?

[Nixee]

OK.... So I've had a pretty insane crush on a co-worker of mine for over a year now that most of the time I just try to ignore. I get away with ignoring it often because lately we don't even work in the same office (we used to), though we see each other at meetings here and there, and call or email each other from time to time.

 

But the crush won't go away, and every once in awhile we still have these little interactions that make me wonder....

So I need to get opinions on whether he may like me or not...

 

-When we worked in the same office I would see him regularly and we had a decent rapport/banter. After I moved offices, one of my co-workers said he walked out near the area where I worked a lot more frequently when I was there

-He would always tease me for whatever food I was eating at lunch

-After I moved offices, occasionally we would email banter back and forth for no real reason, just playfully, or after sending a work-related email...

-In some of our playful bantering he picked up that I speak some French, and when I responded to him with a French phrase he didn't understand... but most recently I sent him a work related email and I got back a French response from him which led to a string of back and forth French. This time he either understood, or was looking up things to say to me in French

 

Maybe it isn't much to go on, but for some silly reason, some people you just like and don't seem to stop. This crush is like that. Improbable, inconvenient... and very strong. If I had a really good feeling about things, I might casually and cautiously try to nudge it further, because he is sooooo my type.

[lana111]

go for it!

[sidehop]

That's a tough one in my opinion...he could be very friendly or he may be interested...

 

Any other signs maybe that indicate his interests?

[Sparkly Eyes]

hard to say...Why don't you just ask him if he likes to grab a coffee with you? Or tell him that there is a movie or an event that you'd like to go to, but have no one at the moment to go with and ask him if he likes to join you. It doesn't have to look like a date. It could just be something friendly. Once you two go somewhere together, then you might be able to figure out his amount of interest.

[Nixee]

That's a tough one in my opinion...he could be very friendly or he may be interested...

 

Any other signs maybe that indicate his interests?

 

That is what is just so hard.... he is difficult to read, and I think it also has to do with the fact that we work together. Well, for the same company at least, and it is a small company, so it makes you self conscious. Even if us socializing is not forbidden or anything, it is still something to be gossiped about, and he is the more keep to himself type, or just hang out with the guys sort.

 

He is pretty quiet, sarcastic, definitely not overly friendly.

 

He golfs (so do I), and I think a few of us from work may be getting together to do that soon so perhaps I will see him then...

[sidehop]

It's possible he may be feeling the same way about you if he's interested. Perhaps drop small hints when you're together next time and see if he bites?

[Nixee]

hard to say...Why don't you just ask him if he likes to grab a coffee with you? Or tell him that there is a movie or an event that you'd like to go to, but have no one at the moment to go with and ask him if he likes to join you. It doesn't have to look like a date. It could just be something friendly. Once you two go somewhere together, then you might be able to figure out his amount of interest.

 

Believe me.... I have thought about it lots of times! I just don't know if I have the nerve to blatantly call him up at work or email him and be like "umm... so... come hang out with me..." haha. I guess our working arrangement doesn't make it very easy for that and I'm not very aggressive in that way.... so we'll see...

 

It's possible he may be feeling the same way about you if he's interested. Perhaps drop small hints when you're together next time and see if he bites?

 

Maybe I could do this. And it is probably true that I am not overly open with my feelings and my crush on him... so he very well may feel the same way - unsure... who knows. I guess if I get the chance I will try to drop hints.

[Sagreras]

Use your feminine wiles, and make yourself accessible. I can assure you that if he is interested, he will rise to the occasion. It’s an age old biological imperative at play here, and he will respond. Beguiled by your exotic radiance, and mentally incapacitated by your charm.

[Nixee]

Use your feminine wiles, and make yourself accessible. I can assure you that if he is interested, he will rise to the occasion. It’s an age old biological imperative at play here, and he will respond. Beguiled by your exotic radiance, and mentally incapacitated by your charm.

 

Well I guess that is what I want to do! The trick is... doing it from another office now that I don't see him often... those little emails and phone calls are short and sweet, playful though they are... but it is hard push it further than that.

 

Even the ridiculous speaking in French back and forth thing was enough to dig up the crush for me each time I try to push it aside (simply because I am helpless to pursue it further). Yet HE responded like that, being playful with me.

 

So how do I become more accessible now? ](*,)

[Phedre]

Teasing is always a hint to me. I could be wrong though, my flirtometer is freaking broken.

[NightLily]

I think you should ask him out

 

Go get 'em girl.

[Sagreras]

So how do I become more accessible now?

 

One wins by being a better strategist, and the one initiating contact, with a directive command approach, will always have their quarry at a disadvantage.

 

One initiates a strategy with an OODA loop, or a Boyd cycle.

 

Observation, Orientation, Decision, Action.

 

Directive command, because all plans rarely survive first contact with the enemy; your strategy must be fluid to maintain the advantage.

 

Once you commence your Boyd cycle, he'll create his own in response. This also means that he will always be lagging several steps behind you!

 

As with all battles, you must focus your efforts by exploiting his weakest points (be hopelessly coquettish, impenetrably suggestive, confidently eager) , maintain the initiative, and maintain the momentum.

 

Who knows, in a best case scenario:

 

"The most advantageous thing of all is an offensive operation against an opponent who stays where he is."

[Curious_Girl]

One wins by being a better strategist, and the one initiating contact, with a directive command approach, will always have their quarry at a disadvantage.

 

One initiates a strategy with an OODA loop, or a Boyd cycle.

 

Observation, Orientation, Decision, Action.

 

Directive command, because all plans rarely survive first contact with the enemy; your strategy must be fluid to maintain the advantage.

 

Once you commence your Boyd cycle, he'll create his own in response. This also means that he will always be lagging several steps behind you!

 

As with all battles, you must focus your efforts by exploiting his weakest points (be hopelessly coquettish, impenetrably suggestive, confidently eager) , maintain the initiative, and maintain the momentum.

 

Who knows, in a best case scenario:

 

"The most advantageous thing of all is an offensive operation against an opponent who stays where he is."

 

I like this post! Funny, but actually makes a lot of sense, too.

 

The part in bold is so true! What's directive command?

[Sagreras]

What's directive command?

 

Directive Command is based upon an understanding that life is inherently chaotic, but that the chaos can be exploited by a quick-reacting strategy.

 

As opposed to a system of Restrictive Control which assumes that life is a structured mechanical affair which can be tamed with good planning.

 

Forums, such as these, are clogged and sticky with examples of the Restrictive Control approach.

 

Few notice that this method is as unsound on the battlefield as it is in life.

[Phedre]

Directive Command is based upon an understanding that life is inherently chaotic, but that the chaos can be exploited by a quick-reacting strategy.

 

As opposed to a system of Restrictive Control which assumes that life is a structured mechanical affair which can be tamed with good planning.

 

Forums, such as these, are clogged and sticky with examples of the Restrictive Control approach.

 

Few notice that this method is as unsound on the battlefield as it is in life.

 

Love your approach. I need more Directive Command and less Restrictive Controle in my life... I just feel it comes down to be more opened to the field of possibilities. Getting there but switching life approaches take time!

[Nixee]

I think you should ask him out

 

Go get 'em girl.

 

Gulp!! Thanks Suzy! Ack.... now to sit and wonder if I can figure the guts.. .or.. umm... strategy? Direct command?...

 

One wins by being a better strategist, and the one initiating contact, with a directive command approach, will always have their quarry at a disadvantage.

 

One initiates a strategy with an OODA loop, or a Boyd cycle.

 

Observation, Orientation, Decision, Action.

 

Directive command, because all plans rarely survive first contact with the enemy; your strategy must be fluid to maintain the advantage.

 

Once you commence your Boyd cycle, he'll create his own in response. This also means that he will always be lagging several steps behind you!

 

As with all battles, you must focus your efforts by exploiting his weakest points (be hopelessly coquettish, impenetrably suggestive, confidently eager) , maintain the initiative, and maintain the momentum.

 

Who knows, in a best case scenario:

 

"The most advantageous thing of all is an offensive operation against an opponent who stays where he is."

 

 

Oh dear... funny...

 

Yet painfully astute. Is this love or war? hah....

 

I will have a brainstorm a strategy

[NightLily]

Grl You are hot. In the very least he will be flattered. And he won't say no if he is insterested..

[Nixee]

Awww...thanks love

 

He's kinda hot though... at least to me. Ahhh! We'll see