do people understand about cutting?

[blackcrosses]

well my parents dont know about me cutting, if they did it would get bad, real bad. but my friends arent sure really how to handle me and my cope-ing ways. some hanlde it well and others just dont know how to act. i understand this, but i was looking for other opinions on their familys and friends reactions.

 

also, is it bad to not want to stop? cause i dont, i like the look of the scabs, then i rip them open so they bleed. then i like having the scars there when the cuts fade. is that weird?

 

*johhny depp, who i love, is a cutter. i did not know this!

[Val_76]

I've been there. You should see my arms and you would feel sorry for me Well it is considered weird to cut but I can understand it so well even if its been 14 years I didn't touched a blade to cut myself.

 

When my father found out (I was living alone with him at that time) he just froze. He never reacted, never talked about it. He couldn't face the fact his kid was doing something that crazy. I never tried to discuss it with him either. He told me to stop once and never said a word about it after that. I was wearing long sleeves shirts all the time anyway so he didn't see them.

 

My mother really freaked out. I wasn't living with her at that time so it didn't really mattered. All she couldn't do was to blame my father for it... newly divorced they were at each other throat all the time. She didn't do much to help. She dragged me to see a psy once... not a good memory for her I think All she could do was to cry and tell me to stop it, that it wasn't my fault, blah, blah, blah.

 

I have 2 brothers, the younger one tough it was kinda cool, tried it but couldn't stand pain so he stopped after the first cut. My bigger brother was all moral and virtue but he didn't do much either. No one tried to understand I think, just judge. All hell broke loose for a time than the calm came back in my life. I stopped by myself after understanding why I was doing it.

 

One advice... Cut where people can't look, like not on the arms because if ever you want to stop someday and they're appearant you'll have to answer a lot of questions from people you don't care about and mean nothing to you. I have at least a hundred scars on my left arm (favorite place to cut) and even if they are white (old scars) they just show too much, especially the ones with the stiches.

 

Edit: feel free to PM me if you want.

[Tinkerbell]

Cut where people can't look, like not on the arms because if ever you want to stop someday and they're appearant you'll have to answer a lot of questions from people you don't care about and mean nothing to you

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by this Val_76, but I can assure you that it is very possible (and likely) that someone would ask so many questions because they are close to the cutter and because they care. No parent, friend, or spouse wishes to find out that their loved one has taken to self-injury, so a shocked and dismayed reaction is completely normally. A friend of mine began cutting her wrists a few years ago and when I found out I was absolutely devastated that she had felt the need to take it that far. I tried my best to help her with her problems, but, needless to say, a person can only recover if they want to help themselves.

As for blackcrosses, I certainly don't think that it's a good thing that you don't wish to refrain from harming yourself, and I hope that you will eventually will be able to deal with things in another way. Try to understand your friends who aren't sure how to act around you, because chances are they are rather frightened because they know that you are threatening your own well-being and there isn't much they can do about it. It's possible that one of your friends may contact your parents with the news, and if this is the case, although you may be very angry at first, one day you will appreciate it.

Take care,

~Tink

[Val_76]

I agree Tinkerbell, people near you care, they just don't know how to react most of the time because it would mean dealing with their own deamons and asking themselves what they did wrong if the one they love so much feel the need to inflict so much pain on himself.

 

I was referring to the people you work with, the doctor that see the scars and feel the need why you did that, the teacher, the everyday jo that happen to see your scars. A lot of questions you don't necesseraly want to answer.

 

People those days are really self centered and they see others problems like one of their problem and they wish to solve it as fast as possible. They tend to only listen to what they have to say and not what YOU have to say. Real listeners are really rare those days.

 

The questions was not should I stop or should I go on, it was how your relatives reacted when they've found out (because they will find it out eventually). The answer in my case was sadly no. Even if people care they usually fail to understand about self injury (cutting).

[Pippin]

Most people I know don't react very well. I haven't told those people that I cut. Some how the conversation just comes up and they are all wigged out by it and are like "why would anyone do something like that it's so stupid, People who do that need to be locked up in a loony bin they are so weird and stuff" so I just don't tell them. I'm slowly opening up to my friends. I feel that they will find out anyways so I may as well tell them. Most of my friends that I have told do too and some of them I was surprised. Most of them I wouldn't think they would. My parents don't know I do either. I'm kind of scared of their reaction. I'm not sure if they would be nice and get me help or they would be mad and kick me out of the house. People are so unpredictable like that. I understand that you don't want to quit. I'm not sure that I want to quit. But I'm slowly trying to stop whether or not I want to. I do have my set backs though. Yesterday was a set back. I keep a count of how many days it has been since I have cut and I screwed up. But I'm trying again. I don't want to quit but I think I have to before I accidentally do something I don't mean to do. I don't want to kill myself. I just want to relieve stress. So I understand that you don't want to quit. PM me if you would like.

 

Pippin