NC In Same House...Or Rather LC

[Strife]

Okay, so I'll be living with my ex for a year at the beginning of next month, and for a week, it will just be me and her, alone in the house. I'm halfway through day 9 of NC - we're long distance, till we return to our house for University.

 

How do I LC without being a jerk/NC when its me and her, with two other flatmates? I don't want to create an unpleasant environment for the others, and yet at the same time I don't want to live up to her expectations of me being her doormat and emotional crutch - she wants a super close relationship with me, where nothing has changed between us (as they have over summer), where we still cook together, watch tv etc....I know that sitting with her, socialising with her alone is a no, no..I just don't want to come accross as a jerk to all our friends (our social group is shared), and seem like I'm trying to force her out.

 

The thing is as well, that although I'm moving on, getting through the breakup, A part of me still wants to give her another chance, naive I know.

 

Thoughts?

[JJ Ryder]

Ugh, I had to do this with my now ex wife while we figured out our divorce agreement. We lived together under the same roof for 8 months. All you can do is act civil and see if you can set some ground rules that each of you are good with.

[tastytoothpaste]

Yikes! Double yikes! I'd just keep my distance. Stay in your room if she's on the couch watching tv, rather than watching it with her. You don't have to be a jerk--just be cordial. If you're cooking dinner for your flatmates, make some for her as well. You can't exclude her from activities, but you can exclude yourself from time to time for the sake of your emotional sanity.

[Strife]

Ugh, I had to do this with my now ex wife while we figured out our divorce agreement. We lived together under the same roof for 8 months. All you can do is act civil and see if you can set some ground rules that each of you are good with.

 

Sounds...painful! I think I'll sit her down and try and make some informal 'rules'.

 

Yikes! Double yikes! I'd just keep my distance. Stay in your room if she's on the couch watching tv, rather than watching it with her. You don't have to be a jerk--just be cordial. If you're cooking dinner for your flatmates, make some for her as well. You can't exclude her from activities, but you can exclude yourself from time to time for the sake of your emotional sanity.

 

Emotional sanity...I was doing okay NC'ing her, and she literally just rang me briefly to discuss something about the house. Nice to know she hasn't deleted my number I guess, although it shows she doesn't want to reconcile. Continue the healing and moving on! The thing is that because she acted 'off' on the phone (I sent her an email, stating why I was NCing her and then deleted her off of everything), I can't help but feel she might act like this when we get back. Wait and see I suppose.

 

But yes, I'm not going to be there for her, at her beck and call, she needs to realise that she ended it with me, messed me around for 2 months and she know effectively loses the privilege of me 'properly' in her life.

 

How would I deal with her dating/a new relationship? Or if I myself began dating...? I'm not petty enough to rub her nose in it, but I don't want to feel like I'm 'hiding' the person I'm seeing.