My mistake.

[Lucid]

Ok so for a while now Ive been dealing with jealousy issues, Im doing my very best to work through them myself and work out where it is coming from.

 

Last night my boyfriend came home from a night out and basically crashed out and left his phone in the livingroom and it rang really early in the morning while I was still up so I went to answer it and by the time I got there the person had hung up and it was a witheld number, but I then noticed he had called a girl that before we met he had slept with and was going to go on a date, he had called her twice within about 10mins apart.

 

At first I thought because I knew she would be at the same party he was at maybe he was looking for other people, but I couldnt help but wonder.

 

So I woke him up and asked him about it but really wrong time and I got told to F* off because he was so tired and still drunk and pretty much couldnt remember anything.

 

So we talked again this morning and he said that he doesnt know why he called her, he does normally not remember much after a night out because of the ammount he drinks, so that isnt anything unusual.

 

I just told him what happened and asked him why and he just seems to always get frustrated with me because he has caught me looking at his phone before and after that Ive never done it again, I had the perfect chance to do it last night but I never bothered because Im learning to trust him, I try to show that to him but it seems like the past is stuck with him and he just doesnt understand and when I have a slight problem it brings it all back to him.

 

So now he seems to just be not talking to me and well is suffering from a hangover still but Id just love him to understand that I only worry because I care, he has been such an amazing person in my life over the past nearly a year and its just feeling like its slipping away from me because of my own mistakes and that I just do not want.

 

So how on earth do I show him how much Ive changed, how much I love him and for him to understand it all.

He has a long history of depression and is on mood stabilizers for it so there are times when he is up and down and he uses humour to avoid serious situations and also can just get to the point where he gives up and shuts down because he doesnt want to talk about it anymore.

 

So Im sat here wondering whats going through his mind, whether or not there is anything like breaking up running through there because with him I can never tell everything seems like its my fault though and I just dont know what to do to change it

[DN]

I would want to know why he called her twice too and being drunk is no excuse. Snooping is not cool but when you snoop and find something that becomes less important that the suspicious behaviour.

[WockaWocka]

Going through your bf's (or gf's) phone is never desirable, but doing so and finding evidence they may have cheated is even less so. You really want to convince him how much you care for him, but it sounds like he didn't give a good explanation for an understandably uncomfortable situation, namely that he has been in contact with someone he slept with before and he drank too much to (supposedly) remember what may or may not have happened. He's not even willing to acknowledge why this might make you uncomfortable, even though you shouldn't have been going through his phone in the first place.

 

If i were you I might be packing his bags for him rather than worrying he's going to break up with me. But that's just me. Sorry.

[Lucid]

Yea, I still really want to know but the moment seems to have passed.

 

I can see him getting really mad if I bring it up again, He always says I shoukd trust him but how can I when I find things like this and get blanked when I want a straight answer.