Let the crush go? Or i should have been more aggressive like how other girls can be?

[motorgrl]

Well i have been at this company for a few years.. i always thought this one guy was good looking and had a good personality as well.. he is pretty popular in the office as well..does get attention and i am very quiet. He has always been nice to me but he is nice to everyone.. sometimes i feel like in the past he may look out for me a little here and there.

 

I have been kind of down lately at work, not looking good more than usual..different problems going on..he actually approached me one afternoon and asked are u ok? and i said yea and he was like are you sure, you promise? and i didn't really say anything to that..he then approached me later and like sat on the opposite end of me and said i am more quiet than usual and he knows something is wrong and he offered to take me out for a drink to talk..and i said maybe..and he said he would ask again before leaving..it turns out a coworkers offered him baseball tickets though which of course he should go to and he did..no hard feelings there since i didn't even completely agree anyway.

 

We went out over a month ago with coworkers and towards the end of the evening he came over to me and said something and then said do i want to do a shot and i said sure..so we wind up at the bar by ourselves..it looked like most of the coworkers left..it seems like he was attracted to me..he placed his hand on my back once, leaned in closer when i couldnt hear what he was saying where he was pretty close to my mouth...We got to talking and we eventually went back to hang out a his place where i have been once before as a group though.

 

When we left, we saw two coworkers saw us leave and we thought everyone left. So he walked away first and i said goodnight. It might have looked a little suspicious to them regardless. i didn't think it was going to happen but he got a cab and opened the door for me and we both got in and headed to his place. I just felt comfortable with him i guess..we did wind up making out at his place..the kisses seemed more sensual and soft..but before anything happened we were laying down together and he said my name and like what am i doing here in a casual/nice way..and i said do you want me to go and he said no if i didn't want you here i wouldn't have invited you. And i said i just wanted to spend time with you. I don't know who kissed who first but i really enjoyed it..I also was not very drunk or anything..i might have been buzzed but i knew ultimately what i was still doing. But i was probably more open with my words than i should have been.

 

Things got somewhat physical but nothing where i need to have a test done or anything..my clothes stayed on;his didn't for the most part.. i remained strong with my will power not to sleep with him even though i wanted to.

 

Ii touched his face while we kissed, kissed his neck. When we were laying on the bed and i sat up to look at him he was being sweet..he kept playing with my hair and pushing it out of my face and tucked it behind my ear..he did say that he was concerned about me the past few days and i said well ur the only one..noone else notices and he said maybe they aren't looking(i don't know why i even said that but i guess its how i felt so i said it)...i also said to him well i guess you are attracted to me. He joked later saying good for me with my willpower lol..i was also pretty guarded not letting him do certain things like take my top off etc..and was nervous as well i guess which he pointed out but not in a mean way. He just said you are nervous.

 

We spoke about how the next day was going to be and he said it is going to be weird and he almost feels bad but he gets the sense i wanted to come here tonight too and it wasn't just him and i agreed..and he said but i will come in, in the morning and say what i always say to you and you will say the same. When laying down he did kissed my forehead once, he did tell me i am very pretty.

 

I think i hinted at wanting to hang out again or talk etc but i don't think he was completely open like ok here is my number lets hang out again soon which kind of disappointed me and maybe it made me look like an idiot as well. He also said it was a surprise when we saw the two coworkers remaining and he will probably be asked questions the next day or something.

 

The next day we came in like normal..he said the things he usually said to me..later on he asked if we were cool and i said yea..when i left i said goodnight to him and the person he shares the room with but as walking by we locked eyes for that second.

 

Well there was another coworker outing recently but this place is a little different where there isn't any beer pong etc..so it is everyone sitting around/standing around talking.

 

I did sit next to him at times but it was still like a group thing so we didn't really get to openly talk about what happened or anything. I did feel a little disappointed.

 

Another thing that happened was i ran into a few guys i know from my neighborhood who are more my brothers friends. So i went over to say hi and spoke with them for about 20 minutes or so. Maybe he saw that and just didn't care or maybe he was a little jealous. I am guessing it was the first one. I went back to my area and after awhile those guys were getting ready to leave but while passing by one stopped so i came over to see what he had to say and then the other passed (at this point i think the guy i like saw this because it was in the area of our coworkers) and they were saying i am welcome to come to the next place and i said ok, i will text them.

 

I didn't leave my coworkers for another hour. We wound up at a club and i felt like it would be awkward to dance with him so we kind of avoided each other and danced with other coworkers. I took a break for awhile. A little while later he came over and put his arm around me and this other person. But still he could have tried talking to me more in private at this point or something right? Or if he was really curious maybe he would asked who those guys were. I kind of got fed up a little..while on the dance floor i noticed he went to the mens room. At that point i decided to leave and said goodbye went to hang out with those other guys and feel more relaxed i guess. So i didn't get to say goodbye to my crush but i guess it wouldn't have matted anyway right?

 

I guess maybe i need to let this crush go? what am i supposed to do? sit in his lap so he knows i like him? lol

[Bunney]

ugh I know this too well. Spending time with a guy connecting really well and at the end of the day he does not make the impression that he wants things to develop. Guys can be sooo complicated and confusing!

 

well I'm really not sure what kind of advice to give you - do you still get the feeling that there is something between you there, or is he giving any signs? Maybe he's not sure about how you feel either and thus indecisive about asking you out on a date. He might have gotten the feeling that you are uncomfortable with what happened between you guys and is trying to be respectful.

 

If you like him you should make a move. Ask him if he'd like to do something with you outside of work. Get to know eachother. Just make sure you will do something soon, don't wait for him to do something, you will regret it when it's too late. Don't waste time, life's too short for that. Use all your chances.