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The tears are flowing


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Hey most know my story on here.

 

Its been nearly three months since the BU. wow time has flown

 

i dunno today after being stood up for a date its really hit hime how many jerks there are out there.and for me I really feel I may never meet anybody unless I leave where I live.

I gave the dating a week or so of a break, but took a date this week.and I shouldn't have.

 

i found a new place to live in my city some 7 weeks after the split but it isn';t really working.I still come home and have no partner and I still have nobody to love.

Its just empty and not so comforting.

 

I think maybe i should leave my state and my city.i still have memories of my ex ehere. I wish I had thought of this really early post breakup its only just really hitting me now, how I can't even live in the freakin city I was bloody well born in.

 

I have cried so much today and i have no real idea why... its now three months

 

the reality really is harsh and I don't know what is going to happen to me

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The big problem is that you have made the reason for existing, the reason for coming home at night, the reason for being in this city...all about your ex. Why not take back ownership of your life. If you don't want to come home to an empty apartment then get a dog or cat. Enjoy having the place to yourself, not having to share your space. Enjoy the feeling of being able to stretch out over the entire bed and not have to deal with someone snoring or hogging the sheets. Relish your alone time. The big problem is you rushed out dating because you wanted to find a replacement so you won't be alone. You need to first ENJOY being alone, get used to being alone, not be so desperate to find a replacement. Right now you are looking for a rebound because you are afraid to be alone. In life we are very often alone. Get used to that feeling so that when you find someone it will be because you really want THAT person, not because you need someone to fill a void.

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There is nothing wrong with wanting someone to share things in life with, but as you are still feeling so down, I think it is way too soon and as CAD said, you're rushing it because you don't want to feel alone.

 

I know exactly how you feel but for me, the thought of having someone else right now turns my stomach, even though I don't really like being alone either. But I will stay that way until I am ready or until I meet someone who I think is worth spending time on.

 

I had a peek at dating sites and they really do make me sick. I find it hard to believe anything anyone writes in the profiles, I find the men look seedy and I wonder what they are after. I'm sure there are some decent people on there but not many at all.

 

I'd take a break from it. You don't want to end up with someone just for the sake of it only to have it not work out or get to a point where you realise he wasn't what you were really looking for.

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Sunday, Crazy is right. You've got to redefine everything. You can't have a dog or cat? So what - get a violin or guitar and learn how to play it. Get out there and volunteer for a non-profit for which you have passion. Take ballroom dance classes. Join a book or film club - or start one. Introduce yourself to someone new every day.

 

That is your town, jerks and all. But not all of them are jerks. You can't find love or good companionship by going on a hunt. Like life, it happens while you're doing other things. Go out and do lots of new things. Get so busy you don't know how you're going to keep track of it all. Own that town!

 

If you make you goal to become the most well-known, best liked person in town, you're going to be fighting for oxygen from the crowd of people surrounding you. Everyone will want to know you when you're warm and caring and fun.

 

And the guy who stood you up...make sure he and your ex are the only two you don't consider your friends.

 

Go find fun. Forget love. It's not all it's cracked up to be, anyway.

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