Help! I have a big mess to sort out!

[whatdidIdo]

So here's the deal.....basically I have a best friend that has liked me for over a year but during this year he was out of country. If you were to look at us in we are a perfect match (i.e. music, travel, thoughts about the world, EVERYTHING for real!), but I don't think I'm physically attracted to him. I'm into sports and activity and he really isn't. He recently got back to the states and he came up to visit me. During his time away he emailed me telling me his feelings and I turned him down in the best way possible. We didn't talk about the email or our feeling towards each other that night.

But a few days later I went to visit him in his town and go to a Reggae concert. (I also meet his parents and they were perfect and he was so good with mine as well earlier in the week). So the concert was super romantic and we ended up out on a boat landing talking about our feelings. At first I told him I had to give him the answer he didn't want to hear.

 

This is where the trouble starts......He wouldn't give in and I got so nervous that I basically started blabbing everything I knew he wanted to hear (like I would date u but college...or we are actuallly perfect blah blah). But I managed to say I didn't want to date while in college cause the next few yrs are going to be too intense and I would ruin it. He is willing to wait he said and it began to rain. I mean this would have been a dream if I was into him. We started kissing and I didn't feel much but we kept at it. We walked back to his house and some of his friends saw us holding hands. I mean I MESSED UP! We fooled around a lil at his house and omg he straight up loves me!!! I can't believe it happened but I think I was in love with the attention and the mental him........I'm freaking out. I know I can't live without him in my life but I don't think I'm attracted to him?????!!!! My friends say ride it out but he is such a good person I can't believe I of all people did this to him. He even has trips planned for us to go overseas together!!! Please I know I sound like the worst person in the world right now but I'm not it was just the night and how badly he wanted me...I wanted to give him that but it's just not there for me!!!

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Keep in mind too I still have my V-card at age 19 and he emailed me his feelings only like 4 or 5 months ago then just got back a week ago so we moved from best friends to whatever we are now in like basically two nights!! I did this to him and yet I know I can't hurt him because I care too much about him and I would never hear from him again if I told him I just f'd with his heart like that! I mean I wouldn't if some guy did that to me!!! Ugh!

[Xylitol]

Your not being consequent , if you don't have these feelings for him, then don't try to eat from the benefits either. You can't go to the concert with him, and avoid contact. Because one thing leads to another, if you say the wrong things into the right ear. Then you get a domino effect of the things that you EXACTLY dont want to happen.

 

Look, you are an independent woman, who can decide her future for herself and who you want to be with.

 

It was an extreme blunder to kiss him, because you've got a male who's hopelessly in love with you. Cut off contact 1000% , say that you apologize but that you don't feel the same way ,and that what happened was a result of him pushing himself onto you and that you didn't spark or connect to him in the same way, and that you regret that you leaded him on, and that unfortunately you want to follow your heart and move on with your life. Goodbye.

 

That and NEVER EVER CONTACT AGAIN, not with his parents, not with him, never. Otherwhise your just going to be dragged into the same black hole again and put in a place were you don't want to be. Listen to my advice:

 

Life is like a bus, if you notice that you are going into a direction that you don't want to be , get off and take a bus that brings you to a place where you DO want to be. You don't want misery so GET OFF!.

[DN]

You have to tell him the truth and accept the consequences. To do otherwise is just adding one wrong to another.