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Really not sure what to make of this girl..


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I will say that it seems a little odd to be posting, but hopefully this may yield some helpful advice as I find myself in an odd spot..

So.. I work with this girl, and over the last while we've become more friendly, and of late she's been asking me personal questions.. how many siblings, where were u born etc, we have good fun and laughs together.. But, the other day, she told me that a couple years ago she met the guy she IS GOING to marry, they are only friends.. for now?, but that just sucked to hear.. BLAAHHH, what a dagger!

So I suppose ultimately a girl's point of view on this would be great, is she still emotionally available, am i stupid to go after her.. again.. BLAHHH, just so confused, I think she's incredible.. do girls like that.. if I just tell her she's incredible and don't want to miss the chance of being with her?

I really like her, and am very happy to continue to grow a great friendship with her, but at the same time, I'd hate to look back on a missed opportunity with a great girl..

Any advice is appreciated.




The confused guy

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If she is telling you she met the guy she is going to marry, and they're just friends or acquaintances, it means that is a fantasy that's in her head only. That to me says she has issues she has to deal with in regards to this guy. She may think she is in love with him, that they're meant to be, that he will realize it one day if she works on it, etc. She could be obsessed with him and the idea of doing whatever possible to be with him. So, having said that, if you still want to confess how you feel and see what she says, go for it--just know that she might shoot you down or try things with you only to tell you she wants the other guy. If you can take rejection and still be friends with her, then that's ok. Be aware of the risks, but take them if you want to.

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To me, it sounds like you are in the friend zone. If I were comfortable with a guy and considered him a good friend, I would talk about things like the fact that I met my future husband. If I had romantic feelings for a guy, I would never ever say anything like that as it would hurt my chances of being with him.


That's not to say, however, that she won't ever have romantic feelings for you. I have dated several guy friends who at first I placed in the friend zone. Later, as time went on and I became closer to them, I realized that they would make great boyfriends.

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