divorce, hurt, pain, sorrow, infidelity

[dlogic]

my soon to be ex wife was always a ball buster. its been just about 8 years and she filed for divorce a year ago. i never for one moment thought she would be unfaithful to me. we have 2 girls 4 and 6. for the last two years, she has been unbearable. before that, we had a relationship that worked, though it had lots of friction. she filed secretly on me and i found out via the newspaper. she was defensive and said she had told me she was. we tried to reconcile, but she just busted my balls more and more. she was micro managing everything i did every move. i gave her a $300,000 home, a nice car, 2 kids, private school, good family, vacations, a nice easy life. we split up again 6 months ago. i still supported the family fully, but a big hunk of life was missing after not being to be around my kids as much as before. the wife wants divorce BIG time, but she also wants and much greater chunk of assetts than i am willing to part with, and what i want to part with is very generous, but we have lawyers bickering. i took my 6 year old girl to greece to see family for 10 days. 5 days after getting there, my lawyer calls me to tell me that my wife has been seeing at least one guy for over two years and all the bull about my not being Mr Right was just that , BULL, as she had her own agenda and i wasnt in it. well, it bummed me out completely, my magical vacation went south major league. i am home now and just so bummed i cant sleep , eat, work. so depressed thinking maybe its not right, maybe she really wants me and she just cant admit she made a mistake. I know thats BULL that i am thinking, i just cant get outta this funk i am in. she has treated me so bad for years and i still loved her and still am upset that she has done this to me.

i gotta get over this and get strong for my children. i have a new place to live, but it only has a couch and a bed. thats all.

i have in this depressed mood 6 months now. and super depressed for a month and super super depressed for a week.

i am a good looking buy, fit, trim, good job, and i just cant seem to get on a roll. i have no enthusiasm, just wanna be like liquid and get horizontial.

how long can this last?

[neverthought]

I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.. You sound like you really had your stuff together, she was the one who messed up. Don't lose yourself in the middle of this. There are problems in marriages, but to lie, that is unbearable, and for her to lie for two years.

 

Please don't lose your trust in women, we are not all like that.

 

But you seem to have a lot to offer.. And hopefully you can walk away learning something.. like family time is so important, all the $$ in the world can't buy that.

 

It does hurt, I've been there. It also goes away with time, but the only was for it to go away is to make it. You didn't lose here, she did. You are letting her win if you give up. Being depressed is SO normal, but it's also OK for you to move on. Get out there. The right relationship is going to come along. But for now, recognize what you are worth!

[Fancy111]

You sound like a wonderful guy, who has run into some bad times, but they to shall pass. Hold on to the reassurance that what goes around comes around, and when they do, she will realize what she has given up.

 

I agree you should definitely get out and make friends, nothing to serious, just people to hang and talk to that will show you that life is worth living. Your ex- is just one of the bad seeds, but there are plenty of good women who would love a guy like you. Invest alot of your energy in your daughter, that will help keep your focus.

 

Hold your head up high, and be the man you know that you can be, strong, confident, and self-assured.

[Tif007]

She wants all that because she is MATERIALISTIC!!! You have her on adultry - your Lawyer even said that. Some people it would not bother to file on that, but alot of people do. That is a part of public record and remains there for your life.

 

As for what one reader posted by saying it was OK b/c you went into a strip club and didn't know the stripper, but it was NOT OK for her b/c she knew the guy and it was "different" - that is BS. That is a double standard! Both of you were wrong and that is that. (Although the level of contact was different, does not make it right).

 

Try to stay strong for your girls right now, they need you and need to know that you will be there for them. I wish you the best of luck.

 

SMILE IT MAKES PEOPLE WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TOO.