Question about Loving your parents

[Perfectly x Flawed]

 

 

All right, here's my ... issue.

 

I'm 16 years old, and for as long as I can remember, it's always been me and my mom, because my dad was always working. (It's still that way, mind you.) And I've always loved her, and been a total Momma's girl. But in this past year, I've had a friend die -It's been over a year now, by a few days.- And I've grown apart from my whole family. I stay in my room, and don't associate with anybody.

 

And it seems my love for my mother has... disappeared. Just thinking about seeing her makes me want to vomit (And I'm NOT proud of it.)

The scary part (I suppose?) Is, is that I don't know whether or not I care if my Love for her comes back or not.

 

Anyone know if you really ever stop loving someone? Or if the bond between a Mother and Daughter that were seemingly close before, just kind of fades until something strike it back up again?

 

Honestly, I don't know what's right, what's wrong, or how I feel. And it bugs me.

[JohnnyRingo]

the death of your friend seems to be the cause of your loss of love for your mom. you usually dont just stop loving someone, something had to have happened whether your aware of it or not. was she there to support you when you needed her. if nothing happened then it might just be depression or sumthing like that. it wouldnt hurt to get some therapy, and dont think therapy is just to nut cases. its essential to humans to express their emotions whether it be writing them down or talking to someone about them. thats all i can think of now. Good luck!

[Perfectly x Flawed]

Thank you, Johnny, I've been on Zoloft for the last three months, and it seems to be helping somewhat. But my shrink -was- the nut case.

 

xD Thank you for your help, though.

[dikaia880]

Sorry to hear of the death of your friend, it can and is a very hard thing to go through. One thing to remember is that most people your age go through a period of not "loving" their parents...it's normal, and that love isn't gone (you obviously care if your writing about it) you'll find that love again...It takes understanding on both your part and your mother's part that this is something that is normal...I love my parents to death, but when I was about your age I couldn't stand being around them...

 

As JohnnyRingo mentions, therapy can be a great help, especially with the loss of you friend. A therapist isn't for nut jobs, they can help you deal with emotions, help you understand why you might feel the way you do...and overall help you live a better life...I tend to think of a therapist as more of a counselor/mentor than a shrink....Give it a try you'll be happy you did I'm sure...

 

Best of luck!

[kuhl282000]

Hello

 

I takes work from both people to keep closeness alive. I'm sure you mother loves you very much (even if she can't show it) .....she may feel you have pulled away. And if you have not been around sounds like to me you have. You have a choice to say the right things in the future, and get closer again. i'm sure your mom would like that. Sorry arout your friend, that is really sad. But that should not have anything to do with your mom. Maybe you just need some time to you to morn and reflect. You can tell you mom your sorry you have not been in contact, I'm sure she would understand what you are going through. It is up to you to make the change, take a baby step and test the water and see what happens.

 

Good luck

 

Kuhl

 

8) 8)

[Francis]

I don't think you should worry about your feelings so much : When people go through a period of suffering, sometimes their feelings become numb : it is like a defence mechanism. You still love your mom very much, but you just don't experience that feeling as before.

 

On the other hand, you are going through a period in your life where your own instincts are pushing you away from your parents. You are becoming an adult and a sexual entity.

 

Let me give you an example : I found this baby pigeon and he was really young (no feathers). I took it home, washed it, feed it, put him to "bed". He really thought I was his mommy. He followed me around all over the house. When I was in the shower, he would wait outside. He followed me like my shade and never approached "strangers" not even other members of my family. He would attack everybody else.

 

However, when my baby pigeon reached adolescence (his voice changed practically over night) his behaviour also changed drastically. He did not want my company anymore, he followed everybody else in the family and liked particularly "strangers" who came to visit and, on top of that, he attacked me ! I did not take it personally : he was just growing and becoming an adult.

 

Nature has provided us with particular instincts that make us distance ourselves from our parents when we become sexually mature, probably to avoid incest.

 

So don't worry about your feelings and don't feel guilty. All this will pass.

 

Take care!

[Rahll]

Lets look at this from a different point of view.

 

You were very close to your mom.

You were very close to your friend.

You lost your friend.

You experianced a lot of pain from it.

You dont want to experiance that pain again.

You know that you cant stop your mom from dieing, just like you couldnt stop your friend from dieing.

If your not close to your mom, you won't be as pained by it if she dies.

 

I agrree that its more likely that you are just going through the normal period where you grow apart from your parents, the fact that you realize it, is quite amazing, and shows that it will come back.

 

However, I would still talk to your psychatrist about it.