A lot on my mind... please share some input.

[mountainman89]

This may end up being a long story, but I'll keep it short & thank you so much for reading.

 

I am a 21 year old college student, who doesn't know how to love, or if I can anymore. I have learned & lost so much, & I have made some of the biggest mistakes of my life in the last year.

 

Almost two years ago, I met a wonderful girl whom I will call Rochelle whom I quickly fell for. Previous to that, I had been dumped in a very cold hearted fashion which left me a complete & total wreck. I guess you could say Rochelle was my savior. From the beginning though, I found myself back & forth on whether or not I wanted to be in a relationship. On one hand, I cared deeply for the girl, but on the other hand I couldn't stand being tied down. I was more or less suffocated by this girl's immense love for me.

 

After about a year, I ended our relationship & broke her heart even though I still cared about her.

 

About 1-2 months later, I ended up dating another girl whom I will call Annie. It was very stupid of me to enter another relationship, & I did it way too soon. Long story short, I went from dating Rochelle, who cared deeply about me & wanted to be the center of my world, to Annie, who was annoyed that I liked her as much as I did. So, after about a month of dealing with her crap, I ended it as fast as it had begun. It broke my heart to do so, but the whole time I had dated her, she broke my heart with her complete pessimism with our relationship.

 

Rochelle & I had tried to make things work again, but she still suffocated me & I decided to not reenter our relationship together.

 

Since then, about six months have passed where I have been single. I have gone on a few dates, but haven't had the desire to date any of these girls. A few weeks ago I met a girl whom I will call Kim, who I think I'm interested in. Well, more than think I guess, she is absolutely gorgeous & cool, but I'm a little confused by how she has been acting.

 

So far we have hung out twice... the first night we went to a little festival called "Art in the Park," where basically vendors sell their artwork, & there is live music. She lives about a half hour away, so I made the drive & met her there. As soon as I arrived, to my surprise she hugged me. Unfortunately, she had decided to bring a friend. Things were great, & we had a lot of fun. It seemed like she spent a lot of time laughing at my shenanigans, & when we parted we hugged again & had talked about grabbing sushi.

 

Well, I called her a couple days later, & told her how much fun I had with her & attempted to plan our sushi date, but she explained how busy she was going to be (which she explained what she had to do this week). I told her to give me a call when she wanted to get together.

 

Well, later that night she gave me a call & invited me to watch a movie at the drive in. I arrived, only to find that she had invited her friend again (ugh). Don't get me wrong, her friend is a very nice person, but I would like the time to get to know her on my own. She sat on my lap in her friend's truck, & we enjoyed the movie together. When the movie was over she walked me to my truck, where we kind of awkwardly talked for a minute while her friend more or less stared at us from the vehicle (fml). I would really have liked to kiss her, but obviously not while her friend stared at us. Anyway, we hugged again, & decided to make plans again.

 

Fast forward to today, & I had called her to let her know I was going to be in town Thursday, & that we could grab that sushi we had talked about. She explained that she was supposed to be going camping this weekend, & wasn't sure if she was going to be leaving Thursday or Friday. I told her that I would be in town anyway, & if she couldn't that was fine, but it would be great if we could get together.

 

That's where I am now... it's all sort of confusing to me. I haven't been nervous about a girl in quite some time, & its driving me nuts! I've had my heart broken so many times, it scares me what I am doing right now. I am certainly attracted to Kim. I would really like to get to know her better, but the signs she is showing points in both directions.

 

What do I do, & how can I handle the way I am feeling right now? What do you think of my situation at the moment?

 

Thanks!

[Seymore]

I believe the Girls of Spice once said "If thou wouldst be my lover, thou best get with my friends"

 

If you get along well enough with her friend, Kim might be a little more trusting and open to you suggesting that the two of you plan a time alone together, because it sounds like she keeps a friend along to feel more comfortable. I think you should be up-front with her and tell her that you like her and would like to know her thoughts on you and on a date, just the two of you.

[mountainman89]

I believe the Girls of Spice once said "If thou wouldst be my lover, thou best get with my friends"

 

If you get along well enough with her friend, Kim might be a little more trusting and open to you suggesting that the two of you plan a time alone together, because it sounds like she keeps a friend along to feel more comfortable. I think you should be up-front with her and tell her that you like her and would like to know her thoughts on you and on a date, just the two of you.

 

Gosh, that was sure fast! Now that I think about that... it doesn't sound like too bad of a plan, but should I wait to see if she follows through with our sushi rendezvous on Thursday?

 

The mixed signals are driving me nuts... yes, she wants to go, but she may go camping? What the crap?

 

Thanks again.

[Seymore]

Gosh, that was sure fast! Now that I think about that... it doesn't sound like too bad of a plan, but should I wait to see if she follows through with our sushi rendezvous on Thursday?

 

The mixed signals are driving me nuts... yes, she wants to go, but she may go camping? What the crap?

 

Thanks again.

 

Seeing as how she took you up on the last two times, I would assume she really is going camping and is unsure of when she's leaving. If I were in your position, I would start to let her make the plans. You've put yourself out there. See what effort she is willing to contribute.

[stay_positive]

OMG I love Seymore's quote lol! Sadly true. When I started seeing my new boyfriend, i was very weary of it and brought friends. No, it wasn't fair to me, but I felt a lot more comfortable. You should tell her up front that you want to get to know her when you're alone. It sounds like she likes you, just chill and take it day by day. Wish you the best

[Seymore]

If it does happen to be that she's uncomfortable without her friends, maybe suggest a very public place to spend time, just the two of you. For all you know, she might have been mugged by a previous guy she went on an alone-date with.

[mountainman89]

Seeing as how she took you up on the last two times, I would assume she really is going camping and is unsure of when she's leaving. If I were in your position, I would start to let her make the plans. You've put yourself out there. See what effort she is willing to contribute.

 

Your reassurance helps me. I will do this from now on... thank you.

 

OMG I love Seymore's quote lol! Sadly true. When I started seeing my new boyfriend, i was very weary of it and brought friends. No, it wasn't fair to me, but I felt a lot more comfortable. You should tell her up front that you want to get to know her when you're alone. It sounds like she likes you, just chill and take it day by day. Wish you the best

 

I did laugh pretty hard when I saw that quote too. Hopefully our next meeting will be alone. If not, I will express my desire to spend time alone with her.

 

Thank you!

 

If it does happen to be that she's uncomfortable without her friends, maybe suggest a very public place to spend time, just the two of you. For all you know, she might have been mugged by a previous guy she went on an alone-date with.

 

I had these thoughts too... you never know whether or not she was a victim of date rape or something which is why I have been fine with meeting her friends. If I must ask to spend time alone with her, I will suggest a public place.

 

Thanks!

[stay_positive]

The public place is a good idea. I'm pretty sure things will work out ;-) She is interested. Just ease into it

[mountainman89]

The public place is a good idea. I'm pretty sure things will work out ;-) She is interested. Just ease into it

 

I like the name... it is a good reminder. I guess if she wasn't interested, she wouldn't be talking to me?

 

This would be our third "date," & we haven't kissed. This is a bit odd for me... should I be worried?

[stay_positive]

I wouldn't worry because like you said, her friend has been there so it puts up an awkward wall. The only reason I happened to kiss my guy was we had some alone time. Just go with the flow. Hopefully you find out soon when she is leaving for her camping trip

[mountainman89]

Omg. I hate being so nervous!

[mountainman89]

So, she canceled.

 

She explained that her friend was leaving for three weeks, & she really wanted to spend some time with her before she left. She said, "next week would be much better." She apologized, & said that she was "really looking forward to it," & that she she would explain her friend's situation sometime if I was interested.

 

I just replied & told her that it was fine, & to let me know when she wants to go. Then I told her to have a safe weekend.

 

Ugh.

 

:sad:

[Seymore]

No ugh. This is good. She canceled but did suggest another time. She could have said "Sorry, I'm canceling" and that's it, right? Don't be too down about this. Wait and see. You handled everything right by saying to let YOU know when she wants to go. Well played.

[stay_positive]

Keep us updated. Sorry she canceled but hopefully she'll make it up to you