Can someone give me some opinions??

[Calvin Ong]

This girl that I like is currently unattached.She is a wonderful person. However, I always the first to sms or ask if I could call her. Cos she told me to inform her before calling her, thinks her dad is very strict with her. Anyway, sometimes she does sms me but it is very seldom. But she never fails to reply my sms or allow me to call her. If she is busy and cannot talk on the phone, she will tell me. If she seldoms sms me but I am the one who sms her most of the time, am I wrong to think that I do not stand a chance with her?? Or is she trying to hint to me not to call or sms her anymore??

[JohnnyRingo]

ok i had a similar situation, heres the deal. girls like to play games with men. if you IM her a lot she will think your needy and she wont IM you. if you wait a while and only talk to her when SHE IMs you then she will probably IM you more. just only talk to her when she IMs you ok. trust me, worked for me. i think you stand a chance with her so good luck

[Calvin Ong]

What if I do not IM her and she does not IM me at all?? How often IM her is considered too often?? Sorry this is my first time going after a girl, really do not know such stuff. Haha. Hope u all do not find me troublesome.

[JohnnyRingo]

ok well trust me on this one. dont IM her at all, any time is too often. let her IM you. only talk to her when she IMs you. if she has any feelings at all for you she WILL IM you. and if she doesnt IM soon just wait it out. if it goes on for a long time. call her. be spontaneous but call her when you know she wont be busy and her dad wont get mad. if her dad asks why your calling just say you need help with school stuff. do what i say and youll have a better chance. itl be hard not to IM her but you can do it!

[Calvin Ong]

I have a bad feeling bout this. Haha. Really hard not to IM her. I will try. Haha. What bout in sch?? I am not in the same class as her. Haha. Think it shouldn't bea problem.

[JohnnyRingo]

womens minds dont work the same way as mens if you havnt already figured that out. if you IM her a lot she may think your "needy" as in you need someone to be in a relationship with and women dont like needy men. they like the cool laid back hard to get men. so by not IMing her your basicaly saying that you can go a week or however long it takes her to IM you without IMing her. your becoming harder to get. she has to take the initiative to come after you. and if you keep not IMing her first and she always IMs you first then your getting somewhere. that means she has some feelings for you. if she doesnt IM that just may mean shes really busy or she doesnt have feelings for you. just give it a try. dont IM her!!! only talk to her when she IMs you. good luck man

[dude123]

Johnny's right lol. The more you ignore them the more you make it look like you don't really care the more they want you. Just listen to what he says. He's right about it, ask anyone.

[Calvin Ong]

She does IM me sometimes. Like she cannot get to sleep or she is bored. However, she haven IM me this week maybe it could be because the exams are nxt wk and she is busy preparing for it.

[JohnnyRingo]

thats almost definitely it. just dont talk to her unless she IMs you. stick to the plan and you will thank yourself later.

[Calvin Ong]

Thxs for all yr help!! Hope everything turns out all right!! =)

[JohnnyRingo]

Good luck!

[Celadon]

Calvin, she probably likes you some or she wouldn't IM you at all. But, if her dad is strict, and she's really obedient, then you can't expect her to show a whole lot of interest or initiate much. Is her dad even allowing her to date?

 

Another thing may be -- if she has dated in the past -- that she doesn't have a strong opinion of you yet. Have you really let her know who you are? Do you guys talk about things you like in common? Try those things, so she can get to know the real you.

[bruind]

i have a different view on this one. maybe because im a woman.

 

i disagree when u guys said that he should stop IMing her, and just wait for her to IM you.

 

sometimes if we like a guy, yet we're too shy to approach or initiate with him. so we'll just wait for the guy to make the move.

 

in ur case, if you stop calling and IMing her, then she might probably think that you've lost interst in her. so she wont do any move either.

 

in my opinion, i suggest that u still continue with what you're doing, but keep it to a minimal, so she wouldnt think ur too needy. put intervals on ur SMS and calls.

 

just my thoughts...

[orange blood]

I think some of the people are right(at least in my case).

 

Once I found out this girl's IM name and she slightly found out mine(well she was on in class and I asked her about it, joking about the name she had, then she wanted to know what kind of screenname I had), I wanted to IM, but I was still kinda of afraid to talk to her over IM.

Then after a couple of days I just got the courage to IM her, and she remembered it was me and we spoke for over an hour.

 

(deleted bunch of details here....yeah...this is the short version...)

 

So basically at first we would talk for awhile, but me constantly IMing her kind got me on her bad side. She never really IMed me, and I used that to convince myself to stop IMing her. When she finally IMed me, I was basically over my crush with her(which I wanted cause I liked her alot and she had like this power over me she probably never knew she had), so it was easier after that to not try and talk to her every single second. I still like her in a way, but not as much or the same way as I did. More like a "friend" now.

 

I last spoke to her about 3 weeks ago. I ended the conversation on good terms, before the convo could go into the "conversation should have ended 10minutes ago" area. I see her online, and a part of me wants to go say "hello", but I know I shouldn't. I also know she sees me online, and if she wanted to IM she would. I probably won't try to IM her until like the week before school starts. i might try after the fouth of july.

I know trying to talk to her everyday is bad, as we only were able to talk for the first week good before it just seemed i was bothering her. Spacing out our conversations is the only thing that seems to work.

 

Oh yeah, she's one of those girls with a strict father that won't let her date or talk to guys(on the phone/over internet). Her only relationship this year was strictly at school and hidden from her father. I think they broke up cause they were hardly seeing each other anymore because of it.

[Calvin Ong]

How often is smsing her too often?? If I could I would like to talk or sms her everyday. I now only sms her like once in 3 or 4 days. I am always scared she will find me annoying. I am not in the same class with her. But she will always smile at me when we see each other.

[orange blood]

You could try every other day.

But every single day does seem a bit needy unless your close friends, it will probbaly push her away.

 

She's still smiling, so just continue every 3 to 4 days. Seems to be a good number. It's distanced, but still close together.

[Calvin Ong]

So you are saying once three to four days are too close. What do u suggest?? I hav no problems talking to her. Onli some times I am tongue tied. It ok to be tongue tied sometimes right?

[orange blood]

All I meant was every 3 or 4 days is good.

Some girls don't like it when you don't IM them for days, and some girls don't like it when you IM them every single day, it's a good median of the two.

 

I guess it's ok to be tongue tied sometimes, but not everytime. I think a girl would like a man who can talk to her, not one who can't get word word out.

[Calvin Ong]

I am sorry if I sound stupid or blur. This is my first time going after a girl. Do not know much stuff and do not want to screw things up. Got any other advice to give or what I shoud do? Maybe what to look out for?? Thxs.

[orange blood]

Well I'm just re-read all the posts. (I posted two links at the bottom, you might just want to skip all this post about me and my situation, and goto those links)

 

I'm not exactly the most qualified guy to be giving advice on dating, or this particular one. I deleted most of it cause it was long, but on my first post in this topic I said I was once in a similar situation. I had liked this girl all year, and then one month this year wanted her IM screename so I could talk to her afterschool(we had a two classes together on b-days, plus we both had AP biology so that required time afterschool and saturdays to learn and review stuff).

I could never get the courage to ask for her screename. It was kinda easy for me to talk to her since we have spent so much time together complaining about classes(we had the wost english teahcer, and biology is just a hard class) but I have never really talked to people on the phone or over IM 'cept for a few, so I'm not the most comfortable person in asking for a number or e-mail or whatever.

By some sorta weird way that sometimes happens to me, I got her screenname one day. Even thoguh i had it I couldn't drum up the courage to IM her, though I could still talk to her offline. But one day I finally did it and we were able to talk for over an hour. But I constantly tried doing it for like a week.

And there lied my downfall. I IMed her too much. She would just give me that "i don't want to talk to you" vibe over IM after that first week. So I just stopped. We were still able to talk to each other in class and in the halls, but I kinda messed myself up from talking to her online, even thoguh I learned more stuff about her in that week online then I have the two years I've known her.

That was like the last week of April. then When May started her friends(most I knew from class) were joking around with her, and then I joined in on it, got a laugh from people but then she just looked at me as she was leaving. After that she basically shunned me from her life. She would not talk or speak to me('cept for maybe a comment) for almost the entire month.

Well one day, like the day before our last class together for the year, she just IMed me(the first time she ever had). I jokingly said "so your talking to me now" and she was like "huh" and then i explained the whole situation to her. She then explained to me that I was just the last straw that day, the wrong person at the wrong place and time(I actually didn't know what I actually did to upset her until she told me here). Then for some reason goes off on that she's now one less person I have to worry about, which was weird, but then....ah I'm getting off subject here.

 

 

 

I don't know what signs you should be looking for. Some people are just friendly, like one girl I know who smiles and says hi to me when I'm goign to class or when we have are one class together. She invited me to help her out with her church, and I did it, but haven't seen her since, because, I just didn't have the courage to ask for her number or e-mail.

But at least I know she's just friendly with me and nothing more(she's nice to practically everone, just nicer to some). And i like her as a friend.

 

But sometimes I think the fates are just having fun with me. Since I had more than a couple crushes going on at the same time, some just developing, others turning into liking them more as friends . And there was a different situation in each one, and they were all really developing in the last month before school was out, when I started to be more myself. But it being the last month, there wasn't as much time as I would have hoped.

 

1. was the IM girl. Like More As a Friend.

2. was a girl who I sat next to in 7th and 8th period, and was basically the only girl I have ever really felt comfortable around that I liked. She was also hyper. She would say hi to me in the mornings. She would alos include me in the groups we formed for class projects. She was basically the only one who I liked as a friend and that grew into a crush instead of the other way around.

3. was the shy/quiet girl who was friendly towards everyone. She would say hi to me in our one class, and when in the halls. LMAF

4. was this girl who I never thought knew I existed but the last month of school sat next to be in english and included me in her the "study" groups we had to form to study for english and other APs duirng english. She also started saying hi to me each morning. We would also talk during lunch. LMAF

 

There were smaller ones, but those were my bigger happenings going on at once in one month. I think it was too much for one person to handle who never really thoguht anyone sincerely enjoyed his company.

 

See this is an example of my longer posts.

 

 

You can read all the signs you want. Some might be directed to you. I personally don't like seeing signs as my mind just thinks she's doing that to the guy behind me even if I'm leaning on a wall, and she doesn't have x-ray vision.

 

Here are links that I saw posted here like yesturday if your looking for signs:

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[1899]

"I personally don't like seeing signs as my mind just thinks she's doing that to the guy behind me even if I'm leaning on a wall, and she doesn't have x-ray vision. "

 

LOL, I feel that way too sometimes. Im afraid i may misinterpret them. Thats why I like to wait to see what she will say to me in her conversatuions before i get my hopes up.

[Calvin Ong]

She would always ask me to call her to ask about schoolwork. We are not even in the same class. Haha. Do you all think that this is a good sign? Hmm. Can talk to her for hours on the phone and never get bored.

[Lily04]

yeah that's a good sign =) I would say that she likes you, but is probably just nervous because of her strict parents. My sister was in a similar situation & just never told my parents about their relationship..she'd just say she's going to the mall or whatever, when they'd go on dates..I guess your crush can do something similar, although if she's more obedient than my sis (who isn't really at all) she might not be so up for it. Maybe ask her to do something with you (and a few friends if you want) and see how she reacts..maybe attend a school event, like a sports game or a play..start of sorta slow.

 

good luck!

[Calvin Ong]

My first time going after a girl. Really afraid I will screw things up. Any tips to tell me like what kind of things that I do will piss her off?

[RagingBull]

Gotta go with what JohnnyRingo said. Let her have a chance to do some chasing after you. Slowly pull back on number of times you IM her. She'll be forced to IM you back if she really likes you. If she doesn't then she was never really interested in you; then just leave her and move on. If she likes you she will try her best to try to reach you via IM.

 

Just because you like a girl doesn't mean she likes you. You need to start testing her soon before you become too emotionally involved (addicted) to this girl. Trust me on this.

 

My first time going after a girl. Really afraid I will screw things up. Any tips to tell me like what kind of things that I do will piss her off?

 

This already tells me that you will end up being too "nice" to her. This will make her have to worry about hurting your feelings and will definitely turn her off. Never look needy to a girl.

 

Whatever you you do, do not seek validation from a girl. Don't ask her what she thinks of you or what she thinks of how you're treating her.