Custody is finally settled!

[sandy cheeks]

After more than a year of threats, harassment, and games, the x finally realized that I wasn't going to cave. He made a last ditch effort to get me to honor the mediated agreement of joint custody without making it "legal". I.e., without having a judge sign it. ( I had signed it way back in Oct. of last year) I told him "no". He threatened to go to court and seek sole custody (again!), etc., etc., etc.

 

In the end, he signed it and took it before the judge. It went into effect at the end of June. He gets to see our son more in the summer, I get him more during the school year. Not quite 50/50 but damn close. Truth is, he actually gets more "time" with our son because he isn't in school during the summer. A good deal of the time he is with me, he is in school. That's ok though, that's what I wanted. More consistency during the school year.

 

Down side is, the agreement also called for an order of withholding to be filed for child support. It was filed the first week of July, but my lawyer informed me it could take up to two months to actually see any of the money that is to be withheld. And the x husband is taking full advantage of this delay. My lawyer says he is still responsible for paying support until the order takes effect. But of course, he isn't. I hope there is a way to collect back support. I'm going to need it to pay the over draft fees I've had as a result of this delay and the x's unwillingness to cooperate.

[DN]

Why is he paying child support if there is a more or less fifty-fifty custody arrangement? Does he earn considerably more than you and/or have less expenses?

[lostandhurt]

Well Sandy that is one less thing to have to deal with him on isn't it?

 

In the end all his crap meant nothing and it turned out just like you wanted.

 

The money thing is for the courts to force him to pay. You will have to prove he didn't pay you during those times and then they may withhold more.

 

DN, It goes by income and time. I could have my son 100% of the time and my ex would pay me $17.50 per month and if it were reversed I would pay her over $1,500 per month. Yes that is seventeen dollars and fifty cents!

 

It isn't right but it is the system we live under.

 

Now what Sandy? Can you begin to let some of the things go that have been controling your emotions?

 

Of course you can...

 

Lost

[sandy cheeks]

DN- Yes, he makes a great deal more than me. Four times as much.

Lost- Yes, I can. I'm working on it. The closer this divorce gets to finished the easier it gets.

 

Forgot to add... this is a mediated agreement. Child support was agreed upon by us, not desided by a judge. What the x pays comes out to about 11% of his gross income, 15% of his net.