This wasn't suppose to happen

[coolgirl]

I never in my life thought about dating anyone at all. And the reason I signed up on POF was just to get to know someone thats about it. I have had not thought about dating at all or to get back out there in the dating world because I knew for a fact I wan't ready because of going through my own mess. Yea, if it was something casual or something that would had been alot different because I was use to the fact of going out with men casually and nothing more. Until this recent guy showed up. Then it confused me alot into what I'm looking for. Cuz I always imagined that this was going to be a one time thing and he would leave and not hear from again cuz I am pretty much use to the fact that men taking off on me and not staying around, but eventually he did. Which confuses me even more because really I dont know what he see's in me. I do have my own issues, I have trust issues when it comes to men, I know for a fact that it will take alot out of me to get myself committed to anyone for that matter. And thats one reason I'm having a hard time getting along with anyone for that matter.

 

I want to be able to tell him that as well not to waste his time on me but at the same time I dont want too because I maybe getting rid of him being the one. We have a few things in common which rarley happens for me, he makes me laugh which I barley do. We have so much fun together and didnt have this much fun for such a long time. He's sweet, caring and could be able to talk through about everything and still I'm blinded by it.

Any man that does good to me I always have the tendency to screw it up. I am addressing the fact that yes I do have issues when it comes to men in general. And i know its not good and trying to work on it until I get back into counceling again and addressing the issue.

 

He was not suppose to come into my life and this situation being carried on for about a week. The longest I had a man staying was only 2 days and thats about it. And was use to that. I'm confused. Really confused. Even I dont know what I'm looking for anymore because I thought I had this planned out until he showed up. And now having a hard time getting out of it again. I thought I had this planned out but eventually this is backfiring in my face.

 

Why is this happening again ? Is there anyway I can get out of it and not hurt anyone here in the middle ? I'm stuck !

[KG]

Why not embrace it? I too had given up. 3 years of lonliness, then a bunch of failed/rotten dates. What happened 2 days later? The love of my life showed up. And it's been 10 months now.