If someone says:

[speak]

so, here is a question. Most people tell me this and a lot of people say it to eachother.

 

If someone I know that is close to me says, "Please let me know if there is anything I can help you with." What exactly do they mean? Are they just saying it to say it or saying it because they REALLY mean it?

[Puckdog27]

It means they are there for you when you need them to be.

[Hurting85]

My ex's mom offered to let me stay an extra night during a visit. I asked if she was sure. Her response: I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.

 

What you posted is one of those things people don't have to say. So I say take it at face value.

[speak]

My ex's mom offered to let me stay an extra night during a visit. I asked if she was sure. Her response: I wouldn't have said it if I didn't mean it.

 

What you posted is one of those things people don't have to say. So I say take it at face value.

 

Maybe I am slow at things but, what is face value? ha

[Puckdog27]

Maybe I am slow at things but, what is face value? ha

 

At face value. No hidden message, exactly what you see is what you get, what you hear is what it means.

[speak]

At face value. No hidden message, exactly what you see is what you get, what you hear is what it means.

 

got it! ! !

[mfan]

Please let me know if there is anything I can help you with.

I try not to use this phrase, since it is so often said out of "politeness" and without the intent to actually do any helping.

 

I prefer to say something like, "If you ever need to talk, you can call me anytime" or "Would you like me to do any errands for you or buy you some groceries or something like that?" It makes it easier for the other person to say yes.

 

If someone used that vague phrase to me, and I happened to really need their help, I suppose I would very meekly and apologetically say, 'I'm so sorry to bother you, but would you do me a huge huge favor and go to the drugstore and buy some cold medicine for me? I'm so sorry to ask you.'

 

Since they didn't really offer anything specific, I consider it still an imposition to ask for something specific.

[speak]

 

Since they didn't really offer anything specific, I consider it still an imposition to ask for something specific.

 

U mean, they want me to ask for something so that they will know what I need? Not that I need anything, just curious about the phrase itself.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Some people don't want to talk about things when going through hardtimes. So, people will say "just ask me if you need anything" to show them that they are there for support if and when they do want to talk about things.

 

I'm with mfan as I think saying it is often out of politeness. Typically what I say, when I really mean it is "you can always call me. Anytime of day or night, whatever you need...just call me and I'll come right on over". I feel that's more genuine and I completely mean it.

[pl3asehelp]

I try not to use this phrase, since it is so often said out of "politeness" and without the intent to actually do any helping.

 

I prefer to say something like, "If you ever need to talk, you can call me anytime" or "Would you like me to do any errands for you or buy you some groceries or something like that?" It makes it easier for the other person to say yes.

 

If someone used that vague phrase to me, and I happened to really need their help, I suppose I would very meekly and apologetically say, 'I'm so sorry to bother you, but would you do me a huge huge favor and go to the drugstore and buy some cold medicine for me? I'm so sorry to ask you.'

 

Since they didn't really offer anything specific, I consider it still an imposition to ask for something specific.

 

Yeah, I had an ex that used to say stuff like this to everyone, including me. It got to be an entertaining game for me to actually take her up on her ridiculous offers, just to prove how insincere they were. People can say this just to 'sound' nice or because they like to think of themselves that way.

[speak]

Some people don't want to talk about things when going through hardtimes. So, people will say "just ask me if you need anything" to show them that they are there for support if and when they do want to talk about things.

 

Yeah, well I have been going through a lot lately. My Father passed away almost two months ago and I just have been dealing with a LOT more than I ever have been. So, I have been open to talking about my rough times with this person which is why someone saying that to me sort of came out of nowhere.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Yeah, well I have been going through a lot lately. My Father passed away almost two months ago and I just have been dealing with a LOT more than I ever have been. So, I have been open to talking about my rough times with this person which is why someone saying that to me sort of came out of nowhere.

 

It's completely from a compassionate place.

 

They aren't sure if you want space or not. Some people will not like the unwanted help and want to keep things private. So, they are giving you that option because they aren't sure what kind of help you want.

 

I'd ask them if the offer is still open, and then talk to them about your feelings.

[speak]

It's completely from a compassionate place.

 

They aren't sure if you want space or not. Some people will not like the unwanted help and want to keep things private. So, they are giving you that option because they aren't sure what kind of help you want.

 

I'd ask them if the offer is still open, and then talk to them about your feelings.

 

I understand it now! Thanks.