Fame1977 Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 If someone that breaks up with you, specifically says she wants to "take a break" and not actually something permanent, is there an appropriate time to wait...or should you not wait at all...or is just being nice she said that at all? Link to comment
Nerdyjock Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 So your ex officially, a while back, broke up with you, but is recently asking to "take a break" - is that what you are saying? Just making sure I understand before I respond. Link to comment
Fame1977 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 When she did it...she said taking a break...and I asked the difference...and she pointed out that taking a break is not permanent...she never changed her mind from i guess "break up"...it was always taking a break. Link to comment
Nerdyjock Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Well first, I want to point out that the ball is just as in your court as it is hers. I mean, if you are dissatisfied with the way she has left you hanging, you are more than justified in dipping out. However, if you are still wanting to work the relationship out and waiting to see what she says, then yes there is an appropriate time to wait. After a few days I would ask if she minded telling you how she felt. Some people do say "taking a break" and mean it, while others use it as a way to save-face and not break up with you, so it's impossible to know. But, if it were me, I would give it a little time, ask for her thoughts, and then make a decision to leave. I just can't be with soemone who is in limbo or whether or not they want to be with me or not. I figure after a several days of space, if the person still isn't sure, then I don't want to be with them. Link to comment
lavenderdove Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Depends on the reason. If you two have been fighting a lot and she needs a short break to stop the pattern and clear her head and think about what to do, that is OK. Or if she has some serious personal issues to deal with and you are putting pressure on her that means she can't deal wtih the situation. But if she doesn't have a concrete reason for the break, and you don't specify a particular timeframe (i.e., a week or a month) or if she does it to date other people, then i would say the prognosis for getting back together isn't as good. Link to comment
Fame1977 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 It is for personal reasons. At least that's what I believe. I asked her if her issues settled...not directly asked get her to get back together....but implied it...she said we would have to see...I don't know how to aproach it....or is it all on her? Link to comment
iJester Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 Stop contact with her, and start dating other girls immediately. Next time she contacts you, tell her that it's not fair for you to wait around and you're seeking other women. Link to comment
Fame1977 Posted July 14, 2010 Author Share Posted July 14, 2010 harder than it seems...she works with me and claims she wants to be friends...and doesnt want me out of her life... Link to comment
Sports Fan Posted July 14, 2010 Share Posted July 14, 2010 harder than it seems...she works with me and claims she wants to be friends...and doesnt want me out of her life... Of course she doesn't want you out of her life. She wants to string you along while she dates other guys. "Taking a break" is almost always code for "I want out, but I'm too much of a coward to say otherwise). I agree with the prior poster. Start dating others and assume this relationship is over. Link to comment
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