tired of fighting with my girlfriend

[lxbolt87]

I am very new to this forum and I needed opinion from you all..

I have been in a relationship for over a year now. I love her a lot but there are soo many times that she becomes really unreasonable and clingy. She hates the fact that my best friends are girls..and She has trust issues..Though I have explained a million times, she just understand that my friends are just friends and its diff with her.

 

Recently, she had some family issues and wanted to talk to me in the middle of the night. Now, mind you I am a deep sleeper and once I sleep, I cant wake up in the middle of the night. So she calls me at 3 pm in the night and I didnt pick up the phone. And then she msgs me saying that she is going to talk to her best friend (her ex). And then the next day, she says that she cannot rely on me and unlike me, he(her ex) woke up and talked to her.

I explained to her everything and she already knows about it...but she thinks that I am not there for her when i need her...

 

Now, is this something wrong with me? what do I do?

[MetaphorDavis]

Who needs that drama...girls that are into drama love to test you, try to control things, make themselves a victim...I'd let her know if she can't trust you its over cause without trust you don't have a relationship. Besides she sounds exhausting.

[lxbolt87]

yeah i know she is exhausting...but its only that I love her soo much...and there are soo many times that she breaks up with me again and again..and I try to fix things up..she is quite stubborn...

for example, I moved to my new place, and my house mates are girls. I dont have control over it. The landlord decides who stays or not..

And sometimes everyone just chills and have drinks in the patio. She has issues with that too.. She says that she doesnt like me been "extra nice" with other girls...

In nature, I am quite a friendly guy, I get along with everyone and helpful. She thinks my nature is flirting...and that I flirt always....

In short I am not supposed to chill with anyone, always be for her 24/7....

ahh...I am such a lost cause

[lkm370]

ive been in that type of relationships, take it from me, here are a couple things ive learned:

 

1)Shes not going to change, she has deep rooted insecurities probably stemming back from her childhood(abandonment issues, no mother/father, etc...)

 

2)If after a year of dating, shes not trusting you, forget about it, just put this relationships out of its misery

 

3)She will become more and more demanding, and controlling over time, its kind of like she calls you 3 times a day, lets say you miss one of those calls, then she will start calling you 8 times a day

 

4)She will being to take her anger out on you for not practically living for her

 

I know reading this and the repsonse above me, you must think that ending the realtionship is a bad idea, but what im trying to tell you here is her controlling, jeleous, and insecure nature is WHO she is, its not going to go away, and unless you want to put up with it, because it WILL only get worse, its best to end the relationship now

[lkm370]

So she calls me at 3 pm in the night and I didnt pick up the phone. And then she msgs me saying that she is going to talk to her best friend (her ex). And then the next day, she says that she cannot rely on me and unlike me, he(her ex) woke up and talked to her.

 

btw, this is clear manipulation on her part, she's trying to purposley guilt trip you and make you insecure and jeleous, she is MANIPULATING you my friend, when she dosent get her way, her goal is to ruin your self esteem to the point your self esteem is so low SHE OWNS you...please, for your own safey.... dump the * * * * *

[lxbolt87]

I have gone through this idea a lot...about leaving her...the thing is within a few days I miss her a lot..all the memories come flooding back to me..and it bothers me to no end. I feel like there is something I should have done..and this could have worked out. And I second guess everything.. I feel a lot manipulated...and lost...

[lxbolt87]

Does anyone feel like there is something more I should do before I call it quits?

[In the Dark]

Who needs that drama...girls that are into drama love to test you, try to control things, make themselves a victim...I'd let her know if she can't trust you its over cause without trust you don't have a relationship. Besides she sounds exhausting.

 

Couldn't agree more.

 

If you have been rational about the situation and have explained to her but find that it does not matter to her then there is not point carrying on.

 

It will end up turning in to disrespect for you and she will end up controlling everything disregarding your feelings.

 

If you have let her get away with being unreasonable before just to stop something and it has been going on for some she will be used to it and it will only get worse if you do not let her have her way even if it hurts you.

 

You would have had friends who are girls even before you met her so it should not have been an issue.

[lkm370]

Does anyone feel like there is something more I should do before I call it quits?

 

look, i was in a relationship like this, and i tried everything, talking to her, calling her and telling her where i was, letting her meet all my friends and get to them and it only got worse and worse, you are in a relationship where she is one by one evicerating your self esteem to the point where she will practically have you on a leash, and look at yourself man, YOUR blaming yourself when you've been a good, honest, boyfriend while SHE is the one being un reasonable and dis honest, DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF, that is how a controlling, abusive, manipulative person gets to you, they make it seem like everything is your fault

 

the thing is within a few days I miss her a lot..all the memories come flooding back to me..and it bothers me to no end.

 

thats why when you dump her this time, COMPLETLEY cut her off from your life.

 

If you’re not sure whether you are in a controlling relationship, ask yourself a few simple questions. When was the last time you were allowed to go out with friends without your partner? When was the last time you went out alone and it didn’t end up in a huge argument? Does your partner threaten to leave and imply that you don’t love them to prevent you from doing things that he or she doesn’t want you to do? Are there times when you feel as though you’ve been followed? Are your email accounts private or do they insist on having access to them? Do you give them a reason to doubt you, such as infidelity, the threat of infidelity, or frequenting clubs and other similar places without them? Do you try to make them jealous?

 

link removed

 

read the link, controlling leads to abuse, the more she gets you * * * * * whipped, the more brutal and violent she will become

[lxbolt87]

I have emailed her called it off...

Now the tough part...To live through this...I dont know how to stop thinking of her...

Love is soooo painful..