dwelving into the minds of the male gender...

[northernlights]

All right, I'm generally told by people that I understand the male gender better than most females, but the fact is I'm STILL female, and I've just got these questions which have been irking me for awhile...

 

1) Let's say that a guy and a girl like each other, but they haven't admitted their feelings yet. Does the guy mind if the girl happens to "pop up" in a lot of places he's in or talk to him a lot (mind you that he tends to do the same thing)?

 

I'm asking this because I was talking to a bunch of my girl friends last night, and we got on the subject on how a lot of my friends can't stand it when guys (even ones they like) "follow them around" or "watch them from a distance". In fact, it can make a guy they used to be crushing on suddenly creepy and disgusting. We girls can be weird like that though, but what do guys think?

 

2) Okay, so everyone tells me guys think about sex all the time. Is this really REALLY true? Do you guys really think about sex when you see a hot girl and then move on to other things like wanting to know her better, and if so, is it just for the eventual sex? Isn't that like hard, since there are quite a few hot girls in the world and you'd basically be thinking about sex 24/7. Wow.

 

That's it for now. Gals with more questions should add them to this thread, and guys with questions about girls can ask them too. I think it'd be a fun way to see more into the opposite sex. ;P

[Spirits Away]

1. It depends, if the guy like the girl also, then it doesn't matter. But if the guy have no feeling towards the girl, then she'll be preceived as a bit creepy and he will not be sure what to do in situations like that + not sure how to react to make the girl know, without telling her directly, that he's not interested. Generally it's not good to appear in front of them, i think girls are better off if they can have the guy look for them. But not hide though, or else if the guy experienced enough of those girls who hides, they'll just go "ahh, forget it... another one of those girls"

 

2. They say that guys think of sex every 6 seconds. I say that is stupid, but perhaps i'm not mature enough, age-wise.

When i check out girl's body, i would only see the beauty in the shape and size but nothing else. Hmm... maybe i would also ask what her intentions are when she dress very sexy... trying to attract someone in particular? It's funny my friend and i in a lecture had a discussion one time about girls who dress in a way that shows the upper part of the breast. We only talked about how she's like inside. He discussed about insecurity while i discussed about attracting a certain guy she likes. But either way our conversation leans more towards the negative side about her.

[Beec]

If a woman you like just pops up, the first time is good. The fiftieth time is bad. So it depends.

 

Yes, we do think about sex all of the time. If I see a woman walikng in front of me, who is attractive, I am checking her out. Do I think specifically about having sex with her? Not necessarily. But that's somewhere in my mind.

[tc]

Okay, i have a few questions of my own for you guys:

 

1- if you go on date with a girl, things are going well, you end up back at your place and continue chatting, and the next thing you know, it's 4 am, you offer for her to stay the night (no strings attached) and she does, is this weird?

 

2- The next time you go out with her, pretty much the same thing happens, do you consider her to be clingy? is it like "go home already".

 

3- Even if you are having a great time, should you both go your separate ways at the end of the night to increase the anticipation of the next date?

 

The reason i ask these questions is because that's pretty much what happened with me and i think i freaked him out!!! I thought we were enjoying each other's company, but maybe i should have left and not stayed...

 

Did i make myself seem too available???

 

I am new to the whole dating scene, I was in a 10 1/2 yr. relationship that ended badly, and we never really did the whole courtship thing, we kinda just started hanging out, and ended up living together, so, being new to this whole scene, i am confused as to what is right and what is wrong...

 

Any advice that you guys can give me will be greatly appreciated as i don't want to end up making the same mistakes over and over again!!

I may have potentially ruined something before it even got started...

 

So pretty much what i am asking is this: What are some things a girl can do that would make you re-think your decision to date her?

 

thanks.

[wing wha]

i love girls that are always around.

 

and the second question of course not.

i mean just no.

[Celadon]

I've got questions, too. (Hey, can some more guys come around and give us some insight here??)

 

Here they are:

 

Should a gal always give a guy a chance, like, agree to a first date? One of my guy friends says its sooo painful to get rejected without being given a chance, so he thinks it's actually better to go out once, then get turned down for the second date. I find that hard to believe.

 

Related to that -- say a woman know this guy, and they're friends but she truly isn't interested in him. Then somehow he starts liking her, but doesn't come out and say it. He just keeps doing things, like trying to talk with her all the time. If she's not interested back, how can she tell him so that he gets the message (besides saying, Uh, it seems like you like me, but I only like you as a friend)?

 

That happened to me, and I didn't do anything to "handle" it, except just play it a little cooler -- and the guy ended up just getting mad and sulky and now he treats me like I don't exist. Anyway ... so much for friendship!

 

P.S. To the others who've asked questions: I've been told that guys would rather pursue women (I know, old stereotype, but supposedly still true) than have them plop in their laps, so I'd say it still probably helps to let the guy make some effort -- and decide for himself when he wants to do it.

[Eh Im Canadian]

First of all, guys don't think about sex every 6 seconds. I mean we occasionally sleep right? 6 seconds is only 1 / 10th of a day! Sex is thought of maybe 1/3 or 1/4! I guess women are viewed as a challenge, so it appeals to a lot of guys. I'm not talking about myself in general, because I don't actually think about sex that often. But I have many friends who don't spend as much time trying to understand stuff as me, and they think about sex a lot. I did a little test on them of what words bring what images to their minds, and they have 1 second to answer. So you say pickle, and they say dildo. You say peach and they say ass. You say hand, and they say, well not appropriate for this circumstance.. So mostly guys think about sex whenever you say anything. Of course, I know a lot of girls who think about sex just as much, so it isn't a gender thing. Except guys have a little notification signal that occurs when they see someone who they think is hot, so there is a little difference. So to answer the sfirst question, I don't think a guy would mind if you followed him around a little, but you would have to keep it a little casual, and not do it too often. Other than that, you would probably be fine. I don't know how to answer your question k8tie, sorry bout that. I would help if I could, but I don't want to give any wrong advice.

[northernlights]

Thanks for the answers guys. Got any questions for us girls?

 

Oh, and could we maybe keep this thread to a general "what the heck are guys/girls thinking" thread instead of "what should I do in my current situation" thread? Those usually go under other topics like "relationships", "attraction and flirting", or just have their own post, etc. I think it's better to have us answer general "mysteries" about the opposite sex than turn this into an advice seeking forum.

[Eh Im Canadian]

I have several questions for girls. First of all, what's the deal with asking how much they weigh? Why is it such a big thing? Also, I've noticed if you ask if they got any sleep then they get really defensive about it. There are so many questions to ask, and everybody thinks it is too rude to ask why in person. Everybody has little things that bug them or thoughts they think about, but I don't see how so many people could be so sensitive aboout the same thing. I know it seems kind of rude, but I've have always wondered this, and I don't know of a better chance to ask then now.

[Trigve]

to answer Kate's questions

 

"Should a gal always give a guy a chance, like, agree to a first date? One of my guy friends says its sooo painful to get rejected without being given a chance, so he thinks it's actually better to go out once, then get turned down for the second date. I find that hard to believe. "

 

I'd say yes. a lot of times I'd like a girl, but after I spend some time with her I don't really like her anymore. so a date would give him the chance to un-like you. Also it gives you a chance to "play it cool" and he'll get the idea that there's no chemistry without you having to reject him directly.

 

 

 

"Related to that -- say a woman know this guy, and they're friends but she truly isn't interested in him. Then somehow he starts liking her, but doesn't come out and say it. He just keeps doing things, like trying to talk with her all the time. If she's not interested back, how can she tell him so that he gets the message (besides saying, Uh, it seems like you like me, but I only like you as a friend)?"

 

I don't know about that, I'm actually in the same situation so maybe you can tell me if the play it cool method works with girls (that's what I've been doing).

[Celadon]

Hey Trigve--

 

Thanks for replying! Since you agree with my guy friend on the give-a-guy-a-chance thing, he must not be as nuts as I thought. just kidding.

 

About playing it cool with girls, yeah, I think it would work. Except with those girls who are so determined, they'll amp it up if they think they're losing your interest. But most girls would get the hint, esp. since we're not as used to being that persistent. If she doesn't get the hint, she might still like you but hide her feelings more.

 

First of all, what's the deal with asking how much they weigh? Why is it such a big thing? Also, I've noticed if you ask if they got any sleep then they get really defensive about it.

 

Your question, Eh?, is a good one. One of the "mysteries." Well, girls - just like guys - are insecure in some ways. Very often, people hear what they're afraid of, even if it's not what you said. Certain questions are loaded, since we've grown up with the idea that beauty = thin, tall, happy.

 

Say you ask, "How much do you weigh?" She hears: You're overweight.

You ask, "Did you get any sleep?" She hears: You look terrible.

 

I think people are afraid of other people judging them, and finding them to be "lacking." With questions about weight and tiredness, it's almost a reflex reaction.

 

Well, hope this helped!

[Trigve]

well Eh, think about it this way. when you ask a girl how much she weighs its almost the same as if she asks you how long your dick is

 

 

 

not very polite at all

[Santa]

 

 

I don't agree wih giving the guy a chance if your not interested. Thats so cruel! Its like giving false hope, and then they may be confused as to what went on, or made an idiot of themselves. Perhaps before I would say give them a chance, but to be honest, I perfer to go on a date with a girl that actually likes me a lot/ has a crush on me.

Also I perfer it when girls pursue me, thats why I barely ever pursue any. It makes them win so much respect in my books, and to be honest, usually I don't know they exist unless they do this. Even if I don't like the girl, it makes me feel good, and I sometimes try to make myself like them back (though this never works), because I realise other guys would probably love this chance, and i'm throwing it away. Some guys might boast to their friends etc, but if they do that, they arn't worth it.

 

 

My question to you girls is why do you show signs that your inerested, and like them physicaly, but if you don't like their hobbies or you think they are 'nice' you go off them? As a male, if I found a girl attractive I would still like her initially, and being nice would be a plus if anything. The only thing that would turn me off, would be if they are slutty and embaressing to be around (ie kissing other people etc), or they are nasty people etc. Little things in personality doesn't matter really to males it seems, but to you girls it does!