He thought we were in a relationship.

[waveseer]

Have you ever done this (I have) or had this done to you where only one person thinks a relationship is happening? It's the strangest thing to be faced with someone claiming you are in a relationship with them when you had no idea that's what it was. For truth in disclosure I once read an extended interaction all wrong and was on the other side of this awkward situation thinking we had something "real" when it simply didn't exist, never had and never would. It was frustrating to say the least, and the time I was the one who didn't know I felt like a third party observing the relationship he was having only in his mind.

[Stay_home]

It's happen before. I didn't realize that certain vibes I was putting off was causing things to take that kind of turn. I may have said and done some things that would've indicated that it was a relationship or that I wanted something exclusive but all the time that wasn't where my head really was. It was because I was young and uneducated about how sometimes a few simple words or gestures could be misleading to another. Since then, I try to be very careful about what I say and what I do. The last thing I would ever want to do is be misleading and hurt someone elses feelings.

[waveseer]

NS, well I definitely misread the signs when I was the one thinking there was a relationship. Looking back now I can see where I went wrong and it really wasn't the other person's fault at all. The bottom line is that I wanted there to be a relationship so I filled in the spaces to suit myself. I suppose that's exactly what the person did in the other situation when they thought there was a relationship with me. I know I didn't lead them on, we were never physical, not even a hug. There was never a discussion of dating or anything, basically we studied together often. I felt badly about both once the truth came out, but they no longer hold much feeling for me.

[Stay_home]

I forgot to add that some people do make things up in their heads along the way. Plus, a relationship doesn't mean the same thing to everybody. For some it consists of a lot more and for others, very low-key and subtle things can make them start thinking that something is there. You mentioned about studying together often; that could be taken for the wrong meaning. For instance, if a person already likes you and you study with them every week or hangout often with them, they might begin to think that you feel the same way as they do.

[waveseer]

NS, when it was me making things up we were in contact every day, or nearly so. When it was the other person we studied together every day, or nearly so. It really helps to have been on both sides of the fence because I can easily understand the dynamic.

[Stay_home]

I've been over on both sides too. It's not a good feeling, feeling like you're being led on or that you're leading someone else on. This stuff is so confusing sometime.

[waveseer]

NS, as a usually very direct person I'm not sure how I ended up in either situation. Studying with someone has a purpose, to succeed in school. I didn't realize he thought there was more to it than that. There were no gifts exchanged, no phone calls, not even a lunch paid for, nothing. When it was me playing the fool I was too afraid of the answer not being the one I wanted to ask the question directly, at least not for a long time. By the time I thought, this HAS to be a relationship by now and finally mustered up my nerve and asked I was so disappointed with the answer. I had fooled nobody but myself.

[top bloke]

I remember a beautiful beautiful girl. We met..kissed then she still kept contact and then it was like ..this is not a real relationship. It was disheartenning..At least at the time It looked like one but there you go.I remember it sucked big time but such is life.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

These pseudo-relationships happen because typically the person who afterwards claims they were never interested has sent enough signals to the person interested to denote something more than just friendship. I don't believe it is any kind of misunderstanding and fantasy on the part of the person who has the interest....I think often one person does indeed realize that the other person has an interest and therefore sends mixed messages which encourages the other person's interest. They do just enough to encourage without making it full-fledged so that the person with the interest assume that given time something more will come out of it. In other words, I think the other person is often just as guilty at promoting the pseudo-relationship in order to get an ego boost.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

NS, well I definitely misread the signs when I was the one thinking there was a relationship. Looking back now I can see where I went wrong and it really wasn't the other person's fault at all. The bottom line is that I wanted there to be a relationship so I filled in the spaces to suit myself. I suppose that's exactly what the person did in the other situation when they thought there was a relationship with me. I know I didn't lead them on, we were never physical, not even a hug. There was never a discussion of dating or anything, basically we studied together often. I felt badly about both once the truth came out, but they no longer hold much feeling for me.

 

It is often not about the physical contact nor about any actual relationship discussion. It is about how the two people interact together and subtle signs. If you notice in many TV programs where there is romantic tension between two characters, often it is about the glances and the interactions with each other which show something brewing under the surface even though nothing was declared openly and there was not physical interaction. It is the vibes that are given off and the subtleties in the interaction which show that it goes way beyond simple friendship even though there is no official romance.

[quirky]

Yes it has happened to me but I wasn't shocked. I thought we were just "dating" he thought we were boyfriend and girlfriend,exclusively. I was still assesing it whether I would become exclusive.