Advice needed! What is this about??

[another_guy]

I recently met this girl that I really dig... a lot.

 

She's from another city, but is sort of a "free spirit" that travels often. I've known her less than a week, but, feel like I've gotten to know her more than any other person within that short time!

 

She spoke about making plans to spend the summer in the city with me while together. Was clearly really into me... spent 4 or 5 days together, slept together, did everything together. Then she left town.

 

Since then, strangely enough she hasn't called me a single time yet writes almost every day via email. I'm chalking this up to her "quirkiness" as she's quite a unique individual, but I still find it strange that all communication is by way of email when we've been so close with one another. She write to me and calls me babe, baby, etc. Initially leading me to believe in her emails that she was coming back to the city to stay with me. I was really excited about this, though her decision seemed very spur of the moment and plans vague. A coupel of days later she writes saying she can't come because she needs to spend a few days a week working to save money. Disappointed but fair enough. A few days earlier I was expecting to be living with a girl for the next two months and then... not. Kind of a head scrambler but okay.

 

She writes and says things like how this summer should be about the two of us spending as much time as possible together and getting to know one another, and how special I am bla bla bla. But then takes off to NYC for 4 days with her friends, dancing all night, etc. I've no problem with that and don't want to be controlling or overbearing as she's not my girlfriend... but she's certainly been leading me in the direction fo a relationship.

 

I don't want to come on too strong with this girl either because I get the sense that she's... different. She travels a lot, sort of a jet setter if you want to call it that. She always does so on her own, and seems to meet people in different places. She's extremely attractive and really gorgeous so it's not surprising. She'll take off for Europe: Rome, Italy, Spain, etc. I've seen photos of her with guys in different places and she's told me of past boyfriends, but while we never delved into this too deeply, I get the sense that she's never really ever been too attached. It's more of her getting lost int hese romantic foreign places that she's more attracted to than boyfriends or anything like that. She likes to travel and make new friends, drink wine, play records and dance all night. But it seems like something is different with us because she basically came out and said so... that she's never met anyone like me and never felt what she has in only a few days. I'm confident that she really is into me... But then the lack of direct conversation when we're apart and her taking off for days with friends to other cities leaves me totally confused.

 

She's coming back to stay with me for a few days next week... then back home. Then back to stay with me again for a few days a week later. And again a week later. Whenever she has free time from work, which I guess must be indicative of something, right??

 

We're going to NYC together at the end of the month and I'm really excited about it... but clearly moreso than her! I spent a lot of money on a hotel deposit (not because I'm trying to be a big shot but NY is an expensive city!) and made res at a really special restaurant on the first night... but then I find out that she's taking off to the city this weekend (probably to stay with friends so not a big deal) and she always seems to blow past any references I make to the upcoming trip or other smaller weekend getaways that I've wanted to take by saying that she just can't wait to be with *me* and come back to this -unnamed city- and spend time with me and lay in my bed, etc. I guess that makes me feel good... but it also makes me wonder if the two of us going away on these small trips, (nevermind the thousand dollar hotel expenses for 4 nights!) and doing these special things together that I put a lot of thought towards matter at all to her... I don't think so. I wonder if she's somewhat jaded from all her travels and meeting people or what it is?

 

Also, she is leaving for 3 months to an -undisclosed exotic place- come the fall to enroll in a trade program. She'll be spending 3 months on beaches in the sun, meeting people, etc. I know this sounds raving mad insane because I've known her face-to-face for a week... but it's all a bit confusing and I don't really know what to make of everything.

 

I'm hoping to figure this all out and eventually be able to speak more directly with her about as we gradually spend more time with one another this summer... but I'm slightly concerned that she's just the type of person that is not capable of getting too attached and even if she is genuine about her feelings for me (which I believe she definitely is) that she's just too cool/hip/jetset that she'll continue to wander from continent to continent having these kind of relationships or experiences with other people? I don't know... she told me that she ultimately wants to live in France. But all of her decisions are entirely spur of the moment with no thought or planning whatsoever. She won't even tell me what she plans to do for August... she *might* come stay with me but doesn't want to look to far ahead, she just wants to try to spend as much time with me as possible and see where each day takes her.

 

Most people would probably say that nothing long-term could ever come of this and just accept the relationship for what it is and be glad to have made such a great friend, or move on, whatever... I know and acknowledge this. But she's the most uniquely in tune person Ive ever met and we share so much in common it's scary! I think that there may be a way that the two of us could have an actual relationship... but in all my experience it's usually the girl who'd be feeling this way!! This is a real 360 for me because every girl I've ever been with would have at this point, given what we've shared together in the short period we've gotten to know one another and emails exchanged, wanted to know more about where it was going. Whereas this person doesn't want to think about anything except right NOW and what she'll be planning for the next day or week rather than upcoming months.

 

If she would've treated whatever we have between us as more of a friendship, casual sex thing, than I'd be a lot cooler with this... but she's lead me to think it's something much more intimate and meaningful to her. She certainly doesn't know how to show that! I'm not sure if she's just clueless (actually I'm sure she IS!) and out of touch because she's really a different kind of girl than any I've known... whatever it is, I'd like some advice on how best to resolve my feelings!

 

Should I just let things play out and see how it all unravels? What's with the complete lack of phone conversation (not a single telephone call)... her awkwardness or maybe feeling uneasy on the phone? Or not realising that's a bit strange or just a product of this technological driven gen. of social networking and crap? Is that how things work nowadays.. I've never been a long-distance relationship? I'm not even sure I'm in one now! Heck, I don't even know what if any, our boundaries are and what she'll be doing in NYC this weekend... I feel a little uneasy about it, but confident enough in myself to net get too jealous or care more than I should.

 

Any feedback here? Thanks!!

[another_guy]

Btw, I should clarify that when I say she likes to stay out late all night and dance... I don't mean she's going to clubs to get picked up by guys and grind to thumping loud house music or anything! She's a free spirit as I mentioned earlier above. She loves music, she DJs and collects records, plays many instruments, designs and makes her own clothing out of vintage fabrics, rebuilds old scooters and motorbikes and goes on weekend trips through the countryside... I just don't want to give the wrong impression that would completely skew people's perspectives when reading the above.

[savignon]

It sounds like you like her enough to see where things go as she suggested. As my friend would ask, "Do you have anything better to do at the moment?"