I feel like I'll never be able to survive on my own...

[Mguy92]

I've been having this fear as of late...

 

I feel as though that there will not be a point in my life where I move out of my parents' house. I'd like to, but at the same time I fear it. How would I financially support myself? I don't see myself having a well-paying job, and frankly I don't know what I want to be career-wise. Also, I see myself living alone due to my inability to attract a girl. Sigh...this kind of change sends chills running down my spine, coupled with depression toward the fact that I can't make it on my own. The future, once again, looks bleak. Plus, why would a girl want to be with a loser like myself who doesn't know what he wants out of life? I'm guaranteed to be alone. It's just that, I can't see myself living alone. If my parents ever decided to kick me out of the house (which I'd be surprised), I'd barely be able to survive for more than one month, and probably become homeless. The future seems like a somber place for me...

[Kinkz]

How old are you?

 

I think the Universe has a way of providing for all changes that take place in life, it happenes on its own. Like for instance, say that even if you do become homeless - wouldn't that give you a reason/motivation to look for a job? EArn money and feed yourself, house yourself etc.

 

I think when a person is put in a situation, survival instincts kick in automatically.

[Mguy92]

I'm 17.

 

It's that, I don't know of any jobs that are available that pay well. Frankly I think it would suck to be a bag boy for the rest of my life.

[abitbroken]

I think you are putting pressure on yourself - you seem to see things as "all or nothing" - you will either have a high paying job or be homeless. Not everyone has a high paying job - we all learn to live within our means. If you can look at your budget and learn to spend less - coupons, not buying the latest thing - waiting until the price comes down - can really cut costs. Also, you can start out by renting a room or sharing a place with a roommate where the bills for rent and utilities will be split so it won't be the total 'sink or swim' situation right off the bat. There are also people who are looking to rent out their basement that has a separate entrance or a room in their home to make ends meet and it could be an ideal situation for you.

 

The finding a mate thing won't happen over night, but sometimes things like that work themselves out once we are willing to put one foot in front of the other on other matters. Once you move into a room, you get the confidence that you can swing it, and then move up to another situation.

 

Depression is a serious matter which I recommend you get help with, but sometimes a little bit of it takes care of itself when we already have some momentum.

[abitbroken]

I'm 17.

 

It's that, I don't know of any jobs that are available that pay well. Frankly I think it would suck to be a bag boy for the rest of my life.

 

Well, its a little early to throw in the towel. Think of something you enjoy doing, and then pursue that. It is not an all or nothing, either. Think of general areas - like - do you like being outside? Do you like working with kids? Do you like to work with numbers or problem solve?

 

Also, it might be a good exercise for you to do the best you can at your job (always be 15 minutes early for your shift, accept schedule changes cheerfully, be reliable), and then inquire about other positions there that you might like to try. It takes time to find your niche. I had a few jobs that I would never want to do for a career when I was 17-20 while I was working through school, but I found something enjoyable about each one or learned something even if I learned that I wasn't good at it.

[Mguy92]

I was contemplating becoming a psychologist...

 

It's just, while that seems like a stable career, how would I get patients? Do they come out of nowhere or something?

 

My other career idea was becoming an EASL teacher in Japan.

 

Then I realized I may not be able to withstand the culture shock and loneliness. Hmm...

[Kinkz]

I'm 17.

 

It's that, I don't know of any jobs that are available that pay well. Frankly I think it would suck to be a bag boy for the rest of my life.

 

Well frankly, in my opinion, if a person is not willing to put hard work and effort into being something which they think is worthy of being, then they don't really have a choice but to put up with the role they have been given in life i.e bag boy.

 

Arrange a career's interview and talk about your options with an advisor, they will point you into the right direction.

[abitbroken]

I was contemplating becoming a psychologist...

 

It's just, while that seems like a stable career, how would I get patients? Do they come out of nowhere or something?

 

My other career idea was becoming an EASL teacher in Japan.

 

Then I realized I may not be able to withstand the culture shock and loneliness. Hmm...

 

You are worrying about too much too soon. If you are a psychologist, it doesn't mean you have to open up a private practice. You might find yourself interning at a shelter providing counseling services. You could work at a hospital. You could end up working at an established practice where there are already 2 other psychologists and when someone new calls up, they give them to you, or give you clients that are within your specialty.

 

Teaching Japanese as a second language might be interesting, but do you already speak Japanese? A friend of mine was looking to do that. The issue is that the way they are teaching english as a second language is changing there. The old style way of the teacher not speaking japanese, etc, is becoming outmoded. The english traning in Japan is now very sophisticated and kids are learning earlier in school - so you would almost need to be an english teacher like the ones here, and then take some Japanese as a second language yourself. They need more english teachers that are on a higher level versus teaching very very basic "hi, how are you?

If you want to teach the old style way, they are more likely to send you to a less developed country. But it won't be so isoalted - you'll meet other folks. So I would recommend if you want to do that, take Japanese and become an English teacher.

[im rly mad]

A lot of kids stay at home during college... save money during this period or put it towards college itself if you don't get financial aid.

 

You're biggest priority right now is figuring out what you want to do with your life. If you don't know a career you'd be interested in pursuing, think about the things that you are good at or like to do, or want to do. Make a list of the things you want out of life; sculpt your career around this list.

 

This won't help if you're like me, though.

 

And I wouldn't recommend trying to become an ESL teacher in a foreign country without getting an idea of what that country is like. Think it would be worth it to travel there if you can as cheap as possible and determine whether you like it enough to stay for an extended period of time.

 

And as for the psychologist thing, you would start out- like most everybody- with no client base, barely any support, etc.

 

I guess you're at the right stage now... just prospect what you'd like and don't worry about it too much. I mean, you should definitely maybe read some books about things you're interested in and really think about what you want to do, but people constantly change careers and majors, so if you find something you do think you'd love to do then go for it and see what happens.

[catfeeder]

I don't think I've ever met anyone, personally, who has lived through age 17 without the exact same fears to one degree or another. Sure, kids who know they're college bound might hold off on the panic until they're 20 or so, but same difference.

 

Most people start somewhere at 'entry level' or slightly higher if educated, and they build their experience over time with exposure to different tasks and environments and people. So the idea straight out of school isn't to land a great paying job, it's to land any job that can teach you things--and there is something to be learned in every job. This is why lots of people sign up at temp agencies and enjoy the exposure to lots of work environments--even if it's just to do clerical work while learning all they can about companies from the inside.

 

I agree with the person who called you on 'all or nothing' thinking. That's self-torture, and it closes your mind to being curious, optimistic and open to new experiences. These are things that most successful people have in common--they weren't afraid to work small jobs because they were open to learning how things work inside every store, restaurant, office, garage or wherever, that would have them. They turn every experience into an internship, and because they don't wear a chip, people are willing to help them.

 

If your parents aren't ready to push you out, then use this time to train your mind to think constructively instead of destructively. Everything is a mystery, so you don't need the answers right now. The answers will find you as life teaches you over time--you just need curiosity and an appreciation for your fortunate position in a household where you have time for self discovery. Use your mind wisely.