Does he love me?

[MikeG]

Hey guys,

 

I am pretty new here so here is a quick back story. The name is Mike and I am from Massachusetts. I am gay and was introduced online through a mutual friend (from a gay christian website) to a man named Michael back in early February. We both come from religious backgrounds being raised roman catholic and the struggles that goes along with it. I am going to a non denominational christian church while he still goes to a catholic church. As a matter of fact he is going to a catholic college in the fall. These two factors really brought a common bond between Michael and I right off the bat. we both had found each other very attractive but this added to it.

 

We spoke daily for a few months until we actually got to meet up for the first time in April. It was a little slow at first as I could tell Michael was very shy. After some time he really got to open up to me and just talked about God and his few past relationships. While we talked sitting in the park I had noticed he put his arm around the bench but not close enough that he had his arm around my shoulder. It seemed as if he was hesitant.

 

BY this time I was really developing feelings for him. I knew after our first meeting that I was falling in love with the person not just falling in love with the notion of being in love. Around this time I had heard he was starting to talk to this guy from his school kind of to see how things were going. Things were starting to get serious but because I had become friends with Michael I was being supportive. A few weeks later the guy he was going out with dumped Michael because he felt he could not commit to him with his demanding job as a chef. I felt heart broken for Michael but I still felt I had to try to give this a real chance.

 

I expressed my support for Michael and he flat out told me that he is open to dating me. He admitted to me in the past that he rushed into relationships too quickly and wanted to take it slower with me to build our friendship. So the end of May rolls around and we meet up again. We explored the city and chatted nonstop for hours on end. I offered a place for us to eat and so we did. The interesting thing is between when we went to eat and when we left the area I felt his arm rubbing up against mine. Now if this were a one time thing I would mark it as a coincidence. It happened 4 times. I gave him a big hug as he was leaving and warmly accepted.

 

My mutual friend of Michael's kept tabs telling me of what Michael felt. He really enjoyed our first meeting and felt good with me. Our second meeting he told him that he had a great time and that I was the perfect gentleman. 3 weeks pass and him and i met after he suggested I come into Boston with him as he was going to pre-order a game. We walked around for hours and talked about anything and everything. The arm thing like last time came into play and this time I returned the favor there were no objections or apologies. 4th of July plans came up. I said I had nothing going on. He told me he wanted to go into Boston for the 4th of July. Wanted to go with a friend whom he would feel safe with and asked me right away to which i accepted.

 

This was a few days ago. Last night I talked with our mutual friend I discussed. He told me that Michael said that I am the most real and honest gay guy he has ever met and would never screw me over. He told him that he had a wonderful time with me and that I was growing on him. Every time I have met him my feelings for him grow stronger and stronger. I have been respecting his space to show him that I am not like every other guy out there. I just wonder if he is reaching the point where he truly is in love with me as I am with him. I feel like I want to potentially try to make a move and see how things go.

 

I am sorry for the long post it is just a lot of story I had to explain to you guys. Despite how he feels about himself I think the world of Michael. I feel like we care and love each other immensely. I feel we bring out the best in one another. I know friends can do that sure but it can be a whole new level when its your boyfriend. I am curious to see what you guys think. Have a wonderful day!

 

Mike

[savignon]

Sounds like all green lights to me...enjoy!! Best wishes!!

[tu444]

It's hard to say for sure if he's in love with you yet but he definitely likes you. It sounds like he just wants to take it slow and you've been doing a good job at that.

I think you should go for it in the near future.

[ceez]

I agree with everyone else, it sounds like he really likes you but is afraid of rushing into a relationship again.

[MikeG]

Thank you all so much for your replies. If I am going to do something have any suggestions? I am I am referring to: holding his hand, arm around the shoulder, kiss etc. This is fairly new to me so I am just trying to make sure I don't go too strong with my advance.

[savignon]

Maybe make a private gesture first (like at home while watching a game or a movie). That's my only "first step" advice. Whether it's holding his hand, kissing or whatever....do what feels right in the moment...don't force it. When the opportunity arises, you'll know to go for it.

Best wishes

[MikeG]

Hey all,

 

Sorry for the late reply. I wanted to wait till after the 4th to give the few that have checked out this thread a proper reply. I met with Michael a little after 2 and we headed off to Boston for the fireworks. Despite not having any lawn chairs we find this prime spot sitting on a stone ledge type thing overlooking the Boston Harbor. I bought us some ice cream and we talked for hours on end. Everything from our family life, politics, religion, philosophy, video games, music the simpsons and reading. After a while he headed off and grabbed us some dinner that he paid for and we talked some more.

 

About mid-way through our talks the arm touching began to resurface again. I d id it a few times as he did it as well. I mustered up the courage to put my hand over his. He didn't release his hand away. I subtly brushed my pinky over his before releasing. After a bit more talking we decided to read some of our books. My book bag was between my legs and he asked me if i minded if he laid his head down there. I said sure as he used my book bad as a pillow to rest his head as my legs were around him. Seeing him laying there with his tank top on made me feel so at peace. I never felt so content with someone before.

 

Before we knew it the sun was starting to go down and we watched the sun set together. Every time we looked up the horizon looked more beautiful than the last. Watching the clouds roll by and making out images from the clouds formation was a lot of fun. Seeing all the suns' colors burst out and reflect upon the water was a true pleasure to see. I looked at him and smiled as he smiled back knowing that we were witnessing a little slice of heaven. I would like to think that things were falling into place for him and i finally when I felt his hand kind of in a little fist on my knee. I did what Michael did and let it linger there enjoying its warmth.

 

We enjoyed the rest of the night as the Boston Pops (our orchestra) play a bunch of music before the fireworks display happened. I've seen the Boston fireworks display for years at home but seeing it over the waterfront live and in person was incredible. This was Michael's first fireworks display ever being there live. I felt honored and thrilled he asked me among all that he could have asked to go with him. Despite the 11 hours we spent together it all flew by so fast. I gave him a big warm embrace as we departed thanking him for this magical night.

 

I hope that our 4th is a sign of more things to come for him and I regarding a romantic relationship. What d you guys think? I hope each and everyone of you had a happy and safe 4th of July!

 

Mike

[A-Game123]

when you are hugging him goodbye dont go in for the full kiss but give him a kiss on the forehead or the cheek to show him that you are his friend but you Yes still are looking to further the relationship and that you do want more

[MikeG]

Thank you for the quick reply. I would have done that but we were very pressed for time. Do you think he wants more as I do?

[ceez]

aww, I'm jealous. it sounds like your moving at a great pace.

[Kaytie]

Wow, that sounds so romantic!! I think things sound like they're heading in that direction for sure

[MikeG]

Sorry for the delay. I have a short report. We are actually seeing each other Friday. Should have a little bit of privacy possibly. Might walk around a little., grab some food, hang out in one of the parks near by. I do want to move forward with this just not sure how. If you have any advice guys I would appreciate it!

 

Mike

[Unusual U]

Well... It seems like he's really feeling something for you. So maybe, when you two are alone and you feel you're ready, you can bring up how you feel and you two can talk about it. I think if you're honest about it you'll be able to get a lot accomplished, relationship wise, if you know how each other feels. Good luck!

[MikeG]

Thanks for the replies. I do have quite an interesting update. We walked around Boston checking out some of the shops. Grabbed a bite to eat at one of the food courts We eventually went into Newbury Comics and browsed. I decided to be a little playful in a flirty way. He was playfully pretending to grab one of the games but was deciding against it since he didn't want to spend all his money. I faked going to hit him with the empty bottle and he went you could not hit me even if you tried smiling. So I hit him lightly on the shoulder and went ohhhhh (pretending to be sad). So I kissed his shoulder to make it all better to which he smiled. So as we were going to depart for our respectable trains I gave him a long embrace putting my head on his shoulder for a second as he said awww.

 

A few days later I was talking to our mutual friend David. I had brought something up and he went it's not like you two are dating or anything. I went not yet, unless of course you are telling me not to hold my breath. He said I am saying nothing which I knew meant something was up. He asked if i know he was on date sites which i did and he said he gets a lot of hits and has a few dates lined up. I suppose I should not have been offended that he was going out with some other guys to see where things went I felt hurt and angry for the fact he just didn't come out and say so. Basically David felt that the feelings I had for Michael, Michael wasn't sharing the same. So for days I just didn't talk to Michael and was trying to let it go a little bit.

 

Then came Wednesday night. I was chatting with David again. He said I am talking to you know who. He said we are talking about you actually. My heart kind of skipped a beat fearing the worst. He was telling me that Michael was conflicted. I said what does he have to be conflicted about and he told me he was conflicted about me. I asked why? He said despite going on those dates and with the last one looking like it was going to work out. After the dates were over thoughts would circle to me; He told David that i was a decent, good christian guy. That I had a real inner beauty and sweetness. He told David that he feels this intensely strong connection with me. David was very blunt and real with me when talking about what Michael was doing prior so if there was anything bad about Michael's internal conflict he would have gone out in the open and told me.

 

So here I am going from having a great day with Michael to nearly losing all hope to suddenly things shifting in my favor. Safe to say it was a lot for my mind to take in so fast. It makes me feel that my gut feeling about him really having feelings for me where there. What do you guys think? I am obviously keeping a low profile about me knowing what was said and just going with the flow. I feel like in my heart I am closer than ever to having Michael's heart. Let me know how you guys feel.

 

Mike

[ceez]

it sounds like he really does have feelings for you and he's comparing the guys he dates to you. I still think the reason why he hasn't made it official yet is because he's afraid it won't work out and will ruin the friendship. this kinda reminds me of the movie "all over the guy".

[MikeG]

Ceez thank you so much for the reply. I have been meaning to post an update but I just got a little busy. Last week I had a real long talk with Michael. We were chatting in general about things here and there and the subject got into about our recent get togethers. For whatever reason I got the nerve to ask him why he has not gone further with me. He told me he is really scared of commitment. For those that have read this post from the beginning and from what I know I know its not the cliche afraid of commitment. He is not the type to go from date to date and dump guys since he does not gnat to settle down. Being in a relationship is very new to him as it is with me.

 

I then asked the very important question. I have wondered all this time if he really feels for me that I feel for him. I said listen Michael is it an issue where you do not have that physical/sexual attraction to me? I told him it really is ok if that is the case since I have been there before. He told me no you are really cute do not worry.

 

I know he will be starting college for the first time in 3 weeks so that in itself has him a little scared. We even got into issues of kissing and moves I have made towards him. I told you guys about the time I put my hand on his and he let me keep it there. I told him how i wanted to but was scared. I told him I was afraid he would not like it and that he would pull away and he told me he would never do that to me. I asked him if he had thought about kissing me before. He told me he really has. I replied to him saying so have I quite a bit. He told me that he feels a kiss between him and I should be at the right moment and truly special. What opened my eyes is when he told me: "Besides you I have not felt much love."

 

So to sum up this update, I finally have that piece of mind known that he DOES love me like that! I am so thrilled. So for the time being we are going to keep doing what we have been doing. I am not one to rush into a relationship anyways. This was a truly massive step and one that had to be made. I just think as we go further I may very well end up being the one making that move for a date and the first kiss. What are you guys reactions and thoughts about this? Thank you for reading.

 

Mike