Is friendship a good idea?

[eAlone]

Just wondering if friendship with your ex is a good idea? Maybe for rebuilding trust?

 

My ex wants to be friends and hang out...I on the other hand, want a relationship. I told her I did not want to be friends and have not spoken to her since, which has been about a week now. She told me she understood how it;d be hard, but a part of me is telling me maybe I should try this route especially since she doesn't trust me. Maybe she wants to see if she can trust me again?

 

Thoughts?

[marshmallito]

Friendship is definitely a great way to earn trust.

I doubt she wants your friendship from you, so you can earn her trust over time. And even with trust you may not end up together.

[HouseKitten]

Who broke up with whom?

 

If she broke up with you, she may be suggesting you stay friends not because she has any intention of working on your relationship or trust issues, but simply because she feels guilty for leaving you.

 

Why doesn't she trust you?

[JoshHimself]

Who broke up with whom?

 

If she broke up with you, she may be suggesting you stay friends not because she has any intention of working on your relationship or trust issues, but simply because she feels guilty for leaving you.

 

Why doesn't she trust you?

 

Maybe she thinks the friendship thing wont let you move on. Keeping you there because she has other options and she is afraid they wont work out. And who would be there? YOU

[eAlone]

marshmallito:

 

Since you put it that way, maybe I'm not ready to be friends yet haha

 

HouseKitten:

 

I was the dumper now dumpee. I initially ended things over an argument which was really stupid on my part - it was an impulse thing from being really angry. Anyway, I realized my mistake within a couple of days, but by then she said she had had enough but wants to remain friends, loves me, cares...you know the rest. So I suppose shes afraid of getting hurt like that again.

 

But I can see that she may feel guilty for not wanting to get back together.

 

JoshHimself:

 

She does have other options, but she hasn't or "they" haven't pulled the trigger. I doubt she wants to remain friends to keep me from moving on though, I just don't think she is that manipulative, you never know I guess...but I would like to believe I would know. Other reason is that she hasn't contacted me since I declined friendship with her and she's been the one initiating most of the contact over our breakup

[Baurman]

My thoughts on being friends with an Ex... is, if you're completely over her and you won't get your emotions involved then I think being friends is fine. However, if you're still hoping to get back with her, and you still have feelings for her... then it's bad. Because in order for your feelings to go away and get back to normal you need to let go and move on from her. And I think by seeing her will only make you hurt more and more when you realize she doesn't want a relationship. I speak from experience, when my ex told me she doesn't love me I was in denial and I still saw her for a whole MONTH and I hurt that entire month until I finally said you know what, you don't love me.. so get out of my life. and now 2 weeks later I live my life happy even though she isn't in it.