Fear of Sex

[ATLstudent]

Just met a girl, and she called me up last night, a little buzzed, we talked a bit and she said she was horny and wanted to have some fun.....Anyway when she said this i got a slight pit in my stomach and this fear came over me...like if a girl is really sexually direct toward me i get kind of scarred, intimidated about the sex, maybe from a fear of not performing well. How do i get over this fear and have happy feelings when it comes to the prospect of sex, it would be much better to feel confidence and excitement, rather than fear or doubt

[Speranza]

People are all different. You might be someone who needs more closeness and more of a relationship before you want sex. Which is okay. Never let yourself be pressured into something you don't feel comfortable with, Sex is not the be-all and end-all. Intimacy takes many forms. You don't have that type of feelings for this woman - so don't go there...

[karvala]

Experience and familiarity.

[FathomFear]

If you get too hung up on the idea of it being a "performance" than the feelings you describe are bound to happen. I think this is a mentality that straight guys in particular fall into, as they tend to see everything as a competition or game. Ultimately you need to focus more on the enjoyment and spontaneity of the act. It's not a test or evaluation where you will be scored afterwards. Just relax, have fun, and focus on giving you and your partner enjoyment. If you do that I suspect everything will fall into place.

[hexaemeron]

Sex is nothing to be afraid of, not being able to get it is.

[zootalures]

Sex is nothing to be afraid of, not being able to get it is.

 

 

 

Though that can become a "performance issue" in and of itself which can make life suck more than it has to. Just live your life, seek out sex if you desire it and as much as dry spells do suck, remember that inability to find a willing partner is not the end of the world (I really should take my own advice!