Meeting the ex tomorrow. What to do?

[BackToYou]

She finally called me yesterday after playing mind games with me for three weeks. I posted a thread about this week ago . She asked to meet me today but I told I was busy so I suggested to meet her tomorrow. She said she`s very busy tomorrow but rescheduled her plans so she can meet me.

We have been broken up now for 6,5 months and NC for about 10 weeks.

Last time we met up, it ended me to beg her back and she gave me a cold shoulder, was not in love with me, did not see a future with me, wanted to be a friends blah blah. I told her I couldn`t be friends with her now and most likely not even in a future. I initiated NC immediately after that meeting.

 

So she MUST know what I want. I admit she had a lot of courage to call me and ask me out. I could hear from her voice she was afraid to call me and she sounded very very happy to meet me. I was a bit confused so I did not ask her for a reason to meet up.

 

I just don`t know what to expect. I am now emotionally in control, looking good and feeling quite happy with myself. I can live without her in my life but I am still interested in giving a second chance to a relationship. She said last time that things should progress naturally and not by forcing her. So she`s not going to say "sorry, I made a mistake. I want you back" (BUT she has admitted she made a mistake).

 

So how to play this right? Should I ask her a reason why she wants to meet me? Or just go with no expectations and see where things lead?

[DN]

Let her tell you what she wants - and guard your heart here. Go in with no expectations. When you talk, talk about general things, and especially how well you are doing in your life but do not bring up the relationship at all, do not tell her you want her back and do not ask her how she feels.

 

If she doesn't bring up the relationship by the end of the meeting do not look disapointed or hint in any way, even with body language that you want her back. remain cheerful and happy at all times.

 

If she asks to meet again - answer casually but non-specifically i.s. something like "yes, it would be nice to catch up again sometime".

[FootofGod]

Don't be surprised if it's a downer, though. I always tell myself "that person must know what I want," but sometimes they know, they just frankly don't care what you want out of it.

[BackToYou]

Yeah, I have a bad feeling about the meeting, can`t help it. This is her final chance to show at least some changes in her feelings towards me. I am not expecting her to confess her love to me but if she`s just trying to friendzone me, I`m going to cut her off my life - again. I know her well, so it will be pretty easy to recognize. But I am not going to bring up the relationship or ask her back. Or at least I do my best

[BackToYou]

I just came back home from a meeting. She hugged me first (first time after bu) and then spent 4 hours together (maybe too long?). I told how well things are for me at the moment and how happy I am with my life. There was no akward moments which was surprising considering that we haven`t talk to each other for over 2 months. Well now the best part. While there was no actual relationship talk, she said every now and then how much she misses me. She said there`s no one who could come even close to me as a bf and I am the only one who could ever understand her deeply. She cried a few times while she told me this things. I took this with a grain of salt and guarded my heart the best I could but remained positive and friendly to her. When was time to say goodbye she gave me a very long hug and leaned her head on my chest and cried a little. She wanted to meet me at friday and go out ( there is a mid summer holiday here in scandinavia and people go out and celebrate this). I told her I would call her if I don`t have other plans.

 

So the meeting went better than expected, I guess. I acted like DN recommended ( thanks btw) and tables have turned now, that`s certain. I stayed calm and positive and didn`t show her any feelings or told I want her back. It´s amazing how well NC works. I would have never believe it. It helped me to heal and move on while it made her realize what`s life without me. BUT we are not back together yet so what now? Is it too soon to meet her at friday? How did this meeting look to you?

[DN]

I think you handled it really well. I advise phoning her back and saying you are free on Friday and what did she have in mind to do if you did meet.