katyg79 Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Hi My ex was fooling around on line, we were together 2 years and was a month away from moving in together, i found out and i guess the rest is history, he did the whole i love you but not in love with you routine. he has been on and off with contact and we have been friends on facebook. He was obviously hiding something and last night i found out that he is now in a relationship with one of the girls he met on line. I feel like my heart has been ripped out all over again. I suffer from bipolar so this is really not a good day. I am shaking and uncontrolable crying. I have contacted him to ask him to explain but his phone was off, i have since blocked him off my phone. I think the best thing i can do is release all contact.. i do want answers but i am making myself so poorly right now. I guess there is nothing i can do but move on. all i can think about is sleeping and not waking up - io am happiest asleep. k x Link to comment
luminousone Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Katy, Just take care of yourself... Sounds like you did the right thing -- it is best to maintain NC. Talking with him about it is just going to pour salt into your wounds. It does hurt. But sometimes some people jump from one relationship to another, because they get lonely. Anytime you feel like contacting him, just come here and post instead! Believe me, it helps. And there are so many people here who are supportive! If sleeping helps, then sleep... I felt like doing the same, and pulled the covers up over my head and cried each and every day. But after a period of time I finally realized that I had to take care of myself and my life and I had to create my own happiness. I forced myself to get up and do the dishes each day, exercise, laundry, errands, etc. It helps to do all of those mundane things. Then get yourself out there to meet new people. Join a gym, a book club, a church or synagogue, or volunteer at a hospital or homeless shelter. It will take time for you to heal. But as time goes on, you will begin to notice little tiny joys around you. maybe just simple joys at first, but once you get into an appreciative mood for your life, it is hard to be down in the dumps as much. Today I am appreciative for the sunshine that finally made its way here, and for almost a year cancer free! Yes, it sucks that your bf was messing around online, and it sucks that your life did not turn out the way you thought it would. But in time you will begin to appreciate not having a bf who is not trustworthy. And you can focus your energies into attracting a man who is loving and accepting, truthful and honest, caring and fun, etc. Link to comment
luminousone Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Oh yeah, and btw Good luck to the new gf -- he'll probably do the same thing to her Link to comment
stay_positive Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 Sorry you had to go through that... my ex and I broke up a month ago and I have mostly good days but I'm so dreading the day he starts seeing someone new. Just don't keep in contact with him and the pain will dull. I wish you the best and I'm here if you need to vent! Link to comment
katyg79 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 i did something silly whilst i was angry last night, i sent a message to his new girlfriend telling her to watch out. I am not a nasty person and this is totally out of character, should i apologise? or leave it be. I was hurting so much last night, and i still am but i think i will look a bit crazy now i have never done anything like this before in previous relationships, i guess i am hurting too much and the anger poured out of me, i know it isnt her fault. Link to comment
Belle Posted June 14, 2010 Share Posted June 14, 2010 You're hurting yourself by acting this way. This just makes him feel better about his decision because yes, he's going to say you're crazy. It might be best just to unfriend him and really just move on. You can't change what's happening, but you can protect yourself. It's not worth the drama. Trust me. Link to comment
katyg79 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 i know feel worse thinking i am crazy, he has made me this way constantly throughout our relationship. Shouting and being abusive towards me and making everything my fault. NO MORE!!! i have to be stronger than that otherwise i will make myself worse and send myself mad. any tips or advice or simply same experiences swould help. THanks in advance Link to comment
katyg79 Posted June 14, 2010 Author Share Posted June 14, 2010 he called me tonight understanding what i did and why, we said our final goodbyes but he commented that in a few months he will contact me and see how i am doing, i asked him not to but said he is anyway and that he is sending me a birthday card! also, he mentioned his new girlfriend and him have been together three weeks (2 weeks after we separated so that was waiting around!) but she was blowing hot and cold so dont know where it will go. not sure if i am more annoyed than before. i think i need to let go now Link to comment
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