nothing ever changes..

[that--girl]

my boyffriend and i have had an on again off again relationship for two years now. we've always fought but lately its been really bad im sick of the fact that he still cant open up to me and all ever says is give him time but honestly i dont feel things will change and i cant understand why he cant open up with me because im always very open with him we just got into a fight today and he said us fighting is the reason he's so closed and it pushes him away everytime..i was floored and i couldnt believe he said that its like he doesnt realize that in relationships people fight and they solve things or come to a compromise but we cant do any of that because he stays closed and makes me feel like i have to watch my tongue because if i say something that starts an argument then im pushing him away and i dont like feeling that way. i feel like im in a onesided relationship because he doesnt communicate with me well and he obviously doesnt trust me. sometimes i think im just going back to him because of our history, my fear of being alone and the fact that its hard for me to be mean even though it is the truth i dont like hurting people even if it is for the best. i dont know what i should do i know im never going to find the perfect guy but should i deal with this?

[misssmithviii]

I think you need to really listen to your bf, he probably feels like he can't speak because you won't give him the chance. He already explained why he has trouble opening up and speaking to you, and you refuse to accept that and support him. I understand where you're coming from and I know exactly how you feel trust me, but the best thing to do is to work on easing the strain in the relationship.

 

Let him know that IT'S OK that he needs time, let him know that you won't pressure him anymore and it's worth being with. Tell him you'd like him to try, but you won't demand it of him as that only works against the process.

 

Next time you two have an argument, work on what you say to him and how you express yourself - really listen to what you say and you just might understand why he's so hesitant. Even the way you speak to him matters.

 

Support him. There are far worse things in a relationship ^_^ If you truly believe you don't want to help him thru this, then don't and I guarantee the relationship will severely suffer.

[_Asti_]

Are you happy with this relationship?

Can you see yourself spending the next 5 years in the circumstances?

 

No one is perfect, but his behaviour is questionable. Arguments and fights will happen, but its how a couple resolves them and works through them that really make a difference.

 

It won't get better [unless you both make an effort], and odds are he won't change...its been two years and nothing has changed. The fact that he blames you for his inability to not be able to open up is what gets me. Have you asked what works for him?

You can find someone much better suited for you, someone that meets your needs.

 

You aren't happy, and you shouldn't have to DEAL with anything in a relationship. Thats called settling.

 

You're young, and the length of time you've been together shouldn't be a factor when it comes to deciding to stay with someone. You stay with someone because they make you happy, its worth it, you see a future with them.

[catfeeder]

What, specifically, do you want him to say that he's not saying or do that he's not doing?