Very empty inside

[Archer]

Hello all.

 

I have just been feeling down the last few months but now it is really bad right now I feel if I were hollow and if I to go to sleep right now that I would just fade away and cease to exist.

I don't want to hurt myself or start but just need some advice to get rid of this feeling it's starting to drag me down .

 

Thanks

[JonnyG]

I feel in the same boat mate. My life seems to be crumbling. I don't know what to say, except u are not alone

 

U could do with explaining a bit more about your current situation.

[moviestr]

Look out the window and look around. . .see what it is that makes you happy, makes you laugh, and makes life worth living. Think about the positive aspects of yourself; everybody is unique and different and has a special purpose in life.

 

Go out and do something. Distract yourself from negative thoughts by doing some activity. Do you have any hobbies? Do you play sports or exercise? What helps me feel good about myself and express myself and release tension, is dancing. I started taking a lot of classes and now I don't feel normal without them.

 

Get lost in a book or a relxaing walk in nature.

 

Hang out with friends or family.

 

You didn't mention whether or not there was a specific event that has ignited your depression, but in any case, you can always seek counseling just to at least talk to someone face to face who won't judge you. Therapy can really help by allowing you to express yourself.

 

Just hang in there, buddy. Anytime you need advice or just want to vent, you can seek out this forum. That's what it's for.

 

-moviestr

[ydubel]

I applaud you for reaching out before you entered self-destruct mode. That is a very good indicator!

 

Well, first I think you need to examine what's really going on. Why are you down? I suspect there's a need not being met and you don't know how to address it other than to escape.

 

That is certainly a set of options, but as you mentioned not the best ones.

 

But you wanted advice about what to do instead. As I said start to examine what's really going on. To begin look at your unmet needs...what do you need that you feel is missing right now?

 

Second, what makes you feel good....energized or excited about life and being you? That's what you need to do instead just to get out of the rut.

 

If you feel at loss on that last one I'd suggest you start by looking at what you like about being you. What are the attributes you prize the most in yourself? What do you see as your weaknesses?

 

After you've done that you're getting close to having your recovery blueprint. The next step is a plan to improve yourself...build yourself up so that you KNOW that you are stronger than any problem or nagging depression.

 

Our experiences come from our perceptions so that is where we must begin looking for solutions.

 

I hope this is helpful to you. Stay in touch and take care of yourself....You deserve it.

 

Be well,

Y. Dubel

[Archer]

Thanks for the quick responses

 

 

A little more of what is happening.

Last year I put all of my credit cards in a credit counseling company to get them paid off faster (at the time it seemed like a good idea) they told me that it would not affect my credit but I soon found out that it has the same effect as a bankruptsy when we tried to refinance our house to a lower interest rate.

 

Sense then the bills have been pilling up more and more. It's become a vicious circle and the line is getting thinner all the time.

 

I'm felling trapped and less of a person all the time. Every day I seem to lose more ground.

 

I was able at one time to proudly say that I have never been late on a debt in my life, but now I can't (my wife doesn't understand how this hurts me).

 

Right now I am at a total loss of what to do

[daisies]

Dear very sad,

 

It sounds to me like you are depressed. Here are some symptoms of depression; persistent sad, anxious, or "empty" mood, loss of interest or pleasure in activities, including sex, restlessness, irritability, or excessive crying, feelings of guilt, worthlessness, helplessness, hopelessness, pessimism, sleeping too much or too little, early-morning awakening, appetite and/or weight loss or overeating and weight gain, decreased energy, fatigue, feeling "slowed down", thoughts of death or suicide, or suicide attempts, difficulty concentrating, remembering, or making decisions, persistent physical symptoms that do not respond to treatment, such as headaches, digestive disorders, and chronic pain.

 

Reaping the benefits of treatment begins by recognizing the signs of depression. The next step is to be evaluated by a qualified professional.

 

Speaking from experience, as I was once diagnosed as clinically depressed, is to ensure your mind, body and spirit function as one. I didn't overcome depression with medication (against the advice of my doctor of course) but by forcing myself to keep my mind, body and spirit in tact. That for me included, excersice (jogging), eating right, going to church every week, and praying. The excersice will get your endorphines going which will help your mind and body, essentially making you feel good inside because you'll start to look good too. Depression is an ugly disease that needs treatment just like you would diabetes or cancer. People who have never suffered from it find it hard to understand that you can't just snap out of it. It will take a lot of work on your part. I'm not sure how religious you are, but that's how I started...praying everyday...sometimes 3 or 4 times a day, just to make it through. The Lord answered my prayers and gave me the motivation to get out there and excercise. I started reading too and read a very good book if I might suggest..."The Purpose Driven Life." It can really put your life into perspective.

 

I hope you take my advice as it has changed my life. Take care and know you aren't alone.

[ydubel]

Now that you explain I can see why you feel compelled to escape....but that would be counterproductive.

 

I would suggest you begin examining strategies to get out of the financial situation b/c that will probably do the most good for your mental/emotional state.

 

Have you considered any means of producing extra income that would also tie in with any interests or talents you have. Perhaps a homebased business with minimal startup costs. The more work you can do yourself to get it off the ground the more your costs would be reduced.

 

I totally understand the toll that financial problems can take on your emotional well being. The only solution that seems to matter is getting more income. It sounds like nothing else is really going to make you feel any better.

 

This is just an idea that I think you should look into more if it interest you....consider this....if you start a business and decide to say incorporate that can give you a new start financially. You can establish a whole new credit history and begin rebuilding.

 

If you'd like some ideas on where to start with a homebased business feel free to contact me and I'd be happy to pass along some resources. There's tons of free ones you can use to get you started and then upgrade when volumn (and your budget) allow it.

 

Be well,

Y. Dubel

[Archer]

ydubel

 

 

LOL it's funny that you would say that because I am curently working three jobs my first job is family owend that my father started twenty years ago the second is my own in the metal fabrication industry and the third is a cook at a nearby BBQ house.

 

This has helped but it is still not enuf.

[ydubel]

Well, since you're doing all you can to bring in more money the other part of the equation you didn't really address (from what you've posted) is replenishing your spirit.

 

If you're working three jobs you probably don't feel there's any room for you in your life. Can you find the space/time to do something that does make you feel good but doesn't place demands on your resources?

 

Maybe just taking a walk or sitting in a scenic area to relax. Your feelings of depression will only get worse if you ignore it....your innerself is trying to tell you something. Perhaps you need to show yourself some love and affection by doing something to cheer yourself up.

 

I think this is really important based on what you've shared b/c my guess is that you're feeling that nothing you do is enough.

 

Hang in there and keep in touch. There's always solution, just don't stop searching until you find it.

 

Wishing you only the best,

Y. Dubel

[Archer]

Thanks for the help.

 

I think one thing that has helped allot is just being able to talk(type) to people that are open and helpful not judgmental.

 

I am doing a little better now but am still down I am taking three or four days off to go camping, and to take a steep back to look at what's going on in my life and see what I can change or what I can do different.

[ydubel]

It sounds like you are on the right track and I'm delighted to hear it!

 

Please drop a line when you get back. I think it would be good for you and any readers to take this small step towards not making the sad things that happen more important than the good things.

 

Celebrate any clarity that results from your inquiry. You'll get the answers you seek.

 

Be well and ENJOY yourself!

Y. Dubel

[Kittengirl]

Hi Archer,

Just reading your last post has told me that you may be down but by no means out, you shouldn't be so hard on yourself. Working 3 jobs is hard enough without feeling like a failure. There are many many people in your position who have been ill advised financially but you cannot give up, you mention a wife so you hopefully have support even if she can't see why you are so upset by all this. Camping is a great idea; it doesn't cost the earth and allows you to appreciate the simpler things in life that don't necessarily have to be another financial drain. Like the previous post I would love to hear how you're doing. Lets face it, things can only get better! Good luck.

[Archer]

Well A new job and a chang of pace has helped for now.

 

I got a job at a local coal mine ](*,) very bad mistake.

It only took me three months to quit that one.

 

But now I drive a tanker truck for an oilfield company and am a lot happer now.

 

I still get down sometimes but only for a day or two and then it gets better.

 

Thanks for the help