30 Year Old Loser

[thinovate]

Almost 31 actually, and still living at home. My attraction to him 347 days and counting...can't seem to screw my head back into place and see the worst in him. I notice his flaws, as we are all human and imperfect. Or were we once perfect until someone bittered us? It's hard to see the bad in people, when you somehow know they are truly (or could truly be) a magnificent person. I can only imagine how great he could be.

 

I'm a bright person, but not bright enough if I purposely choose to stay in the dark about all the times he did me wrong. When he used me, my body, and wanted nothing from my mind. Gave me a]pinch of time. And what's worse is that I knew I was not the only one yet still hoped for more during the time I was using him too. But he was using me a different way, than I was using him. And since we are not tied, I choose not to make a big deal about the other women.

 

It's like a silent agreement between two women who know they are after the same thing, and happened to have slept with the same person. The smart women don't make a big deal out of this because they are secure in their own, and have a silent understanding and peace with the other woman. Cats fight; Lionesses walk with pride and dignity. Recently the two Lionesses had a chat, and discovered that our Handsome Lover apparently has a girlfriend-LDR. Apparently I was "aware" of this, said a Liar. It's been going on for longer than either one of us has known him. Or i suppose "chasing" him. I'm thrown. I knew nothing. And it's not that I don't "care," but I'm just not bothered by it as I thought I would be. Or maybe my rivalry was surprised at how well i took it.

 

I'm sorry. I don't really know where I'm going with this. I just feel so disappointed that men never seem to mature at any age. 22 or 30...1. I'm older and wiser it seems, and he? I'm almost at 365 days of waiting but not-really waiting. I guess...hoping? ](*,)

[IvantheAvg]

 

It's like a silent agreement between two women who know they are after the same thing, and happened to have slept with the same person. The smart women don't make a big deal out of this because they are secure in their own, and have a silent understanding and peace with the other woman. Cats fight; Lionesses walk with pride and dignity. Recently the two Lionesses had a chat, and discovered that our Handsome Lover apparently has a girlfriend-LDR. Apparently I was "aware" of this, said a Liar. It's been going on for longer than either one of us has known him. Or i suppose "chasing" him. I'm thrown. I knew nothing. And it's not that I don't "care," but I'm just not bothered by it as I thought I would be. Or maybe my rivalry was surprised at how well i took it.

 

This is some really good writing on the upside. Trade hope for possibilities...less pressure that way and you keep your mind open.

[LifeGoesOn09]

Well once I read he has a LDR girlfriend my conclusion is this guy is a straight up c word. God I can't believe women continue to go for guys like this. Absolutely nuts!! You know I really don't know whose more to blame - you or him! The very fact you're still with him is just endorsing his behaviour.

[LightbulbSun]

Why is he still living at home? Does he have a job? Is he caring for a sick family member? Is he a Mama's boy?

 

You haven't elaborated, other than calling him a loser for living at home at 30 (which doesn't make him a loser, btw), so I don't know whether to take this post seriously or not.

[LifeGoesOn09]

I dunno women end up with some prime fn losers so at least she's honest enough to admit she fallen for one lol.

[LightbulbSun]

Yeah, but just because he lives at home, doesn't make him a loser.

 

I admittedly skimmed over the OP's post. However, now I read the part about the 'other women'...okay, NOW he's a loser. And OP, you could do a lot better than him; if he's cheated once, he's going to continue to cheat. You can't change what's in a person's heart.

 

I'd lose this guy, and find someone who wants only you.

[LifeGoesOn09]

Yeah, but just because he lives at home, doesn't make him a loser.

 

Now if he was an abusive jerk who was a pothead and swore all the time and didn't work and hit her, yes, then he would be a loser. However, if he lives at home, works or goes to college, and contributes to the household and is an upstanding citizen...no, he isn't a loser.

 

I was a 27 year old living at home before I moved out, and I got plenty of crap for that. I don't understand it; in this economy, not everyone can afford an apartment, and some people have sick family members to take care of. Not everyone was born with a rich daddy.

Nah its cool man - I'm down with that. Whatever your background you need to proud of it however some guy whose apparently cheating on a girlfriend with two other guys is a straight up loser plus c word to boot!!

[LightbulbSun]

Nah its cool man - I'm down with that. Whatever your background you need to proud of it however some guy whose apparently cheating on a girlfriend with two other guys is a straight up loser plus c word to boot!!

 

LifeGoesOn, read my edited post. I admittedly didn't read the whole post of the OP, so I missed all that. And I agree, he IS a loser, and she should dump him.

[thinovate]

We are not really together. I wanted to be, but obviously that is not going to work. I didn't want this to be long post, so i didn't really include hard facts on what makes him a loser. I'm a very understanding person. I realize things happen and it's not fair to judge people without knowing the reason behind it. If possible, it's best not to judge at all. His parents are well, and he works full time so i am sure he contributes something. He already graduated college years ago. From my understanding he moved back in after he and his last serious relationship (which one?? Now i have no clue), failed. They were living together so he moved back in when it ended. But i am very sure this has been way over a year...a year should be enough to get back on your feet. When i first approached him (yes, i hit on him), he looked like he was 23 or 24. Never in my life would I approach someone who is 30. That age group seemed to scare me, as though we are too far apart in life experiences and now that I know all that I know...the age doesn't phase me. It's just disappointing.