summerchild692003 Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Im eighteen years old, and my bf is sixteen years old, & i want 2 get married, but he is saying he isnt ready yet, & im like should i give up & not ask or hint 2ward it again? i dunno wut 2 do... jennie (aka ) Link to comment
avman Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Your boyfriend is underage so he could not get legally married. Plus he is too young and not mature enough to make that kind of decision yet. Give it time and let your relationship mature. Then you can decide if you are ready to be committed to each other. avman Link to comment
sinnerboy Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 hi, well i think that you are too young to get married. right now you should enjoy your life, go out, party do what people your age are doing. believe if you get married right now you will regret it later on in life. good luck ps stop pressuring you bf about it. Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Uh...don't get married. No offense, but at 18/16 neither of you is truly ready for the real responsibilities of marriage. It is NOT a lifelong honeymoon, or a guarantee of security, or a way to be "happy forever". Marriage takes commitment even when the last thing you feel like doing is working on it and committing. If you get married now...one or both of you will be missing out on chance to develop yourselves, your relationship and to mature as two complete & independent people and this will cause deep problems later on. Marriage and lifelong commitment (which is what marriage SHOULD be) takes a lot of maturity, respect, and friendship - it is about more than "love" alone. By your post...I am going to say you have farther to go until you are there. Link to comment
Mix Maxster Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 So does that mean that the first persons to date get screwed over? I'm just wondering because with experience does that mean that we become a thing of the past? You say one is too young because they do not have enough experience to be 100% sure because they can marry someone and wonder what could have been with someone else. but does that mean that you miss your chance because you date at a young age or who knows? Link to comment
RayKay Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 So does that mean that the first persons to date get screwed over? I'm just wondering because with experience does that mean that we become a thing of the past? You say one is too young because they do not have enough experience to be 100% sure because they can marry someone and wonder what could have been with someone else. but does that mean that you miss your chance because you date at a young age or who knows? I am going to guess that the 16 year old is pretty less than 100% sure! No chance is missed, but they STILL need time to grow. They can do that together...but no reason to get married to do it. I think too many people have an idyllic vision of marriage and what it is about...I believe in it, but I believe it is more than a romantic ending and a fancy wedding and a lifelong honeymoon! Link to comment
VPixie Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 See, I was engaged at 17. When I turned 18 I was still in love and still ready to get married. I moved in with my 23 year old boyfriend and we lived happily ever after. Until 7 months after we moved in together, I saw that there were a lot of opportunities I didn't plan on having that conflicted with my engaged mindset. You can't be mobile when you are engaged. You can't move anywhere you want, you can't make any friends you want to make, you have to be responsible to your spouse. I don't mean doing what ever he says, but being considerate, making time for him (her), putting them first. 18 is the first time in a persons life when they get to put themself first. not parents, siblings, school, its all about what you want to do. Having a marraige in the middle of that limits your opportunity. at 16 and 18 you don't know where you are going to be in 5 years, and you wouldn't even be able to start to guess. So how do you know if you will find a $150000/yr job on the other end of the country, or have a whole new set of friends in 2 years that your husband may not like. What if you decide you want to be a high powered lawyer, but your new spouse just wants to work at starbucks all his life? It happens. My Fiance was heartbroken when I left him. But I met so many people who were so much more driven and successful, and insigtful and just in totally different worlds. I couldn't have brought him with me into those worlds. Link to comment
sprkal Posted June 17, 2004 Share Posted June 17, 2004 VPixie's experience seems all too familiar. I dont think anyone is ready for a LIFELONG committment if they say that they are not. Whether your boyfriend is 16, or 46, it doesnt matter, if he doesnt want to then you should definitely not pressure it. Looking at it from an age perspective, he is too young to be married, at 16 you are still half a kid at heart! And you yourself are probably too young for this also. If you are intent on getting married, maybe its time to find someone who is prepared to make that sort of committment. Link to comment
ReadyorNot Posted July 3, 2004 Share Posted July 3, 2004 Hi Everyone..... Well... Im 24 years old and so is my bf..... We have been together for 4 years..... When we first got together he got me an engagement ring and askedme to marry him... It was obviously way too soon and I told him I would just wear the ring as a promise ring for now..... I wear it everyday.... About a year ago, maybe longer he put an engagement ring on layaway for me. It was the most beautiful ring ever.... we ended splitting up and he got his money back.... but soon after he told methat I meant everything to him and he just knew he wanted to be with me forever and marry me someday..... So we are back together.... I always knew we were gonna get married but not for awhile... Maybe by the time we are 27.... My best friend is getting married and I have been a little down... and talking about marriage alot... he didnt seem to impressed and he says I talk about it way too much.... I asked him if he wanted to get married and he says, "yes but not for awhile".... tonight he got a ticket for having a loud muffler and he was in a bad mood.... he started telling me that he never wants to get married and he most likely will never want to have kids..... My heart is broken... is he serious???? Should I break up with him even though I love him to death, or shoudl I just wait it out.... maybe in 2 or 3 years his opinion will change? Link to comment
Depressed186 Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 A girl and guy yalls ages should not worrie even about the opposite sex, have fun, go out party, hang out with your friends and especially your family, althought most importantly concentrate on SCHOOL!!! and education is more important than anything. i made that mistake, i mean i did my fair share of partying and i didnt do too good in school, i dropped out cause i was on drugs, and i was dating "the coolest guy on earth" haha yea right...so yea concentrate on your SCHOOL WORK, family and friends, its not worth it if you blow it all away!!! Link to comment
June4life Posted July 6, 2004 Share Posted July 6, 2004 Hmm, I really do believe that love has no age. But seriously, he's only 16 and not ready for marriage. Just be happy dating!! Im 17, my boyfriend is 20, and we always talk about marriage. As a matter of fact, my boyfriend said he's proposing to me when I'm a sophomore in college! That way I'll be 21, and he'll be 24, and we'll both be financially stable enough to have a house or apartment. We both have plans for the future. He has graduated from a 2 year school and is taking tests for police departments. Im a senior in high school, so I have college to be thinking about. thereforeeee my bf and I are just going to be dating and enjoying one another until we are both ready for marriage! Just enjoy dating, if its meant to be, you guys will be together until you are both ready to get married. Dont just jump into it!!! Link to comment
summerchild692003 Posted January 20, 2008 Author Share Posted January 20, 2008 honestly now that it's been 4 years since this thread has started...I dated him for almost 4 years and instead of going any further he just dumped me on his birthday!!! We went on a break as my way of getting over him, then I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he didn't want to be with anyone so I said that it was over and to have a nice life. Ya...he dumped me on aug 21,07. I'm with a new guy and Jan 25,08 will be 3 months and honestly my new guy treats me so much better than the other did... I was just blind.... but I'm happy now.... Alex(the ex) and I are friends... but nothing more, and I made it clear I wouldn't take him back ever. Eric(my current bf) is the best thing that has ever happened to me.... and to think I waited 4 years to date him!!!! Anyway.... just an update ttyl guys!! p.s why would i want to stay with a guy who doesn't love me? I mean seriously...plus he just left for the military so the break up was bound to happen. He was in love with the girl I use to be, not the woman I have become. I don't know... I did kiss him to see if I made the right decision....which I realized that I did make the right decision in letting him go, but I wanted the closure I guess... Now on to eric.... I've known him since highschool...only we NEVER dated until recently... I wanted him to ask me out but he was to shy and quiet so I thought he wasn't interested. Now.... 4 years later... I see him in McDonalds drive thru and I'm like holy * * * * he's HOT!!! and all the feelings that I bottled away for him finally opened up again... it was... interesting cause we started hanging out more at college, THEN...after I was officially single... I really started to go after him... I thought he was hot... and I still do....and to be honest... I never loved Alex like I do Eric...with Alex I had a hole in my heart, but with Eric I feel complete..like he's he one I've been waiting for. It's totally weird how that works out huh? It's funny Oct 25, 07 at 4:00pm Eric said yes to me asking him out... heheheheh I win!!!! and I'm fnally with the right guy!!! Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted January 20, 2008 Share Posted January 20, 2008 Hi. I am glad that you found happiness. Thanks for the update! Link to comment
missbexxi Posted January 22, 2008 Share Posted January 22, 2008 tbh why should you rush into marriage... surely if you want to get married ou are planning on spending the rest of your lives together, there fore you have the rest of your life to marry him Link to comment
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