Making the first step

[MACaddict]

I have a dilema. I have been thinking about it for quite a long time and I am looking for some advice. My ex-s sister and I have been close but not the closest, only that when her brother and I have split up some unkind words were said on her side towards me. I feel pretty self conscious now about the things she said about me and I think about it everyday. Last we talked was when she emailed me to thank me for her Christmas present, but I was so hurt by the things she said to me that I never replyed. Now her b-day is coming up in July and I am wondering if I should write her a quick email or not, wishing her happy birthday. I want to show her that I have some class and that I am capable of forgetting and being a good person.

 

Should I email her or not, even though her bro and I are no longer???

 

Thanks

[Nomadic Intent]

Has she corresponded with you ever since - when was the last? Christmas? I wouldn't recommend trying to contact someone who clearly doesn't want to be in contact with you.

 

Also, you still feel hurt about what she said about you. So why do you have the need to show her you're the better person?

[Citlali]

^I have to agree. I really hate it when people not in a relationship make judgments based on ONE side of the story, even if in this case he is her brother. If she hasn't tried contacting you, then she has no interest in you as a person. She only contacted you because you gave her something and she probably wanted to just get it over with. Don't contact her, as that won't fix anything on your side. Just work on not feeling hurt about what she said and move on from both of them.

[MACaddict]

You both are right. Thanks. There are days when I think that she could go to h*** and I could not care less. For a long time while I was with her bro she acted so unkind towards me and constantly being annoying and at the end, she confirmed to me that she hated me for some reason.

 

She does not even deserve being on my mind that much. Their mom emailed me but she could go to h*** too.

[Citlali]

I can relate, actually. The first guy I was with, for 6 years, had a bratty little sister. I knew that girl since she was 12 and was 18 by the time her brother and I broke up. I tried so hard to be nice to her. I would convince her brother to give her rides when he didn't want to, would buy her gifts for her birthday and Christmas, fish when hers died and she was sad just so she'd be happy, and even talked to her mom about her when I knew she was going down the wrong path. I cared about her, but as time passed, she became really selfish and eventually just acted bratty toward me too. I finally had to come to terms with the fact that she was in her own world and still too immature to realize what she was doing and that I shouldn't waste my time being upset about it. As far as I know, she is still that way. So you see, we need not waste time with people who don't reciprocate our kindness or friendship.