Moments of Acceptance?

[jenna-is-here]

I am in week 7 of breakup after 4+ living together.

 

Once or twice a day for about an hour or so I stop and realize I am completely calm and okay. I dont feel sick about things. I think possibly I am starting to accept this new reality.

 

I dont know if I am having moments of clarity that I am just fine without him OR if they are moments of self-numbing to protect myself so I dont feel all the awful feelings anymore.

 

I know you cant exactly say what I am feeling but has anyone experienced anything similiar? What was it in the end? Does the acceptance ebb and flow?

[loulou37]

hey jenna, you sound just like me...i think we're getting used to the idea now, i've felt totally like that today, maybe this is the end to the suffering, i sure hope so, i'll soon see when i wake up in the morning and i don't feel that acid burn through my body.

[fearless31]

hi jenna - i think you are beginning on a bit of a breakthrough. i, like you, lived with my BF and moved out after 5 years together/2 years living together. in the beginning i was still living in our house, with his dog and all of his stuff, while he was at a friends place. at this point i was in DENIAL. only when i actually packed up and moved to a place did i realize what was going on. after about a month in my own place, i started to have small parts in the day where i felt ok - not good - but ok. otherwise it was a constant panicky/anxious feeling. i don't think this is you trying to numb it, i think it's just a small part of you trying to move on.

 

like you said and like i am experiencing now (you responded to my earlier post), all of the stages of grieving are a bit like a roller coaster, the normal ebb and flow. when i started to have these breakthroughs i would feel liberated and i would pray every night that each day that the amount of time i felt better each day would become more and more...and it did. yes, right now i feel like hell again for from what i can see to be no apparent reason, however, i know that soon i will be back on my way to healing.

 

be kind to yourself - you're 7 weeks in but i promise that each week, each month, things will get easier. sometimes i can't see it but then when i look back at where i was in november versus where i am now, i know i've healed. i can actually laugh and concentrate on things other than my ex. i can eat (actually, now i'm trying NOT to gain back the 15 lbs i lost during the breakup - go figure!)

 

anyway, the point of all my blabbering is - i don't think you're a person that would be here if you were just trying to numb the pain. i don't think most of the people on this site do that, because they are here and making an active effort to heal themselves. so that means this feeling you are feeling is the healing. good luck!

[sphx26]

I agree with the posters above. You are here to heal. Based on experience, in every broken heart that I experience, it feels like I will never get over that person... but I did. Think of all the other breakups that happened. Isn't it only normal that you felt like you'd never get over and get them out of your mind? You are not alone. Take care!