Is he asking me out to hangout and catch up on old times or is he asking me out on a real date?

[jazzbarrett]

So an old friend from elementary, middle, and high school and I just found one another on a social networking website. We've been talking for the past 6 months casually, but ever since my recent breakup in February, he's been chatting it up with me more (but only online). Recently, (because I have my # on my page) he texted me asked if I wanted to grab some coffee and "reconnect." He acknowledged that we were both fairly busy, but he wanted "us" to schedule a weekend to hang out. Yup, "weekend." Plus, there is this awesome festival that is coming up that I have never been to, even as a local in my town, and he said he has gone a few times and wanted to check out the event with me.

 

Ever since this text conversation, we have texted one other time and it ended with him making a comment about wanting to definitely see me. Mefites: I have been out of the dating game for years and I've never really dated anyone. The guys I end up with start as boyfriends...so that awkward, but exciting, moment of casually dating has never been an experience I have had.

 

Is this a guy, who I have been good friends with throughout school, FINALLY making a move? We've always been good friends, flirted as young'uns, but nothing ever happened. Every single one of my female friends always commented how jealous they were of our friendship because he never really dated a lot during school. OR, is this him just wanting to catch up? We were good friends, but we were never really close. I mean, we never hung out outside of school, never talked during summer breaks, etc., so I can't imagine him thinking we lost this great connection. And if this is him asking me out....how do I go about avoiding being pinned in the "friend zone?" I won't lie, I've had a crush on him since 6th grade...but that was as a teenager!

[MikNomis]

If it has been a long time since you've seen each other and you've changed (probably by becoming more attractive), then he could totally be trying to go for you. However, it's hard to say by what you wrote what his intentions are, because both friends and interests both do the actions you described.

 

To avoid the friendzone, flirt with him when you go out with him. Make it somewhat obvious without saying it exactly that there is more than a friendship possible when you are out together. See how he responds to that.

[Sonicxman]

I will agree with MN, you need to flirt with him and jokingly say "your not interested in someone like me?" "just think if me and you were together, how terrible of a couple we would be?"ect...

[jazzbarrett]

well, we exchanged #s and have texted three times casually over a week now and he still has not set a date/time when to meet up. but when he does text, he is always considerate and flirty. i think it would be safe to assume this is just a "friends" thing for him. i hate to quote the movie, but i'm pretty sure he's not in to me if he ain't calling me.

[Clarity]

well, we exchanged #s and have texted three times casually over a week now and he still has not set a date/time when to meet up. but when he does text, he is always considerate and flirty. i think it would be safe to assume this is just a "friends" thing for him. i hate to quote the movie, but i'm pretty sure he's not in to me if he ain't calling me.

 

I don't think that's a safe assumption at all. Sometimes people are more comfortable texting or he's worried that you'd rather he text and not call - how is he supposed to know?

 

I think the flirty tones of his texts are indicative of romantic interest, if anything.

[jazzbarrett]

well, every time we text, it's been my initiation. ugh, i hate to overanalyze this, but i know that is exactly what i am doing. i remember him being pretty shy @ school, so i am trying to attest it to that. but he'll text me once or twice and he never gives me any specific information about himself. (ex: how was your weekend? is answered by "too short" and silence for a few days).

[Clarity]

Hmmm, yeah - that doesn't sound too promising.

 

Why not go to this weekend event with him anyway? Worst case you'll have a good time as friends and best case, who knows? It'll be pretty clear if you spend time with him in person whether he's interested or not.

[jazzbarrett]

i would totally go with him this weekend, but he hasn't brought anything up about meeting. and with how he's been just texting (albeit sweet and cute), it really hasn't given me much motivation to make the first move, otherwise i would. i don't mind remaining friends with him, but he was the one that suggested this a week ago, i figured, if he meant it, he would be all gung-ho to suggest it again with the weekend coming up. it's weird though, on facebook, he comments and then deletes his posts before i could read them. i'm not really sure what's going on.