I am thinking about having sex with my boyfreind

[cottoncandyzsxy]

Me and my boyfriend have been going out for over a year, and I think I am ready to have sex with him. I am a virgin, and he isn't. The problem is, we both go to the same church that teaches that it is a sin to have sex before mariage. I know that I will end up having sex before I get married, and I love my boyfriend. We sat down and talked about it, and he just thinks that I am saying it cause I think he wants me to. I really don't know what to do.

[bleeder]

Hi,

 

I think your situation requires some careful thoughts.

 

When you mention that you are ready to have sex with him, are you REALLY ready, emotionally? Or are you doing it just to please him? Maybe with an idea that it would strengthen your relationship?

 

It is nice to have maybe an hour or so of pleasure, but the emotional baggage that comes after that could be too much to bear. If your boyfriend really loves and respects you, he would not compel you to do something which you are not ready for.

 

It's better to save those moments of pleasure for a time when you know that you can have sex without the psychological burdens.

[gogol]

You should never do something while being fully aware that it is a sin. God must come first in your life. If you put God aside, then you are putting the only thing in real control of your life aside. God is the key to all your happiness.

 

Life is a test... a test that lasts for the time of our lives. Time is something we humans call a little sliver of forever. The only puropse in life is to determine our fate of an eternity of heaven or an eternity of hell. There is nothing you can do in life that makes it worth going to hell forever for. thereforeeee, why not sacrifice for this little sliver of forever to earn an eternity of absolute paradice?

 

No matter what God loves you. Please, find Him and talk with him. Make God your top priority in life.

 

Thankyou

[xxatti]

You should never do something while being fully aware that it is a sin. God must come first in your life. If you put God aside, then you are putting the only thing in real control of your life aside. God is the key to all your happiness.

 

You're in controll of your own life. You cant blame God when you do the wrong thing, that's on you. Live your life how you want to, not by the rules of some church that a bunch of people got together and made up one day.

 

As for what to do, bleeder is right. Listen to his advice.

[gogol]

you've seen it...

 

you've been shown both paths...

 

the path to God and the path to satin...

 

choose the right one

[psipro]

Maybe we shouldn't preach and help her with her problem? Its not our place to condemn.

 

I agree with bleeder also, would like to say that if he thinks your doing it just to please him, talk to him. I think I would feel the same way if my g/f made that advance on me at this point in our relationship, I don't know what I would want to hear, I would want her to make the move...

[r3dm4n]

ok sayin that u should save sex for mariage n all , i totally disagree with cause just cause u get a piece of paper sayin ur maried to them dont mean its locve n dont mean its going to last , it should be more about how u truly feel about a person, n if uv been with this guy for over a year n hes a good guy n the two of u are in love , n u feel ready ur self, i would say give it as much thought as possible but it sounds as if uv got the perfect situation, n some one u remember for the rest of ur life for all the right reasons ,

[ComputerGuy]

I'm willing to bet that Adam and Eve had sex at some point, and that back then, considering they were the only two, how could they possibly have been married. Anyway, I'm not a religious person and I see it like this, humans, like all creatures on earth, are a species of animal, sex is a part of that.

 

Enough preaching anyway, if you are having second thoughts at all don't do it. If you really are ok with it, you will have to try to get your boyfriend to understand that YOU want to, and your not just saying it for him.

[psipro]

cause u get a piece of paper

 

Marriage is a promise before god to religious people.

[bleeder]

Good point there Psipro.

[Derek]

There are other options than "intercourse" to show love...

 

Your reasons aren't that compelling...

 

Naturally, two people in love (forming a pair bond) want to get closer and the animal part of ourselves wants to go "all the way" and make like the Discovery channel.

 

But aren't people more than mere animal instincts? Wouldn't we want to try for the ideal instead of accepting second best?

 

Here is a positive point of view:

If you want to have the best sex possible, it is generally found in a committed long time relationship with complete trust and honesty allowing for deep communication and connection on every level. Especially for woman, joining their bodies, emotions, spirits, minds together with their partner is a whole person thing, they don't disconnect it all like guys tend to be able to do (though guys fool themselves sometimes).

Many people call a committed long time relationship with complete trust and honesty ... marriage.

Why not wait for the best? Ask people that had sex before they felt ready, they usually were disappointed, especially women. Usually they just "got it over with". Kinda sad.

 

Here is the negative point of view:

So if you do have sex, are you willing to do all the precautions and talk about all the things you need to?

Like what happens if you become pregnant from the first time? Adoption, abortion or marriage? What birth control are you and he going to use, condoms may not be enough... You asked your doctor about pre-stretching your hymen? You talked to your doctor about this stuff right? You asked about his previous partners, do you know if he is disease free? If you can't talk and handle all those issues as a couple, then maybe you aren't ready to be responsible about sex, let alone have sex.

 

 

 

 

[gogol]

I'm willing to bet that Adam and Eve had sex at some point, and that back then, considering they were the only two, how could they possibly have been married. Anyway, I'm not a religious person and I see it like this, humans, like all creatures on earth, are a species of animal, sex is a part of that.

 

The Bible wasn't created at this time. As far as we know, God intended for them to have sex in order to create the others. The Bible was written by prophets and deciples who were giving Visions by God Himself. It was written (at least the new testimate portion) hundreds of years after Jesus' death. All of the letters and documentaries were compiled and arranged to from the modern day Bible.

 

Don't worry. If you live for God and with God, God will take care of you. You may expirence pain and my have to endure sacrifice in life (no pre-marriage sex), however, an eternity of absolute pleasure makes it far worth it. Make the right decision with God. Pray. God will answer, you just have to look. If you have any questions, feel free to PM me.