i feel behind in my life and lost

[LAYAAN]

well, yes, the title says it all. I don't know what to do about this feeling. How do you cope up with it?

[fLuiD]

What exactly is your goal in life or where do you think you should be at this point of your life?

 

Ask yourself why you are not there yet? Is it because a lack of motivation? A lack of financial income?

[quirky]

I'd be interested to hear more because I feel the same.

[itsallgrand]

I feel that way too, sometimes.

 

I cope with it by reminding myself that I am an individual, unique, and these things are not on some strict time line. We all experience things at different times and in different ways - there is no right way to do it. There is just trying, and learning, and what works for you. You see it more and more as you get a bit older, eh? How everyone has such different things in life and it's all valid in different ways.

 

As for lost, I often feel that way. I felt it much more in my 20s though, I was truly and utterly lost in my emotions and personal world at that time. Now moving into my 30s, I feel a sense of guidance inside that feels like continuity somehow. Like, somehow, I've managed to start to find my own inner compass that has nothing to do with what I was taught or what I experienced or any of it. Just the real me. And that helps a lot. Even though I often don't know where I am going and couldn't tell you what is in store for me down the road all that clearly, it's ok. I know I'll figure it out bc I know what is important to me now.

 

Do you know what is important to you? Focusing in on that + positive action = how i've moved myself out of being a depressive sort of person to one who feels a sense of purpose.

[LAYAAN]

I see men and women around me graduating, getting married, those who are foreign students like me are also getting married, having kids, people are buying houses together, moving in together and I can't even have a stable relationship. I can't tell you how lonely I feel.

I feel like I'm going deeper and deeper into depression. I can't think straight if I'm not on my anti-anxiety medication. There are certain things that I can't mention on this site. I feel so alone, I have noone that I can associate with. I have no one that understands why I feel lonely. I have noone that understands why I feel so anxious. I have no reason to come home to. I just want to die. I have no direction in life. I mainly feel this way because I have no family around. Yes, I have friends, I don't want to bother them. There comes a point in your life when friends don't cut it. You want someone of your own. I was even thinking if I should just move out and get a pet, so I'll have someone to come home to.

The only reason why I didn't commit suicide is because my parents are alive. I don't want to be a reason of their death. I have no apparent reason to continue living life. I don't know what to do. I feel stuck. I really think that if I find love in life, I'll be able to live again. All I've faced in arranged marriage market is rejection. How can someone stand up tall again after so many men have rejected you? Anyone will lose their confidence.

[Hermes]

Tinu:

 

I am sorry you are feeling like this. But, somehow you must try to get out of that "rejection" mode. Maybe it is just as well you were "rejected" in the arranged marriages market, as you might be even unhappier had you been "chosen". Bear with me, as I am unable to even imagine an arranged marriage market!

 

Many people live alone, Tinu. It is not the end of the world. And you may well meet someone suitable. But the "someone" cannot be just ordered up, conjured up, like a milkshake. L.

 

Besides, being happy, non-anxious, cannot, MUST NOT, depend on another person. It is unfair to make another responsible for our own contentment. A recipe for disaster if you go into a marriage or relationship just because you feel depressed, "lonely", alone.

 

I don't know what to suggest. I have read your other threads.

 

Of course there is a reason to continue living.

 

Keep writing here, and I am sure many posters will try to give you some company, even if only in cyber space.

 

H.

[LAYAAN]

Thank you Hermes,

I don't know why I feel this way.

I have switched to a new psychologist and I will be going to see him tomorrow. I hope that he provides some insight.

My major agenda is to let go of this bitterness that I have about getting rejected.

[Hermes]

I sm so glad, Tinu, to hear you are seeing this new psychologist. You deserve better than this sorrowful time you seem to be enduring. Work with the psych, and I bet you will see some vast improvements.

 

When you are feeling like that it is easier said than done to do "positive things", but somehow or other you will need to try. Or rather not try, as in "detach" from the trying.

 

I wish you well.

 

Hermes

[LAYAAN]

Thank you Hermes