My boyfriend hasn't said he loves me?

[nickelbynickel]

I feel as though I really love him.

 

The issue is that at the beginning of the relationship he said "you know many think love is just a myth," and "people think they're in love but when you're in love, it's just that one person. People throw that word around way too much."

 

Then, he told me that this girl talked to him, and told him that her boyfriend didn't love her like she used to. He's like, "she's just 16, and she thinks she's in love. Soo stupid."

 

I'm 16. He's 18.

 

I've 10000000% been in love before. I was SO freaking in love with my last boyfriend and I feel as though, I am falling in love with my current boyfriend. We have been dating 5 months.

 

Should I tell him? I feel crappy when we have sex, even though he doesn't say he loves me. I don't know what to do. He says he likes me more than any other girl he's ever met, and there's no one he'd rather be with. He will send me

[nickelbynickel]

I'm just terrified that the response will be, if I ask him if this could turn into love, something like, "You know how I feel about that." or "We're too young." Or just a blank stare.

[jengh]

I wouldn't ask outright... but if you're in love with him, I don't see anything wrong with telling him you love him. Gage his reaction from there.

[alli]

I think he's smart not to. People really do throw those words around too much. I remember my first bf told me he loved me after only a few weeks. I was 14 or 15.. a freshman in high school. We broke up after 2 months. Not sure why; he never really told me. But now I realize, I never even knew him. I didn't even know he had brothers until earlier this week when I ran accross them on facebook (not that I was stalking him or anything!) but you can't love someone that you don't really know.

 

Now, you guys have been together for a bit. Not a short time, but not a long time, either. I don't think it's impossible for younger people (teenagers) to be in love, but more often than not, it's mostly infatuation. You are so young & you will change so much between now & when you become a young adult.

 

Why is it so important that he says those words anyway? Isn't it more important that a person shows you their love in how they treat you? I've heard of couples who were married half a century or more & the man never said "I love you" more than a handful of times, but they had a happy marriage & he showed his love in his actions & how he treated her.

 

If you feel crappy when you have sex with him, why do you continue doing it? If he really loves you, he will understand that it's too much for you right now. If this is a dealbreaker & he will only stay with you if you have sex with him, maybe he isn't a person you should stay in a relaitonship with.

[turnera]

I know you won't want to hear this, but you are 16. You have at least a good 5 to 10 more years of changing ahead of you. Every year older you get, you will be a different person. Different beliefs, likes, dislikes, attitudes, goals, choice in guys, career paths...you name it, it's going to change. And your body is pushing chemicals through your brain at breakneck speed so that EVERYTHING feels like it's the most important thing you've ever thought about, and every feeling you have - like what you feel is love - is going to feel like the most intense feeling you've ever had - so it must be love right?

 

Telling yourself that you have to be in love with a guy at your age is, well, constricting. You're constricting yourself by believing you have to pick the love of your life at such a young age.

 

I brought my DD19 up to believe that high school is for trying guys on (not physically!), to see what kind of guys you like and are compatible with. I told her that she will have tons of boyfriends because, well, frankly, high school romances don't typically last very long. High school romances are for improving yourself, learning about yourself, and not to be taken seriously. Once you get into college, sure, start getting more serious about guys. For now, just enjoy yourself.

 

And, honestly, if a guy really loved you, he wouldn't be having sex with you when you are 16.

[velvette]

why did you break up with the guy you were 100000000000% in love with? maybe that's why he feels "love" is thrown around too much. I think infatuation--those lovely chemical reactions in the brain!--gets mistaken for love quite often, especially when you're younger and less experienced.

 

I don't think you can really love someone until you've known them for a few years; REALLY known them. through ups and downs. (but there's nothing wrong with thinking you love him! I mean, for all you know, you do) I just think he's pretty smart in his own way, if not a bit cynical and cold. I'd be wary of what made him so bitter at such a young age, lol!

[SocialStigma]

He isn't ready for love yet and although it must hurt you on some level that you are there already and he isn't, it's better this way because if/when he finally DOES say it, you know he means it and isn't just saying it because you're saying it.

 

And yes you are young but my boyfriend and I were also 16 when we fell in love. Lots of people told us it's just puppy love, we wouldn't last outside of high school etc. We're going on 4 years together now so although it's rare, high school romances can last. I also have friends who have been together since they were 13! They are going on 7 years together.