My boyfriend and I broke up 3 months ago. Advice Needed.

[evepm]

We were in a relationship for only 6 months but it was pretty intense. He has kids and I got very involved with them due to the fact that thier own mother didn't want to be a mom. I supported him so much through out the relationship to the point that it became a detriment to myself. I consider myself to be an intelligent woman but I can't understand how I let myself get into that position or why I continue to have any contact with him. He thought that it would be a great idea to remain friends only he is so codependent. When I have tried no contact he gets very needy and that leaves me feeling guilty if I'm not there for him. I keep telling myself that he's a big boy a can take care of himself but I'm beginning to think that i have my own codependence issue. He has made it clear that he does not want to get back together and at this point I feel the same. The problem is that I don't think that you can jump from a realtionship to a friendship and alot of times after I speak with him or see him, I end up depressed. We have been there for each other since our break up but I am having a hard time finding a healthy friendship with him. It sounds so easy when someone says just stop talking to him but I feel very torn. PLEASE HELP!

[odysseus77]

You HAVE to cut it off, no matter how hard it is....my ex wanted to be "best friends" after our brake up...i told her no way in hell...that stuff only works on TV, in real life, someone gets real hurt....so i cut her off, no matter how difficult it was for me, i knew i HAD to do it or the pain would only get worse...and dont woory about not being there for him....he aint there for you! good luck

[EatZ]

Like odysseus77 said, start no contact now.

 

One (or both) of you obviously still have feelings for the other. Continuing contact in this hurtful, confusing state will do nothing but compound the pain and prolong the agony. It's comparible to drawing out the break up. Perhaps even misleading or giving a foolish hope to one or BOTH of you that reconciliation might be possible.

 

I'm sorry you're so torn at the moment evepm.

 

Start no contact and keep us posted. We're here for you whenever you need to let it all out. It'll take some time, but you'll get through this. You both will. Don't worry about him, he'll be fine.