I made a mistake in how I responded to my ex

[rebeccafisher2]

After one month of NC from him which started after he called me names and was really horrible, I recieved an email. We have a kid together and he hadnt called to ask how he was in a month.

 

His email apologised for some things, and talked about what he thought went wrong in our relationship. I responded ..thank you for your email, I appreciate what you wrote and understand you needed some time so dont worry..

 

Now i regret sending this!!!!! I wish I had put him straight on what went wrong in our relationship, the ways in which he treated me so badly that he didnt mention in his email, or on the other hand I could have chosen to not respond to the email at all.

 

I am feeling like I came accross as really weak, willing to put up with and forgive any and all * * * * ty behaviour on his part.

 

Any advice??

[DN]

Has he replied to it?

[rebeccafisher2]

DN ... No.

 

 

Its like he was reaching out for some contact with me and I gave it to him. He misses my contact and I give him a hit which is enough for him to be going on with (ie. go back to moving on) until he needs another hit and he will contact me again. I feel like I am, in effect, helping him to let go slowly. Thats good for him ... hell get over me, but not good for me. I want him to realise what he lost, not to alleviate all his guilt which is what I essentially did.

[Crazyaboutdogs]

It is never too late to stand up for yourself. With a man like that I am sure he will give you ample opportunity to have to put him in his place. Have you figured out how you want to work visitation and child support? Start looking ahead to making sure he pays his fair share of the bills for your son. Get some legal advice if ncessary. When he comes to see your son sit down and have a business-like chat with your ex and decide how visitation is going to work. See if he is going to want regular visits or if he is going to come and go out of your son's life as he wishes. Forget about what happened in the relationship right now and focus on making sure you and your son are protected from this guy's shenanigans.

[stupidgal]

Rebecca i completely understand where ur coming from about him alleviating his guilt and getting his hit. hmm i need the answer to this too i guess tel him how he makes u feel...if u thought being nice made u weak that probably does ...but telling him how much he hurt u and sincerly how u felt could make him aware and hopefully ashamed of his behaviour and get him to be honest too.