I'm not sure what she wants, and it is driving me crazy.

[Lostbutokay]

I had another thread, but wanted to start a new one to make things clearer. I need some good advice from you guys/girls since I'm going crazy here.

 

-Been with this girl 2 years, engaged for 1 (very quick I do understand) I'm 24, she's 25.

 

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BACKGROUND:

 

Our relationship has always been "good", but we didn't see each other as much as I wished due to school/work. We only saw each other weekends most of the time, but made the best of it. Earlier this month my fiance and I had a great weekend, everything seemed fine. I set up a perfect romantic evening. Then that Tuesday she invited me to her college trip to a museum. We then went home, watched a movie and made love. I usually last pretty long in bed, but for some reason that afternoon it didn't take long ](*,). Afterward she seemed upset and she went on to blame it on the pain medicine I was taking, and asked me why I take them. I told her because they help me. She had told me to stop them about 6 months ago. I was unable too (as most know it is a very tough to stop when you've been on them for a few years due to back problems).

 

 

On the way home she very immaturely won't say a word on the entire trip home. She does cry, and I'm so confused. The next morning I wake up and find the ring on my bedside.

 

 

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CURRENT:

 

After seeing her ring at my bedside I did a little natural pulling. Promising that I'd get clean, but wanted her by my side. IT confused me as to why she was acting so distant etc. She would reluctantly say I love you etc.

 

Eventually I manned up, quit the pills, and am hitting the gym constantly. What I went through was the hardest obstacle of my life. I was dependent for 2 years.

 

I WAS NOT A FULL BLOWN DRUG ADDICT etc. I had back surgery, took them for the pain, they did help with other problems too, and I made sure I never took more than 25mg/day.

 

Anyways, this is where I need the most advice.

 

I blocked her from facebook after one day fighting a few weeks ago. Sent some messages, and then just stopped. Last friday she msged me to call her (she doesn't have a cell phone right now, financial problems). I called, joked around with her etc. Made it quick. Then Saturday I invited her to a BBQ at my cousins house which she never responded too....Guess it was too soon? That Sunday AM she calls me early and tells me she's feeling very ill. I tell her I'll be right over. I come over, we cuddle, make love etc. Good day.

 

Then Tuesday rolls around, she calls me in the AM to come over. I do. Same thing...then I dropped a shell on her. I said "You know this time around I want to build our relationship, have fun, etc." She took it as me getting cold feet! LOL. Sometimes I'll send messages on facebook and she never respond. Or I'll say I love you before I leave and she won't reply.

 

She wants to come over 2nite to drink/hang out with her cousin.

 

It is driving me nuts guys, and IDK what to do.

[bish0p2004]

Well, I can't tell you why she's doing what she's doing (no one can), but I can tell you that for whatever reason, she's pulling away. I would advise you to do the same. It seems like she may be getting ready to break up with you if she already hasn't.

 

You are becoming needy (not so much through your actions, but through your thought process). Maybe you should put in as much as she is putting in. Don't respond to everything she sends and don't see her every time she requests to see you.

[Lostbutokay]

I understand her parents live in Port-Au-Prince so its been tough for her, plus getting her RN, but I can't help but feel guilty about all of this, or maybe she's making me feel guilty.

[Lostbutokay]

I know this girl wouldn't cheat (at least I believe it!) Yet I do not even know if we're back together or not, or what that even means. It's driving me nuts.

[Lostbutokay]

Also, even though we're not friends on FB, sometimes I'll check her posts and stuff, last night around 4 am (she must have woken up, I talked to her at like 11:30 she was going to bed) she posted on some dude's wall.

 

The guy wrote "My mind is going crazy. Is it worth it?"

 

She replied "it depends,if ya thinkin bout me, hell yea it worth it..lol"

 

He replied "lmao..u crazyy yoo"

 

She replied "i kno, sometimes"

 

This dude's in a relationship and IDK if he's a friend or what, but it pisses me off.

[Live-N-Learn]

Also, even though we're not friends on FB, sometimes I'll check her posts and stuff, last night around 4 am (she must have woken up, I talked to her at like 11:30 she was going to bed) she posted on some dude's wall.

 

The guy wrote "My mind is going crazy. Is it worth it?"

 

She replied "it depends,if ya thinkin bout me, hell yea it worth it..lol"

 

He replied "lmao..u crazyy yoo"

 

She replied "i kno, sometimes"

 

This dude's in a relationship and IDK if he's a friend or what, but it pisses me off.

 

 

O man, FB is the devil when you are trying to get over someone! Many of us have looked at our ex's FB and paid dearly for what we have found. You really need to stay away from FB or delete your account all together if you can not stay off her page.

 

The interaction these two had sounds like flirting to me and more than just friends. Sorry, I know it hurts, been there.

[Lostbutokay]

This dude is in a relationship, so I'm not too hurt by it, but * * * , send me some damn messages at 4 am if you're lonely, !!!@$$$@#

[Lostbutokay]

So I went to her place this evening. Watched a movie, we had sex....but at the end of the night when I went to say I love her and kissed her good bye she didn't do it. I did it twice and she didn't respond "I love you too" or anything like that.

 

I told her I want to build our relationship stronger (last tuesday), not be just her * * * * buddy. God am I an emotional guy for wanting her to say that back

 

Someone help me...

[Lostbutokay]

Anyone please : /

[Lostbutokay]

I know she does love me, but it makes me feel like she's scared to get hurt again. Do I just ask her what she considers us or just take it slow.

[Chris Knows]

She seems to be weening you off little by little.

 

Take this for example. When a baby is on the bottle and parents put them into sippy cups. Most parents don't just take the bottle away. They slowly take it away and give bottles during naps etc.

 

It's what she is doing here.

 

You guys are no longer together. She is used to being in a relationship and doesn't know what it's like to not have the attention given to her at all times. So whenever she needs to quick fix, she rings you. You come by, she gets the attention, the sex, the I love you's. Meanwhile, she has no attention to get back together as of right now. So instead of her living an actual single life, she is using you for the time being until she can move onto something else.

 

You need to back off. Big time. Next time she ask you to come over, tell her that your busy. If she calls/text, ignore it for a few days. Why did she not go to the Cook out? Because people would see you guys together and that are not her intentions.

 

Back off bro, It's for the best. Give her tons of space and let her pursue you.

[Lostbutokay]

Chris I hope that isn't true because it pisses me off and cuts deeply. I'm calling her out today on it. What she says will allow me to move on or keep moving with her.