i might have a disease and the person that i care for doesn't care about me

[mgirl]

I am a bit worried that i might have polyneuropathy. I've been getting most of the symptoms. It is related to excessive alcohol consumption (guilty) and diabetes. Also, there are hypothyroid problems in the family and i wouldn't be surprised if i've got this as well.

 

What a sociopathetic person to think i am faking and ignore me when i helped her. I am devestated.

[Citlali]

First of all, I'm sorry. Just make sure to do what you can to keep yourself as healthy as you can. Have you gone to a doctor?

 

Second, was the relationship always tense? Do you guys have issues? Because someone in an otherwise healthy relationship doesn't act this horribly. Turning her back on you is terrible and inexcusable and not something you should have to deal with on top of this. Is it possible she is in denial and doesn't want to accept that you could be sick and so she dealt with it this way?

[mgirl]

Yep, the relationship is terrible. She can go and get...

 

I'm making an appointment with the specialist next week. Already have the referral. I am worried, but if my times up, my times up.

 

I'm changing my diet to protein, vegetables and cutting out sugar. I have to, i think it was the sugar that has caused this (whatever it is, but it's definitely something). I might even have diabetes, although i'm not overweight. the thing i'm most worried about is the nervous system disorder I'm trying to sound cheerful.

 

I guess it makes some people feel good to think that others are at the bottom of the barrel.

[d24]

self-diagnosis is always skewed. get to a doctors and have yourself checked out (edit, just saw u did, good job), and maybe they can help you with medication and counselling. re: the partner, could this be because of the drink involved, because it takes a lot of strength to get through this (for both of you), and you'll need all the support you can get. At this point it might be a good idea to admit you may have a problem and ask her for support(?)

[I_Speak_Jive]

I am a bit worried that i might have

 

is not the same as "I have". I think it's very good that you are about to see a specialist --IF you really are sick, then you can get the right treatment, and if not, then you can put your mind to rest.

 

As for your ex, I can understand the impulse of not getting dragged back down into a vortex of drama over a self-diagnose. Maybe it sounds cold and cynical, but she's quite simply not responsible for your well-being and potentially imaginary threats to it.

 

What you need to do is quit drinking too much, eat healthy, exercise, take care of yourself, move on and step WELL away from teenage drama. Anything less than that will be doing yourself further damage.

[mgirl]

No, she's not my partner. She's used me for almost everything, this just goes to show what an uncaring human being she is.

 

I'm pretty sure i've got something, diabetes, or hypothyroid problems at the least. the latter is heridatory. In some ways, i wouldn't mind just lying down and dying, i know it sounds pathetic, but that's how i'm feeling today.

[Speranza]

If you are 'guilty' of alcohol consumption then it's more likely that than sugar, surely? Anyway, glad you are seeing someone soon. I don't know why you are this concerned about someone if your relationship was already bad..?

[Citlali]

I don't know why you are this concerned about someone if your relationship was already bad..?

 

Oh, well, sometimes it is hard to even come to terms with the fact that someone you know well is a terrible person. And even once you know it, it's hard to let go. I have had issues with this before because when I genuinely care for someone it takes a lot to make it stop, even if I am fully aware the other person has used me. I don't know if that's her reason, but I can understand how this happens. I have since become a little bit more hardened and don't allow such misuse of my friendship anymore. It took a lot to get there, though.

 

Also, mgirl, glad to see you got an appointment with the doctor. Good luck. Just take it a bit at a time. But seriously, having had to also go through relationships with bad people, avoid it. Maybe it's easier said than done, but you don't need this right now. You will need as many positive vibes as possible.

[Speranza]

Yes, true JennBarr. 40 is a great time for new beginnings, OP! Make this the time you begin to change your unhelpful patterns. I hope you have other people you can turn to for support..?

[mgirl]

Yeah, i guess i feel hard done by cos i stuck by this girl through thick and thin, but she is a user and will not change. I have come to the stage where i am over it (although not the anger and inconvenience) and don't need people like that in my life.

 

Yes, i am becoming more hardened. It's a good feeling.

 

 

I think 40 is a good time for change. This potential condition / illness has made me realise how much i was living on the edge in some ways (massive hangovers at least twice per week, plus minor ones at least twice, not healthy).

 

Tonight i had patties, vegies, nuts and water for dinner, instead of sweets, wine, my dinner and whatever else was hanging around.

 

Thank you for your comments, i will take it one step at a time.

 

I also lost my job this week, so am fretting about that. But, what better time to have a clear head? While looking for a job.