Impossible to stop looking?

[aesop921]

I've literally looked all my life, so I don't think I have another way of thinking. I try to fill my life with other things, but I'm ALWAYS thinking about it. It doesn't matter if I'm having a lot of fun with myself, doing other things, I'll still be thinking about finding somebody.

 

So this if this is the only way I've ever literally thought, even throughout childhood, is there anyway I can change this?? I'm tired of thinking about it, I really wish I could stop, but I have terrible control over my mind even after practicing meditation and seeing a therapist.

[Sonicxman]

Can you get yourself a pet maybe like a dog, might help with the loneliness and keep you company?

[Ebrithil]

I find myself in a similar situation some times, I have people I care about a great deal but no one that cares back the same way. I find that no matter how much of a good day I have I come back to my room and I become lonley and depressed.

 

The meditation helps but only for as long as you can stop your mind wandering which isnt easy we all know.

 

The suggestion of a pet isnt a bad one though, when I go home I find my animals help me alot to relax, but all in all the best soloution is to allow yourself the opertunity to meet new people not to look for that one specile relationship but allow it the chance to find you.

[MD Geist]

Become busy. Get another job, hobby or something.

 

Thats how I deal with it, I might as well go cash in on my single 4 life.

[Dako]

I've literally looked all my life, so I don't think I have another way of thinking. So this if this is the only way I've ever literally thought, even throughout childhood, is there anyway I can change this??

 

You can change things, but not if you fight nature.

What's wrong with talking IRL to women who have the same problem?

Maybe they have some ideas.

 

I'm single, lonely and unsightly, but I sure like to listen to women. I chat with them whenever I can as if they're real people. They seem to like it.

Some are single, lonely and cute but wonder why guys ignore them.

[JusticeLaw9]

I don't think it's a bad thing that you don't stop looking. Opportunities don't come if you're always just posting up against the ropes. You've got to take the fight to the middle of the ring sometime.

[savignon]

I used to feel the same way and everyone would tell me, "it happens when you're not looking" and I thought "I'm ALWAYS looking...so it will never happen!". For awhile I tried online dating and that's when I met my husband (in person)....so it kind of did happen when I wasn't looking...or at least not WHERE I was looking.

I think the fact that you're interested in a relationship is nothing to be embarassed or ashamed about. Most people hate all those games (like, 'let's go out but I don't really want a boyfriend/girlfriend'). It's great to put your energy into fulfilling your heart's desire. Like anything else, overdoing it would naturally leave you feeling badly about it. Is there a way to find a balance between the energy you put into dating and the energy you put into everything else you enjoy? Maybe pick one night a week for persuing dating opportunities or "looking" and then fill the rest of your week with a meditation class, a yoga class, a visit with your therapist, watch your favorite TV show, go out with friends.... When your heart is really open, love will find it's way in! Sometimes the frustration and anger about not finding what we want closes up the channels.

Best wishes.

[chelsea13]

Fake it till you make it? Put on a smile, be proud of your status, list 'single' in facebook... do these even if you're not entirely happy with it... fake that you like being by yourself until you make it! By then you will be so happy by yourself that you won't even need a boyfriend..