The odd one out

[i miss her 2]

Those of you that know me know that my gf of 4 years broke up with me almost a year ago to be with another guy. I had my heart crushed. We moved into separate apartments and since then have had a few opportunities to date other girls but felt absolutely nothing for them. Plus there was a lack of attraction I think. I feel very alone right now. I still had my two best friends but now they are both in relationships. I don't know many people...Im 27 years old and I have a job that does not allow me to network very well. I feel like the odd one out because my friends have gf's. Everyone in my band and the band I hang out with all have someone. I know I could get someone I just don't know how to go about doing so. I have nobody to go out with as a friend for the most part because they are all busy with their s.o.'s. Just ranting here because I feel lonely and tired of being this way.

[misssmithviii]

Go out solo, you don't have to be with other people to go out; meet people when you go out. Broadening your "zone" of friends will help I'm sure - but mostly, keep a positive attitude Your ex hurt you I know... but it's been a year, it's time to really pick up your feet and get moving.

[i miss her 2]

Yeah, just not sure how to approach people I guess...especially if they are in a group and I am alone. Also, Im not entirely happy with my job or my life in general...I dont know if I should hold off on meeting new people until I am or what.

 

Yeah, my ex hurt me...and it doesnt help any that I still at times feel like i will never connect like I did with her with anyone else...or the fact that we still talk from time to time.

[misssmithviii]

Well perhaps that's the problem... you shouldn't be talking to her! She left you for another man A YEAR AGO. She's holding you back...

 

You can live without her, and until you start doing that - you'll be stuck

 

When you're unhappy, people see that and it's off-putting. You need to start doing things with your life, for now then since you're so unhappy I'd say focus on yourself and what you can do to make your life better on you own. Only then can you be able to find a match.

[i miss her 2]

I know but as crazy as it sounds...I feel better when she is in my life somewhat...but maybe Im just telling myself that? I feel miserable and lonely without any contact because I have nobody to really talk to it seems these days.

[Tanzi]

Firstly, you are not the only one who feels like the the odd one out at times. Its one of those things that we all go through at times, its always that way for someone. Its not a reflection on you or your character and it doesn't mean that it will always be this way.

 

Secondly, you must seriously start to reconsider the contact you have with your ex. Believe me, I know its difficult, I've been there too but all it does is hold you back. Where there is contact with an ex, there is hope and it is that hope that stops you from making those vital steps forward. The fact that you say you feel happier when she is in your life means that you haven't really let go. Although the little bit of contact you have may help in the short term, its not helping in the long term ... and that is what you need to be thinking about now. You need to get to a point where you are happy without her in your life. I know that may seem an impossible task but when you finally let go and stop looking backwards you can actually start to take notice of what is around you and moving forwards.

 

Have you considered going on a dating site? It doesn't have to all be about dating, a good approach is to use them initially to meet new people, make new friends and if anything comes from that then it is a bonus. That way you aren't putting yourself under too much pressure to find "the one" ... or just "anyone". I think you need to have some fun for now and get yourself in a happier place. When you are feeling happy about yourself then the rest will follow.