veralyn Posted May 2, 2010 Share Posted May 2, 2010 Main Q: What are peoples' opinions on sending an apology letter to an ex from the past who is sooo over it but will probably still appreciate the admittance deep down (with no hope of reconciliation or even a reply, just to say sorry for your mistakes because you've grown, and you truly are.)??? Optional extended version : (It's been a long time... A closure conversation is long overdue and wouldnt even have any value at this point... There is a probably irreversable tension between us due to accumulated lack of honest communication... But there was once a deep, genuine, infinite and mutual love. now it's time to move on just because theres nothing left at the moment to fight for. but I constantly find myself feeling guilty about selfish behaviour in the past. things remind me of it constantly and it does not feel like the time to try to win him back but simply the time to apologize and let it go. Not because I want to regain his opinion of me or his love, but because I genuinely feel terrible for once hurting someone I love(d) so much. I would not expect a reply. i just cant watch time go on and the distance to grow for dishonest reasons. it feels wrong, twisted, and like a waste of so many amazing years to leave it be with so many loose ends. i just feel that in the future, even when I am married to another wonderful man, there will always be this guilty thing inside of me, that tears up rather than smiles when I remember my ex..... he was my first love, y'know? I feel like it would be 2304975 pounds off my shoulders, that i could breathe again, clear my conscience knowing i at least finished it properly with what it deserved way too late rather than never, so that whatever happens in the future happens honestly and not based on these lies... and that deep down, even if he rolls his eyes and thinks "go away already", he will appreciate it... i know i've asked kind of the same question before on ena, to whoever has read my threads! i know i know im sorry... it's honestly a progresion for me... im an indecisive lol and my feelings towards him change daily. some of them are irrational because im angry. some are indifferent because im tired of it. but the feelings that feel the most REAL are when i feel calm.. what i am writing right now. just sorry. im asking cuz my head says dont send it you'll look ridiculous, but my heart says send it it's what you mean and its honest so who cares what he thinks at this point you just need to forgive yourself and move on... how can i forgive MYSELF if the person whose feelings i hurt doesnt even know im sorry... maybe i am making this unnecessarily complicated? lol xoV Link to comment
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