Help!! Head over heals for a guy that is engagaed.

[tisd]

I met this guy 3 years ago and we had an instant connection. Everytime I would see him He would give me a certain look and smile at me. I was in a long term relationship at the time. My ex of 4 years and I broke up 7 months ago. This guy that i like asked me out as soon as he found out we broke up but it was to soon for me to start dating and I was really upset. I told him that i needed more time. I called him 3 months later to see what he was up to and he was engaged! I left it at that but then he called me and we talked for a long time. He told me that he had been waiting for 3 years for me and my ex to break up. He said that him and his fiance were having problems and that he had taken the ring back and they had called off the wedding but now she had the ring back. There is still no date set. They are having a religion conflict and he doesnt know if it can be solved. I feel like we have a great connection and a lot in common. I told him that i had feelings for him and that if things didnt' work out that i would like to date. He also told me that he was ready to get married and have a family. I can't stop thinking about him and really want to be with him. I dont want to be a home breaker, but i know we would be happy together. Any advice on what i should do?

[sisterlynch]

He isn't married so he is free to date, I feel. You didn't break off their engagement, it was broken by a difference of religions, which to me spells that they aren't that compatible after all.

 

I think that you should be allowed to get to know him for a while with out any pressures. Good luck...

[tisd]

thanks for the help. The girl still has the ring though. I guess if its meant to be for us then things will work out the way thier supposed to. Thanks.

[Openminded]

Rings dont mean anything. In fact he is entitled to getting it back, until they are married. So, I wouldnt even consider that an issue. Money certainly isnt everything, and unless you are expecting an expensive ring then whats the deal?

[sisterlynch]

There are other things to consider, does he always treat the women he

meets like the way that he treated you, even if he is seeing someone else?

 

If he made her take back the ring, then he is telling you about it, he doesn't sound like a gentleman, if you know what I mean? He is really two timing his fiance and she will most likely make him pay for it, later.

 

Is he someone who has trouble making a commitment? Is this just the typical last chance for fun before marriage kind of a thing that you may be getting involved in...

 

Lots of men are players: they may want every girl that they come in contact with to like them, and he may or may not return the feelings that you are feeling for him. Guys can play like they really like you for a while and then later say that you were the one who broke them up, and try and lay the guilt trip on you.

 

I would remain a friend in the situation that you have mentioned.

[kungfumaster]

Hi tisd,

 

I always feel that when two people begin a potential love relationship, they should start it with a clean slate having completely (or almost) healed from an ending of a previous love relationship. I think it is tough enough to work on a serious love relationship, but when you start it and you already have some doubts, i.e., you are thinking twice about it, and he still has to deal with his former fiance, then you guys are already starting way below par.

 

In my opinion, I think you should just plain stay away. He is in a volatile place now being at the verge of an ending of AN ENGANGEMENT, and jumping into another relationship right away just smells too much like a rebound - unless this is what you want, i.e., a short term healing relationship. But he said he wants to be married and have kids, so he definitely is not looking for a short term thing.

 

Anyways, good luck with everything and take care.

Kung fu

[tc]

My suggestion to you is to stay away from him for now, let him sort out his business with his FIANCE, someone is bound to get hurt and it's most likely going to be you.

 

put yourself in his fiance's place: how would you feel if you found out some other woman were moving in on "your man"? i bet you wouldn't like it. so...

 

that's my 2 cents, do with it what you will.

 

best of luck.

[Kittengirl]

This guy is out of bounds! If he is engaged then he and his fiance have decided to get married...god help her, but you should back off and find an unattached guy. You will be setting yourself up for disaster take it from one who knows. Good Luck.