sex issues?

[JayRo]

I've noticed recently my boyfriend hasn't really gone down on me recently. We have been having some problems and trying to work on them. He used to go down on me during sex all the time now he doesnt? I asked him about it last night and he tells me he just doesnt want to do it anymore? I asked him why and what was the matter? He got upset and said he just doesnt want to do it anymore and if I wanted it to get it from elsewhere!! I was so shocked and upset. I left the house for a bit and came back. He then asked me if I was mad and I said yes. I said he is making it feel like he is not attracted to me anymore and it made me feel horrible (we have sex 3 or 4 times a week). He said no thats not how I should take it he said he was just kidding and he didnt mean it like that. I said so we are just not pleasing eachother anymore? He said I did not say that I just dont want to. When I try to go down on him he doesnt want me to. I am so confused and hurt? help.

[sidehop]

How's the relationship overall aside from this one particular problem? How long have you two dated?

 

What he said is nothing to be joked about of course. There's no "that is not how you should take it".

[greywolf]

He is acting like a child. If he has a problem, then he needs to talk to you about it, not punish you through sex.

 

When you get the chance, ask him what's bothering him, but ask nicely. Don't accuse him or be confrontational.

[Capricorn3]

You say he doesn't want you to go down on him either. It is rather odd, considering you have sex 3-4 times a week. There could have been a reason for not wanting to go down on you, but the fact that HE doesn't want it either makes it pretty baffling.

 

I'm afraid that the only one with the answers is him. You'll have to have a talk again, but not sure if he'll tell you what's really going on. Good luck.

[JayRo]

the past few months have been hard. he just got a new job and b4 that him being unemployed took a toll on us. he was really depressed-never left the house and never slept. but we bounced back and tryin to work on it. sex is great but I feel like sometimes the romance is gone or not so much foreplay. so to hear him say that last night made me feel horrible! we have been together 4 years.

[Capricorn3]

the past few months have been hard. he just got a new job and b4 that him being unemployed took a toll on us. he was really depressed-never left the house and never slept

I think this could be part of the reason/answer. Stress and depression can really mess up a relationship and losing interest in sex (even only partially) is usually the first sign. I put my money on this being the problem.

[JayRo]

So what is the best way to deal with this? take it day by day and try to talk to him? be patient? Thank u !! P.s. we are going on vacation in 9 days..maybe that will help too?

[sidehop]

Definitely, wind down and focus on just you 'two' while on vacation. Stress among many factors can put a strain on any relationship including sex.

 

It doesn't always have to be about sex, sometimes it may just take more romantic gestures, appreciation and working on the core of the relationship even if it's something simple or subtle. Less stress in life, supporting each other and better emotional strengthening I'm sure will all help with better sex as well as keeping the relationship strong each day.

[d24]

how often fo you go down on him?

is it proportionate to how often he used to go down on you?

have you decreased doing it to him recently?

[/hint]