To avoid, or not to avoid?

[d_lilah]

Tonight, I was meant to be going out with my friends to a club. However, there is a very good possibility of my ex being there. While I am 'over' him (not interested in a relationship with him any more, would not initiate contact, etc), I do not want to be there and see him flirting with other girls (like I know he will do, attention seeking d***), and him trying to get a rise out of me. I have been 1 month NC and I am definitely seeing the positive effects.

 

I don't want to go incase he is there, but I also don't want to back out. The only other option is to go there and try and ignore him, but I know it will set me back. If I thought that I could ignore him and he would ignore me, I would go, but I know he will try and get to me.

 

What's a girl to do?

[sidehop]

Well if he does this than he's being pathetic, I'd say go out and have fun with your friends and ignore him. No need to let him get to you for being immature.

[d_lilah]

I know, but it is what he does, he's done similar things in the past. He feels he needs to prove to himself that he is the mature, independent and successful one, and he would say that any reaction I would give is being pathetic. He's a complete sociopath. He didn't understand how much I was hurting when he broke it off, and didn't care.

 

If I went and he was there, I would have to leave. I just don't want to give him the satisfaction.

 

Plus I can't look 'hot'...i've lost weight so all my clothes are baggy...I never thought I'd regret weight loss, lol!

[mattguy]

Im in a similar situation, this bar is reopening and I know my ex will be there, I want to go though. My plan is to go and just ignore him, keep him out of ur vision and focus on having a good time

[sidehop]

I know, but it is what he does, he's done similar things in the past. He feels he needs to prove to himself that he is the mature, independent and successful one, and he would say that any reaction I would give is being pathetic. He's a complete sociopath. He didn't understand how much I was hurting when he broke it off, and didn't care.

 

If I went and he was there, I would have to leave. I just don't want to give him the satisfaction.

 

Plus I can't look 'hot'...i've lost weight so all my clothes are baggy...I never thought I'd regret weight loss, lol!

 

But if you're completely over him, are you saying this will keep bothering you? He has to at one point get that you are not interested in his mind games and is wasting his time.

 

I'm sure it'll get him more going when he see other guys hitting on you!