What's with thoes guys in clubs

[xyzzzz]

Sorry if it sounds shallow or stupid..cuz i said a lot of things about "look"But i think in clubs that's what ppl go for isnt it? And everyone has their preference.

Ok so I was clubbing a lot this week.(first time being so crazy).and never ever a good looking guy approached me....only the unattractive guys(to me)......

Funny thing is...eariler this week I went home from clubbing,with my friend.There was a guy(was fine looking but just not my type) and obviously he was drunk but anyway...he came to us and talked to us.And he said he thinks Im hot,way hotter than my friend(he said it in front of me and my friend!)but i seem cold and standoffish and seems i dont like him...

Ok now is the problem...how open do girls behave in clubs? Otherwise they'll all be cold? I dunno about other girls but at least I dont think Im colder than my friend?

Also..am i only attractive to guys that arent my type? Do they have lower standard on girls or what?cuz hot guys go to that friend!

I dont know if I should face the fact that Im not hot and live with it.Or I am not bad but I just need to work something,like being more open?

[Lovelace]

Friendliness can do wonders for how often people approach you. Seriously.

 

That said, you're always going to find people who don't think you're attractive, and some who do. A vast majority of the time, you will find that the people who hit on you, you are not interested in. The people you ARE interested in, are not interested in you.

 

If it was so easy to match up, like and like, then everyone would already be paired off.

[Casanova4life]

Post a pic. I'm hot . so its my anzwer you are looking for. I also club a lot and I would be able to tell you if you are my kind of girl. I prefer the pic to be full body iso I can also study your posture.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Only jerks or drunks will approach women they do not know when that woman has given them no indication that they like them. Smiles can go a long way. Just look at a guy, make eye contact, smile and look down, and then look back up and make eye contact. Gets them every time.

[newwave]

All I find are pigs. They are either fat slobs or ugly. Screw all men.

[xyzzzz]

Only jerks or drunks will approach women they do not know when that woman has given them no indication that they like them. Smiles can go a long way. Just look at a guy, make eye contact, smile and look down, and then look back up and make eye contact. Gets them every time.

 

lol maybe..well i cant tell if they are drunk..but they do look hot lol

Looking smiling and looking down? Is that what girls do in clubs? Whao I guess Im shy cuz that is definitely "very much" for me..I dont really smile at guys cuz Im afraid they think im creepy? lol if I catch a hot guys looking at me,which is rare, I automatically look away.......

[xyzzzz]

Friendliness can do wonders for how often people approach you. Seriously.

 

 

If it was so easy to match up, like and like, then everyone would already be paired off.

 

Friendliness. comes back to my problem "how friendly are ppl"? Maybe I really look unfriendly and that scares ppl off..i dunno.

For the pairing part..yeah ur right.But also..those good looking guys go to my friends? So it;s easy for her to "pair up"..She's not universally beautiful.Cuz some guys say she;s not attractive to them..Oh well..I admit she does look nice and friendly.

[Cognitive_Canine]

lol maybe..well i cant tell if they are drunk..but they do look hot lol

Looking smiling and looking down? Is that what girls do in clubs? Whao I guess Im shy cuz that is definitely "very much" for me..I dont really smile at guys cuz Im afraid they think im creepy? lol if I catch a hot guys looking at me,which is rare, I automatically look away.......

 

If you can't even smile or look at a guy, how do you expect them to approach you?

 

Looking away shows disinterest.

[xyzzzz]

yeah yeah ur right i know..but it;s my instinct...but i dont always do it..since i know it gives out disinterest signal which is wrong,i sometimes try smile back too. but like i said i hardly catch hot guys checking me out anyway...lol

and i thought girls were not flirty,hence they are like me...

[galaxy71]

Only jerks or drunks will approach women they do not know when that woman has given them no indication that they like them. Smiles can go a long way. Just look at a guy, make eye contact, smile and look down, and then look back up and make eye contact. Gets them every time.

 

Do you know any guys who approach women in bars and nightclubs? In bars and nightclubs, sober non-jerk guys reguarly approach women they do not know when that woman has given them no indication that they like them. For guys who are not Brad Pitt handsome, we can't rely on women to look at us, before we approach them. There are plenty of posts where women talk about how they dated a guy that they were not initially attracted to. I thought women were not as rigid about looks, as much as guys are.

 

Your post is going to discourage insecure guys from approaching women in bars and nightclubs because they don't want to be perceived as drunk or a jerk by women.

[Cognitive_Canine]

Do you know any guys who approach women in bars and nightclubs? In bars and nightclubs, sober non-jerk guys reguarly approach women they do not know when that woman has given them no indication that they like them. For guys who are not Brad Pitt handsome, we can't rely on women to look at us, before we approach them. There are plenty of posts where women talk about how they dated a guy that they were not initially attracted to. I thought women were not as rigid about looks, as much as guys are.

 

Your post is going to discourage insecure guys from approaching women in bars and nightclubs because they don't want to be perceived as drunk or a jerk by women.

 

It's not that they are perceived as jerks but that it is extremely intimidating for anyone to just do a cold approach. Most who do either have some drinks in them to give them courage, or they don't give a damn whether or not the woman likes them.

 

I've been cold approached before and most of the time it's not desirable attention =/. As in they weren't that nice or were too forceful.

 

The only time I've been cold approached and it's been a good experience has been outside of a club/bar setting.

[nutz76]

Make sure you don't have a scowl on your face or have closed off body language like crossing your arms. Most women send off a b*tchy vibe all the time and don't even realize it. Also, don't close yourselves off to the venue by facing each other or the bar. If you're in a group never form a closed circle, make more of a U shape or semi-circle. When a guy approaches the best thing you can do is leave the herd and give the two of you a few minutes of alone time.

 

And the most important thing...when your friend runs up and tries to cockblock for no reason YOU have to shoo her away. She's just being jealous and will constantly make sure if she's going home alone or not having a good time then neither can you. Remember that!

[pinkelephant]

Make sure you don't have a scowl on your face or have closed off body language like crossing your arms. Most women send off a b*tchy vibe all the time and don't even realize it. Also, don't close yourselves off to the venue by facing each other or the bar. If you're in a group never form a closed circle, make more of a U shape or semi-circle. When a guy approaches the best thing you can do is leave the herd and give the two of you a few minutes of alone time.

 

And the most important thing...when your friend runs up and tries to cockblock for no reason YOU have to shoo her away. She's just being jealous and will constantly make sure if she's going home alone or not having a good time then neither can you. Remember that!

 

oh my god. i hate how some of you perceive women.

[chelsea13]

You are very insecure..

Trust me I've been there and it's not fun. I rely on others' comments and such. It's a very tiring process.

If people don't think you're hot, then it's really not the end of the world cos you have more to offer, and the important thing is you have to know that you are beautiful. And look, if he said you're hot, then take it as a compliment, and there's no need to overanalyse it. Personally, I wouldn't be complaining if I was you.

Well .. the whole interest thing.. that's life.

 

I really feel you because I used to rely on others' comments a lot and read and overanalyse everything.. and I somehow still do but I'm working on it. Cos one day I just decided that I need to let this go because it's really really tiring.

 

I think the scariest thing is not realising that you are not hot to other people, it is when you can't even find yourself beautiful without the comments of others.

 

Oh and another thing, I used to analyse all the time about why I don't have guys chasing me if I'm so attractive. And I used to fear the idea of realising that I'm not that attractive afterall. But lately I've come to realise that the reality is not so bad.. that I find peace with myself not being as attractive as I am but finding myself liking myself more and more. I may not be a head-turner but I somehow find uniqueness in myself that I like. So.. even if you're not super hot, it doesn't necessarily mean that you're worse off.

 

But in saying so I'm sure you're quite attractive yourself from reading your posts, and the compliments that you receive.

[chelsea13]

oh my god. i hate how some of you perceive women.

 

Exactly.

It's like, 'oh she's jealous because she's cockblocking'

 

Some of us women actually care about our friends and whether they're safe with a new guy alone.

 

Not all of us are always jealous.

 

Don't sound like you're an expert on women.

[Lovelace]

Blueman, you're not kidding.

[Go Habs Go]

Personally, I avoid clubs. You get drunk guys that hit on anything with two legs and women that sleep around. I also wouldn't want a drunk chick hitting on me. As another poster said, many women give off the b*tchy vibe. It's a defense mechanism and I certainly understand it, but why would any decent guy approach a woman that gives off that vibe?

[agatha]

the club flirting is a little easier than it seems. the *itch vibe works well on putting the unwanted guys away, but you must know how to dose that.

 

if you want to be approached, you must learn how to lure. and to lure you must observe. a lot. roam your eyes around, maintain eyecontact, look until he is aware that you are staring. girls take a long time to get it, but since it's a situation in which we are more vulnerable, we also are in a position of power. take that power in your hands, girl.

 

short story: I was at the club last weekend, exchanged glances with a guy at the door. I just looked at him once, almost unintentionally, and he followed me all night around. I was with friends, not really looking for meeting new people, so I didn't return all of the stares nor smiled. but wherever I went, he would put himself somewhere I would pass by him - he would be playing pool or dancing, or talking to a friend, but that was it. then I went to the bar to get some drinks and he was there as well, intentionally or not. he said hi, I said hi. I gave him a grin, not a large smile, although I was feeling a connection. then he fetched the deaf waiter for me, we had some small talk, and didn't we have a lot in common? exchanged phone numbers, and are still text flirting.

 

on the other hand, there was this other guy who came from nowhere, never caught my attention. he was handsome, but didn't send the right vibe. what did I do? put him in his place, delicately: I'm with friends for the night, thanks but I'm not interested at all.

 

it's not what they do or don't. it's how you act/react.

[xyzzzz]

he didnt send the right vibe? what did he do?

[agatha]

my friends told me that while I was dancing, he stayed a few feet away, looking at me from behind for a long time. they were facing him all the time and scowling because of the way he was looking at me, but he came over nonetheless, talking.

 

I really meant it when I said it was a not right vibe. but I don't know, he halted me mid-step to introduce himself... no good timing. when there's no synch, there's no synch.

 

p.s.: the guy at the bar is exactly my type. nerdy, almost displaced in the club. confident enough to come talk to me at the right moment, polite and knew to take no as an answer and turn it into a 'tomorrow'. scored a combo right there = )

[xyzzzz]

ok so ur saying the handsome one approached u in a wrong way? but he did approach u(introduced himself) and...u didnt lure him...

[agatha]

yes. analyzing it, he crept from behind, which gave me a sense of insecurity and made me refuse get to know him better.

 

the fact that he is handsome is almost irrelevant, as they both were. I was not luring him intentionally, but perhaps me dancing with the girls was. I also smile a lot (because I usually am in love with life X D), and even if I did not smile at him, it makes me look approachable. my clothes were very plain, as I had just got out of work - black dress and boots, so my looks can't be counted as decisive.

 

the 'wrong' guy also left me and started hitting on all the other girls, while the 'right' one (in a vibe sense) remained alone for the rest of the night, not approaching any other girl. after we talked at the bar, we kept exchanging glances as he served as wingman to his friends, and that was it. one's nearly desperate attempts were very obvious contrasted to the other - whose sole purpose there was to have a good time with his friends.

 

I chose one over the other because I knew what I wanted there, accepted an unexpected opportunity, and above all, knew which signs to read and the buttons to push.

[nutz76]

oh my god. i hate how some of you perceive women.

 

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Sometimes girls eye code and the friend coming in to "rescue her" is justified. Barring that when one friend is having a blast and the other steals her away, it's usually because she's jealous and wants attention as well. I see it happen every night I go out when guys fail to wing each other properly. My friend and I came up with a saying years ago when we figured this out, "you can't get the hottie until you appease the nottie". Hell, there was even a movie made based on this premise starring Paris Hilton.

[Cognitive_Canine]

You're making a mountain out of a mole hill. Sometimes girls eye code and the friend coming in to "rescue her" is justified. Barring that when one friend is having a blast and the other steals her away, it's usually because she's jealous and wants attention as well. I see it happen every night I go out when guys fail to wing each other properly. My friend and I came up with a saying years ago when we figured this out, "you can't get the hottie until you appease the nottie". Hell, there was even a movie made based on this premise starring Paris Hilton.

 

Yep. It's legit. Paris Hilton was in a movie about it.

 

I agree with PinkElephant. I doubt many women rescue their friends because they are jealous. More like they don't want their tipsy friend getting raped and murdered in a van down by the river. You go together, you leave together. You watch each others' drinks. Never go alone.

[nutz76]

Yep. It's legit. Paris Hilton was in a movie about it.

 

I agree with PinkElephant. I doubt many women rescue their friends because they are jealous. More like they don't want their tipsy friend getting raped and murdered in a van down by the river. You go together, you leave together. You watch each others' drinks. Never go alone.

 

And there it is. Women have become so programmed by society to think they're all victims that they've got to "be on the lookout" as though every man is a wolf in sheep's clothing. Such a sad and unhealthy view of men today. It's really too bad it's gotten to this point. Anyway, it comes down to rational vs irrational fears, something women are well shielded from due to feminism's impact on western culture. An example, being roofied at a club is actually an irrational fear. The odds of it happening are infinitesimally small and almost all cases of women thinking they were just turns out thank drank too much.